Wednesday, March 30, 2005


liberty autonomy lack of restriction self-determination awareness choice independence openness inventiveness FREEDOM non-conformity eccentricity originality frankness oddness strangeness peculiarity unconventional truthful evasive

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Posted by Hello

reminiscing 'bout bantayan always send tingle through my spine..
the beach, the people, ang tagay, and of course, the FREEDOM
but this one is no bantayan.. the picture is courtesy of WOW Philippines
someday.. with my "future" cam..
i will over doze you with my personal sight

have some splash everyone!

one whole great summer to you all!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

come what may!

no matter what..
i cud pass or not..
fail or not..
no one can stop me going north!
im going home for the holidays!!!!

Monday, March 21, 2005

at least

it makes me smile to find how time
pass me through..
every moment that i cudnt posibly grasp
always fade into thin air..
such days..

..a cathartic talk with Vera in their L300 van
-stil remember my anguish soul unleashed
-the tears flows as if il be dehydrated
-listening..talking..pause..complete silence in the midst of dawn
-the releif

..a letter written to Ash
-the smile..
-swallowing the pride.. humility kept.
-a farewell letter.. i guess
-hope vanished..i surrender
-teary eyed
-gudluck to me then..

..Birthday ni Russ
-wishful thinkings
-lighting of candles
-cathedral..murmuring of personal prayers
-exhibit at moon cafe..pica-pica..tacos
-walk under a smoky sky

..forgiveness, a second anniversary
-text Nikko
-thanking him this way:
"ei niks..two years na since u forgave me ..
tnx 4 d forgiveness.. but u have to
understand u hurt me too.. and for that im not ready to forgive u yet.
-stil the black shirt..still the chubby cute Nikko
i used to love.. the western coast
-the sunset
-wandering aimlessly
-barefooted.. stamping on the seashore
-breeze dampens my face
-solitary moment

those moments never cease to pervade my inner being..
though, it passed me by
but still, i got a glimpse of it
at least..

im grateful
and i can't help but to smile..


blessed are those who have camera..
for they have seen the world in different perspective..
and froze it to eternity..
il be one of those i considered

Sunday, March 20, 2005 Posted by Hello

the worst possible thing

the worst possible thing that
could happen: the terror of not
knowing when it would ever stop.
- Amy Tan

the Joy Luck Club

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

to whom it may concern:

OK, let truth be known..
im not straight
and i dont give a damn
about it.
angal ka?!


the other plate..
tried to be boundless..
seems to capsized the infinite.. Posted by Hello


pose with my work for my portfolio..
thanx for my cameragirl: Vera

i admit it's still amateur looking for competitiveness..
still exploring..
still growing as a pro..
soon.. Posted by Hello


i find it depressing to lose a tooth..

i got a wee chat with Nikko right before i'l
have my dental extraction.

it's 8:30 am. Wednesday.
i told him how i feared to spit blood
after the procedure.

trying not to anticipate, i read an article in RDigest
and share a photo with him.
but my hands seems to tremble
as i hand him the article..
i don't know if it was because im horified,

for its only 30 min left before iv got to drag myself at the clinic
or its been so long since the last time were been together in the library
just plainly talking and share the moments together..
yeah.. its been three years had passed.

then he left
alone, endangered with the shelves
but still, the last phrase he muttered
lingers in my head.
press rewind:
"ayaw nalang pa-ibot"

hmm.. bitaw noh
i got lots of activities to underscore..
fine then..

making my way out..
two figures bumps my sight
it was Nikko.. and his future girlfriend.
reality sinking in..
it bleeds me to see them together.
ah okhee
i'l have my extraction.


i feel numb
and the dentist's hand pull over at my jaw
how i fear to spit blood
commanded to gargle,
and i taste my own blood.

iv got an excavation being done
iv lost a tooth today
and soon, some more .
i'l be toothless for the rest of my life..

and for that i feel terrible.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


maybe only the grasses knew what the wind whispers.. Posted by Hello

Monday, March 14, 2005

Posted by Hello

wanna try this one from penshoppe
and replace the ray ban that i bought only for Php40
heheeh.. imit!

Friday, March 11, 2005


blood creeps
heart pulses
someone's freaking me

knoting up all the details
people laughing
people spitting

they were bullshit!

sipping up
enter the lime light
and comuoflage with their sight

"Honored guests and sponsors..
Good evening everyone,
and welcome to our opening.."

and the program flows
the cringe follows..
then try to doze off

hand shakes


people laughing
people spitting
they were bullshit!
sipping up
exit the lime light
and comuoflage out of their sight.
Posted by Hello

one of my favorite artist would be Tony de Carlo...
he have this identity embeded on his canvass..
an eye would look closely for the attitude that this
portrait wanted to scream about..

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


given the task, i made our group exhibit statement
such a funny way to spend hours infront of the computer screen.
it was no joke to come up with something that really stir up all of
our individual's sentiments in regards with our arts..
and im able to come up with this:

Diwa sa Buhing Hulagway

A collaborative group exhibit by the Art Seminar II class that epitomizes the authority to create artworks from an inspiration, self actualization and freedom. Thus, having the power to make an artwork into a living piece.

Diwa sa Buhing Hulagway showcases 24 artworks from different artists whose trying to make the present local art world a profile.

Consisting of 12 Fine Artist Students, under the Humanities Division of University of the Philippines Cebu College, integrates varied works made up of different mediums and be able to compose different techniques.

To create, to communicate, and to conclude were some of the few objectives.

Have a peek and reflect.

there! phew!
at last!
proud, i show it off to our adviser..
expecting a good remark from him.
yeah, he did..
but he just do something i despise of..
he edit it and revise it all over..
"i guess this is enough.." he simply quipes
and give the over baked parchment.

thanx sir..
then i mutter to myself,

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

me and pat

ready for summer!


there's so many times i feel like dying..
how i wish this rotting feeling just be erradicated and be burried.
but, it lingers
and it pains more than i cud ever muster..
still, i cease to live and learn from it..
if there's a time to mourn then, theres a time to dance.
trying to be pre-occupied all the time
trying to chase off the depression away
and i realize how busy i became
and i realize i should be tamed
9:00 am.. my class is still 4 hours away
drag my butt inside the library
its a breezy summer.
i got a microcosmic view of our campus by the window
so placid yet moving
and the accacia leaves keep on scattering on the asphalt pavement
i got my hands on this oak smelling book
authored by Margie Magritte
she was a widow who doesn't just loss her husband and two children in a car accident
but also her will to continue to live as well.. she mourns and she grieves..
but somehow she able to cope up and and have this lessons written on her book:
Grief the Mourning After.
The lessons of Grief..
"however, i firmly believe everything that comes our way is material for our growth"
  • the value of living the present
  • the joy of spontaneity
  • the value of time

The need for simplicity..

Learning to live more simply frees our energies to be truly creative. In a world full of stimulation, it is necessary to divest ourselves of as many needless tasks as we can.

there's lot of circumstances that were'nt under our control.. we must move with changes..

--- and without change, we wither and die

The value of Patience

Grief also teaches us that we must be patient with ourselves allowing the grieving process to take place in whatever manner it is supposed to. If life becomes hurried, we miss the best part--- the quite, uneventful, meaningful moments we can know alone or with those we love.

i guess.. the thing that i really learned from these excerpts is that

i must move on


Okhee, now im in my
point of saturation...

[mirc chat / wala na'y ayo]

Friday, March 04, 2005

03 04 05

posters.. invitation cards..
permits.. press kits..
venue.. pika-pikas..

all done!
and we're ready for our group exhibit.

it was a blast preparing for our group exhibit..
under sir Karl's class, Art Sem II

not to mention.. pain in the ass

were supposed to pay for our venue,
the catering and the flowers.. miscellaneous (e.g. posters and stuffs)
which estimated cost wud be
12 kiaw

"omigolly" i said.. where cud we fetch that huge amount?!

so i start open up MS Word and type an openhanded letter
contact Shyn and send those soloicitations to her connections..

SHE have connections..

and i grasp in amazement as i knew who those people are.
cong. Raul del Mar of North District.. cong. Yapha
Mrs. Flora Mae Ludo..
and we even have sponsors: NorthWest Cafe and MikeMayer printing press..

cool sponsors for a class exhibit..
i never knew we have such power to convince people..

so we officially spread the word:
6 PM

then here we are, putting our invites in a white envelope
soon those will land to other people's hand
paving a way to promote local art.

Thursday, March 03, 2005


I really find it soothing...

to take a bath after a great sob.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


I never had a great loss, (after gaving up with Itlog)
after all,.. i learned to see beauty behind
a poke-markedpig-faced of my long time crush..=)


... there goes the freaky me. im off to a new dimensia.
i cudn't possibly organize the swift flow of thoughts that flooded me.

maybe im just too confused to even think.
to even realize wat have just transpired..

cool then.. amused..
but still, i cud remember the moment.
im in a trance for three minutes..
two person i thought cud feed my intuition were right at the back
and infront of me..
they were there.. filling the empty chairs in the library.
and they have fake smiles plastered in their faces..

and for me, they look like a jackass.

what happened to my weee feelings, my yearn and the longing?
i guess these just simply fades..
because their existence never permeate totally into my being..

they show motives that brings me to cringe..
they do say hi and flash their wicked smile..
i made a sigh and then nothing else.

they never did exert enough effort.

for them, my sms never spice up their mobile screen..
my treats didn't brighten their day..
my hug can't send them warmth
they failed to feel my heart

... or they were just too numb to feel at all

and there they go again..
saying hi and plaster their wicked smiles.

they suck!

better move on..
they got no luck

better venture to another planet
maybe il find my peace


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