whose my first mistake?
i can answer that in 5 letters
the name that batter my liquid heart
into a scrambled whack
then i will tell you what transpired that day
let's flashback 4 years ago
February 5, 2003
UP water fountain.
it's the time ***** would like to confront me
with the parchment that i put on his bag
while he's researching inside the library
4 years ago.
4 years of wondering
of what ifs and of sudden twist of fate,
unending puzzle that leads to constant questioning:
what could have been?
of bottled emotion,
as hard and as difficult
as holding an erection
and intermittent frustration over things beyond
thirsty of knowing what he also felt for me
my stomach lurched of acid curiosity
he's coming towards me,
but i tilt my head to tame my questioning lips
with cold running water
he would like to confront me.
but i turn my back with fear
and he mistook it for rejection
when i lean back
i saw him running farther
farther away from me
a parchment that i put in his bag
a two paged letter containing my farewell,
an immature confession of a bottled affection
blurting out three silly words
with a coward goodbye for a closure.
thinking that it is my final leap to a new found discovery:
that i love him, but retiring with the notion that
he's damned straight---and i'm definitely not.
researching inside the library
he might be still trying to understand
what i meant for all the craziness i've been.
naive: i find love confusing,
and no knowledge of expressing it
my coded love beat might have been too gibberish
for him to decode 4 years and counting
and forever leave me wondering:
what he's response would be?
Lots of lovin'
As Time Goes By
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- what his response would be?
- of ashes and bones..
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