Tuesday, December 25, 2007

12 midnight crisis

i thought i'll spend my xmas eve speaking with the americans. they're the one who coined the concept of xmas anyway, so what's the fuss of deviating from the idea of the filipino tradition of spending xmas at home which always highlighted with a feast on noche buena.

my shift starts by 10:00pm, 2 hours before the xmas eve. 2 hours before i'll surrender 20 years of tradition of spending xmas the "normal way".

it is a 12 midnight crisis.

there are 365.25 days in a year. 52 weeks, and more or less there are 104 weekends. unfortunately, December 24 falls on Monday. tsk.. fine, i'll not be absent. i already have cite form from the HR due to my excessive tardiness.

ok, i'll be present and go to work for xmas. but i'll come in late, as a protest or just for the heck of it. so what am i gonna do? where can i spend my pre-xmas eve hours?

*i am more than a hundred kilometres away from my nuclear family
*i don't have a bf anymore (pang,ouch)
*yen is in bohol, chai in cagayan, vera is on field, while russ will spend it in his sister's place with his family.
*my crush will celebrate their xmas party shortly before their shift starts.

in short, i have nobody i can be with this xmas.. as much as i wanted to be a loser, i don't wanna sit in a bar and get drunk least txt anonymous people and have random company.

fine..fine..fine..
im on my own again..
so i hailed a jeepney
do wind riding
see the city pouring with xmas lights
do church hoping
take pictures of this "spur of the moment" images
see children smile
greet random people merry xmas
let mariah and christina shriek as they do their xmas hymns on my headphone.

but still,
i have this need for a home.
an immediate home.
a solace from this demanding year ender celebration.

txted vera: asa ka..
giving gifts sa mga pulis ug mga nurses on duty.
I'll be home in 30 minutes.
anha ko inyoha ha.
then she replied: coolness uuu

we waited for xmas eve by eating choco coated peanuts while watching snippets from the movie 'my best friends wedding' and "vanity fair" . listen to various artists from vera's collection while the xmas tree keep on sparkling at our back.

i should be at work now. my shift starts at 10pm and its almost midnight but i let the time pass by. what is two hours late compare to more than 20 years of keeping the tradition of spending xmas with your special ones. i might not be at home with my family but at least i am in the company of Vera's sisters, aunts and cousins. somehow i find peace with them.

1:00am, December 25. i hug vera merry xmas before heading towards work.
there might be some missing elements but at least we overcome the emotional turmoil of this supposedly "happy holiday" and have this inner glow within us. glowing with the hope that someday, we fully grasp what's the true meaning of xmas in our lives

1 comment:

veraLeigh said...

hey liyo, salamat nga nalingaw ra ka didto sa amo.

flattered to know that you feel at home tunga-tunga sakong mga ate ug auntie.

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