Tuesday, February 26, 2008

dead ears

i learned how to swim when i was 9 years old. my family just migrated to Bantayan Island at that time. Since i was a city boy by then, i'm so engrossed with the beach. regular exposure to the sea not just turns my skin into dark tan but also i learn how to swim. i first learn how to swim with the "doggie" style, then free style, then later on the chest style. every time i ran out of breath, i simply switch to back stroke position and just float. my buoyancy is so immense that i could float normally as my lungs deflate and expanse on the water. during that moment when my ears are immersed in water and i hardly hear the surrounding due to lack of sound waves (unless there's a dolphin or any sonar relying aquatic animal which uses echolocation nearby). In that sense, it seems my ears are dead.

i could sense that the world is so different when your ears are dead. or the background sounds didn't match what you see. it's like altered empirical sensation. the Japanese deaf/mute girl in the movie "Babylon" snippets appears to my head, as she experience going to a disco club where
partyphile dance like crazy and she saw them as if in a music video which the sound setting turns mute.

floating, the protruded portion of my face feels the shivering breeze, yet my body cradled by the warm water. i could clearly see the vast luminous sky. i could pinpoint some of the astrological constellation and within inches from my perspective, i could see the moon threatened by the dark clouds that are about to swallow her. again, my ears are numb and hear nothing but the murmurs of the sea. if only underwater ipod is invented, i would listen to Bjork's "joga". i darn love that song, it's the first mp3 that i downloaded in my playlist. the saltiness permeated into my skin, filling every skin pores and unto my being. my eyelashes barely fight back the sting, useless unlike the fish without it. it is such time when i feel vulnerable, off the edge, scared yet comforted at the same time. it is a heightened experience when you could drown yourself from reality for a moment. sort of temporary bliss i suppose.

my eyes still wide open, i tried to immerse myself completely into the water until the vision of the moon blurred and my whole self swallowed into complete nothingness. finally, i could hear something clear at this time. 'twas my own heartbeat.

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