French Gypsy Jazz

was invited by Ms. B..
Russ, chai and I tagged along..

The meaning of soup has been lost.

Gabriel Celaya's "The Meaning of Soup"

The meaning of soup has been lost.
Life moves slowly, with a warm, oozing tread,
It smells like river mud, like cows and slow earth.
The woman under a man knows that smell.

An odor as nourishing as good soup,
A nutritious weeping, a few patient days
(Here �s where we eat, drink, breathe, and make love.)

Must I explain? Is there anyone who doesn't know this?
Life is a heavy humus, sweet and black.
It has the heat of the loins and insists on shedding tears.

It �s the dammed up river of the woman we love,
The ripe fruit of exhausted hours,
And a job, a house, an impulse, a routine.

Because all of us live and life is just like that.
It �s not love, or happiness, or ideas, or the future.
It �s just a hot, thick, dirty soup.

(Translated from Spanish by Robert Mezey and Hardie St. Martin)

......................



it's been awhile since the last time i read newspapers---to the extend i really don't have a firm grasp of what's currently happening around me. Last Sunday, Vera brought me to her niche in Jagobiao Mandaue, where ABS-CBN station is located. To my delight, i saw loads or should i say tons of Newspaper dated ranging from this year and way back year 2007. i just miss reading Newspapers specially at the Lifestyle column.

Flipping through the pages it makes me wonder why I doesn't have the same enthusiasm as i had before in the UP library when i once an avid patron. images of triumphs, deaths, failures and successes flash as i flip through the pages. But still, I don't feel any relevance or oneness with what is literary happening around me. I'm wondering if I'm totally encapsulated with my own issues, struggles and my own dreams.

Reading newspapers made me think of sipping a soup without really knowing what it is or what it should have been.. it's like sipping through the obscurity around me.

balak gikan sa usa ka masahista

ihukas muna imong sanina:
ihukas tanan mong kakapoy,
kagoul ug tanang kasakit.
ipa-himotang imong nag-aguroy nga lawas
para ma sinati nimo ang kalinaw

hapa^, dayon ginhawa ug lawom
samtang akong mga tudlo
mo-silhig sa imong panit
diin mulanog ang liboang orchestra
nga nag daguyduy sa imong mga kaugatan.
daw kuwerdas sa matahum nga biyolin
mukatay gikan sa akong kuku
dayon mo'kitiw-kitiw sa imong dugo
hangtud mapadpad sa tumoy sa imong pilok

tang-tangon ko ang pugita
nga ni tuok sa imong tangkugo,
ug ang mga sisi^ nga ni pilit
sa imong mga bukog
aron mahingkawas ka sa kabug-aton sa imong gibati

susihon ko ang matag
grano sa imong buhok
subayon ang matag dagom
nga nahisaag sa imong ulo
mo dapyos akong kumagko
gikan sa imong agtang
moliko agi didto sa likod sa dung'gan
dayon mokanaog sa imong liog
padung ubos sa imong abaga,
padayon ug paubos
paubos,
paubos..

hangtud kalit mupasaka sa aping
sa imong sampot
mukanaog balik sa pa'a,
didto sa batiis
hangtud sa gagmayng tudlo sa imong tiil

hapa^, dayon ginhawa ug lawom
salig sa akong mga tudlo
nga mu-silhig sa imong panit
diin mulanog ang liboang orchestra
nga nag daguyduy sa imong mga kaugatan.
daw kuwerdas sa matahum nga biyolin
mukatay gikan sa akong kuku
dayon mo'kitiw-kitiw sa imong dugo
hangtud mapadpad sa tumoy sa imong pilok

mubangon ko sa hinay-hinay

inig buntag
gusto kong mubangon sa imong tupad
diin akong dughan
nagpahipi
sa imong abaga
gusto kung hinayhinay ug gawas
sa habol ug sa imong akbay
nga maski sa kabog-aton sa imong mga bukton,
dili ko mawad'an ug ginhawa.

mubangon ko sa hinay-hinay
aron ang imong pag-hagok magpa-dayon
ug kalit modapyos kining mga hamis kung batiis
sa imong balbon nga paa
hangtud nga mahinkawas ko sa imong
nagpahulay nga lawas.

inig buntag
gusto kong mubangon sa imong tupad
susama sa usa ka liso
nga nalubong sa yagmok nga yuta
kalit nabis-bisan
kalit na-initan
mutorok, mutobo ug mamuwak

mubangon ko sa hinay-hinay
aron masinati ko ang puro nga pagkakaron
usa ka matang dili naku ma-kumkum
diin ang kagahapon gilamoy ang kaugmaon
kay ang tanang kasanatian
usa ka pagdumdum na lamang

fine, mark me absent then. I'm going home.

one thing that i despise most is setting a wrong expectation. my shift supposedly starts at 4am, however for some reason it was slided to 2:30 am without me being informed the previous day.

on my way to log in to my station, i was still confident that i got a lot of time for me to pull up my tools, since i still have 30mins before my supposed schedule. But the moment i opened my quick comm page, three of my DevSpecs bombarded me with their rantings.
......................

DevSpec1: Liyo, you are too early for tomorrow's shift

Liyo: we have our shift starts at 4am right?

DevSpec1: noh? it started at 2:30am

Liyo: i didn't know that there is a schedule change, if there is then it was not well/properly announced. i can't blame myself if I'm late in the production if i was not informed about the changes.

DevSpec1: you're always been late all throughout this week
(she's wrong i was late for this week only once)

DevSpec2: So it was our fault?!

DevSpec2: How come your teammates able to know it..and logged in on time

Liyo: first, i'm not them. second, i didn't received any cascade about the sudden change of schedule. i was even here as early as 00:15 midnight but nobody dared inform me about the schedule change. So don't tell me i just wasted my time waiting at the pantry and any cafeteria around instead of working my ass off on the floor.

DevSpec3: That is still not excuse.

Liyo: fine, mark me absent then. I'm going home.
(exited from quick comm page and walked out)

.........................
for me, the fact that i am officially late is alright, i can accept that. even though my DevSpecs, my TL, our Production Head failed to do their task on informing everyone of us. (aside from their claim that everyone was informed, but in fact there are three of us who was not informed so I'm not the only one whose late and they put it all on me.) Moreover the way they treated me on the communication page where our interaction is in the midst of my whole teammates is so improper and unprofessional. they make me feel so small, and i don't like that. they should have called my attention and talk about it in a one-on-one discussion. they should have allowed me start my daily task and give me proper sanction afterwards.

for that i shrug it all off and curse the hell out of them.

i really have this urge to scream and diffuse whatever disappointment i felt. so i hurriedly ran my way out the office and made my way home to my room. On my way, the urge to go to a beach consumed me. I went to the south bus terminal with only limited cash in my wallet and took the first bus which roared off.

That bus is heading towards Barili.

humana ba ang kuwaresma?

humana ba ang kuwaresma?
humana ba ang kainit sa udtong tutuk
nga ni silaw
diha sa kahitas-an
niining baybayon
diin nangaliki
ang mga patay
nga kinhason

humana ba ang kuwaresma?
humana ba ang imong
sekretong pagtukaw
sa katuyuang lawasnon
sa dihang ang atong mga lawas
niligid sa lapok sa biga

nawagtang na ba
ang kusog sa imong mga braso
sa pag'gakos kanaku
susama sa mga sanga
nga dili na maka-kumkum
sa mga layang dahon
nga kini hagbay ra nga nangapalid
ug nikunsad daplin sa ugat
ni'anang kahoya.

nahupas na ba ang akong kahumot,
dili ka na ba musampit ug:
"purya pungag"
tungod sa pag-ulbo
sa akong karaang katahum
susama sa mga buwak
sa flores de Mayo

natapos na ba ang tanan
nahanaw na ba ang kainit
sa imong pagbati
aron lamang kanaku?
wala ka na bay laing katuyuan
kundi sa pag-pu'pu sa akong mga udlot
dayon nilabay ka human,
kalit gibiyaan ako nga nalawos.

completed

it's just like fulfilling a mission, it has to be done.

mag patag'na ka?

The idea of interpreting past, present and future is so divine that no mere mortal can do it. But i wonder what differentiate us from the divine and the mere mortal? Nothing but an obscured classification. So here we are, after the XO? meeting for an upcoming art performance, we had tarot reading session at turtle's.