Friday, October 31, 2008

basag balak sa pag kalag-kalag

....did attend Bathalad's "basag-balak" in Golden Haven (the night before All Soul's day) and recited one of my cebuano poem:

alang kanimo

ako nang gihalad ang akong kasing-kasing

akong gihimbisan
gi kuwaan ug hasang
ug gibukyad
sa kainit
dihang ni evapora
ang pisik sa dugo
nga ni kurog
dungan sa paghilak ning akong dughan

ni kinang sa akong mga mata
ang unod nga ni sayaw
sa matag hapak sa kasilaw sa adlaw
sa dihang kini ni kuyos
ug nauga dungan sa pagtaghoy
sa akong kaguol

sakto ra ba sa kaparat?
sakto raba pagka-uga?
sakto na ba ang timbang
sa kabug-aton sa akong gibate
aron matagad mo kini akong gidalit
para lang kanimo

sakto na ba akong gibuhat aron ka makahibaw
nga sa hagbay na panahon
ako: magpabiling mo-alagad kanimo
nga ako: hangtud sa hangtud mo dangup kanimo
apan dili pa kini sakto
aron mo angay sa imong garbo

busa, ipabilin ko kining akong kasing-kasing
nga gabukyad sa mga matang na walay katin'awan
nag-uga sa gugma nga walay klaro
apan tuskig sa pagbati
alang kanimo

Sunday, October 26, 2008

dark murky waters

I shiver with a slightest breeze, I hesitate to dip in but the sea is too inviting to resist. I dock into the water level to keep me warm with its placidity, then Chai and I help Ms. Bambi, as she pull the found banka to a mystery lush of mangroves.

I recognized Ms. Bambi's profile with the sliver of the moonbeam on her profile as well as the glistening of her hair as it cut through the water. she seems to be a sea nymph guiding us to a secret place. we get into the thicket of mangroves until we reach a clearing. it's like an oval track only that it’s surrounded with trees rooted into the dark waters.. It’s eerie and marvelous at the same time. it's like a scene grabbed from a mythical book of Tolkien. we reach the epicenter and saw the shy moon uncloak herself at last. she is our main audience as we swam into the warm dimly lighted yet sparkling water.

then we continue to wade through unknown territories, stepping our feet into slithering roots and muddy sands. while Ms. Bambi, our sea nymph guide, tied the rope around a flimsy branch and we try to hide our identity from the guarding trees. from its roots, there dwell invisible organisms. we could only see them once we try to wave our hands under water and see neon lights illuminated through the dark. I know this is real. Chai and Russ already saw these zooplanktons and they are for real.

my fascination swallowed the moon. I can't contain myself on seeing those tiny lights filtered by a liquid matter to the extent I plunge into the dark water, opening my eyes to see those neon lights crash into my face even though I feel my eyes searing with pain. Defying my bodily instincts, i keep on looking on those neon lights as i forget how to breath until my lungs were filled with murky waters.


-originally posted and edited from this entry...

French Gypsy Jazz

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

ako, usa ka ballerina

kininto nga sayaw
sa imong atubangan;
ako, mo kiay

ilabyog ko kining akong haw'ang nga lawas
ubay sa imong gitara,
tuod motuno ang kapaspas sa akong ginhawa
sa kasikas sa kwerdas

ang kahapdos ug kasakit
gipadayag sa akong mga kamot
nga gawara-wara
ug mulatay sa alambre sa kinabuhi
kining akong mga lapa-lapa

kininto nga sayaw
sa imong atubangan;
ako, mo kiay-kiay
motuyok dayon kog kalit
dungan sa kalibog sa hangin
nya ipalupad ko kining
akong mga bukton
sa imong gihong-hong na sonata

modagan ko diha sa imong dalan
aron masilhig ko ang linghot
sa imong niaging mga adlaw
ug taliwala sa imong kabalaka o kaguol,
mabaling tika sa akong itum na tutu^
nya pag dayon human,
kining akong tiil; akong ibusdak,
resulta sa atong pagkabungkag.

alang sa usa ka barista

aduna koy naibgan nga usa ka barista
inig dominggo sa gabii, didto sa kapehan---
sa iyang atubangan, ako magpa-atbang

gaaso nga tasa, ako gakiti-kiti
katamis sa dihang itunol na nya akong sukli

ambot kung ngano mukirig
kining akong mga ngabil
wla man unta ko mapaso
o diba gayam'yam
(tungod sa way katulog paghandum kaniya)
basta sa iyang kape,
kanunay kong ma-kilig!

susama sa crema ug asukar
ako daw motuyok ug mahilis
sa dihang malumos naku sa iyang radar

maski dili pako niya piskan
magpabilin kanang iyang dagway:
usa ka mantsa dinhi sa akong alimpatakan

gaaso nga tasa, ako gakiti-kiti
katamis sa dihang itunol na nya akong sukli
apan imnon ko ang kapait sa akong pagbati

kay sa pag-pauli,
muhapdos nasad ni akong dughan
kay kaybaw ko nga dili gyud naku siya makahiuban

Sunday, October 19, 2008

breath

one of these days,

please let me breath.

photo: taken from one of XO? art performance in outpost

Saturday, October 18, 2008

pag-inusara

dinhi sa dagat
akong i-tuslob kining akong mga mata
paningkamotan ko nga dili mamilok
hangtud aduna koy makita

naglibog naman gud ko
naglisod nakug sabot sa mga panghitabo
aduna koy mga pangutana
nga sa hagbay nga panahon
nipilit ug halos dili matangtang
susama sa pugita

susihon ko kining kalawmon
utngon ko kining kaparat
hangtud aduna nay katin-awan.

dinhi sa dagat
akong i-tuslob kining akong mga mata
paningkamotan ko nga dili mamilok
sawmon ko ang tubig sa akong pag-inusara
hangtud makit-an tika

salamat

gusto ko mopahiyom
sa mga gagmayng matang
nga imong gidalit---para lang kanaku.

gusto ko mopahiyom
sa matag adlaw nga ikaw
masakitan---tungod lang sa akong kaboang

sa imong puro nga pagmahal
ug sa chocolate nga Ghirardelli

wala naku'y laing masulti pa

gapas


sa kanunay nga imung adlaw mulakaw
magpabilin kining akong anino, ga'barog
tiil ug kamot gabawog---
ang dagway nagtutok sa salog


pila pa ka gabii ang akong lamyon
aron masinati ko balik ang imong katahum
pila ka dupa kalay-a
kung diin asa ka.


dungan sa mga aninipot,
akong mga tudlo nag pundok
nagsabwag kini sa mga gagmayng gapas
nga unta, dungan sa akong panalangin
mulupad ug maanod kini
ngadto sa imong panganod

Friday, October 10, 2008

Napalid

naupos na ang sigarilyo
nga imong gi halokan
napapas na ang aso
nga niligid sa imong panan-awan

ako: molayag ug dili mo na makit-an
patuyokon ko kini akong palabad
gamit imong tayhop

susama sa abo gikan sa imong tabacco
ako: napalid ug nagpabiling gingkalimtan

September

yes, its undeniably the BER months.. it's gonna be cold, wet and slippery from our heart all the way to our feet but hopefully we will randomly bump to eachother, whatever circumstances we might gonna be under...

-a snippet from an email; addressed to agent banshee rabidcat, agent chocolate thundah and agent loudmouth virginamazon.

September 1-3

-struggling moments.. sigeg pangutang here and there
-but never asked help from my parents, call it pride or "prinsipyo" but i can't stomach becoming dependent to them
-keeping myself assured, i always tell to myself: "mahingkawas ra ko ani"
-its hard for me to sleep at night, i find myself walking along talamban area at midnight

September 5

-we had our last day of training with ann.my wave mates and i have a salo2x at the pantry
-i got the highest score with all of my assessments
-giggle with Jean, my new found friend here in the site
-we tell each other stories, we are now sort of bonded
-she call me bitch while i call her slut...and we call our wave mates as old farts---then we laugh it all off!

September 6

-harren and i had a long talk by the porch as i waited for chai and russ to arrive. we talked about our hometown (Gen San; Bantayan Is) and first heart aches.
-dance with chai at the balcony as we sang bjork's "possibly maybe"
-russ bought a stick of cig and the three of us take turns of puffing from it as we shared the cruelty of life
-nevertheless, we are still happy.
-the three of us eventually went to Paseo. We found there's no place for us there, we proceed to Mango.same case. we ride a cab home without saying a word. all of us were spacing out.

September 7

-it's a rainy sunday and i don't want to rot in my room all by myself. gone to russ' place and we had movie marathon. we watched these videos:

*monster's ball
*love actually
*wrist cutters

-the night grown deeper, russ and i have a long walk along banawa road.
-he had his dinner and after that we log-in to a "slut machine" and tried our luck. unfortunately, we went home saying: "way swerte!---but maybe one day we might grab the jackpot"
(you know what i'm pertaining about--so go figure it out)

September 8

-Julio visited me in my flat. He brought with him some goodies/pasalubong from the states (chocolates, canned goods, imported soaps, shirt and a hand bag)
-well, I'm grateful with my in-laws.. hehe

September 10

-my eternal crush' birthday
-republished "ode to the celebrant" in memory of him
-comfort myself with Julio's chocolates

September 16

-had my Berlitz Testing alone in a barren training room
-its quite strange talking with a stranger assessing your language proficiency over the phone. i wish we converse in German or in Spanish
-had a very long day and decided to go to Banawa to unwind. but there's nobody around. I only find sylvester (chai's cat) and kinshasha (a half labrador pup). i played with them for some time and rub their tummy before i left.
-i check my blogspot and i feel guilty with julio's message in my cbox that says: "how come?" (in response to my "august" post)

September 17

-I'm glad my last pay in my prev company is ready and could be released this friday!
-i hope its more than my expected amount
-can't wait for this financial breakthrough

September 19

-finally, i already claimed my last pay.
-and i can't help but overwhelmed with the amount since its much way too higher than i expected
-able to pay all of my dues: 3 months worth of bhaws rent, utang sa mga tao nya gilukat akong cellphone and set aside some emergency cash
-finally, nahingkawas na gyud tawn ko.

September 20

-early morn, i woke up with a weird dream***

-thanks for my long overdue "last pay" from my previous company, nahingkawas ko sa almost two months of financial coma (for being broke made me bedridden---literally!). -Then i became a heroine for "sylvester" from the treacherous hands of russ since i chose to be in banawa and watched elvis Presley (with a friend and villain) over staying in Casa EscaƱo in the midst of literary snubs (although it could have been with a friend) it just that I'm much comfortable with the former one. -Chai is in Davao, though she was with us in spirit, Vera, Russ and I bond over a set of beer. of which scenario led to vera's drunkenness and russ' sudden urge for women. haha


September 22

-27th monthsary namo ni Julio
-and i can remember how we spend the day by what we spent:

*280 two movie tickets "for the first time"
*80 munch
*100 bread talk
*90 dinner
*0.0 special bond

September 23

-processed my 1st ever health card in City Health
-also processed NBI clearance for passport
-tungod sa kainit ug nag-apas sa oras, nadakpan noon ko sa CITOM
-after few minutes of discourse, I'm able to win the officer's heart and let me go (phew! I'm spared for staying in a correction bus for 2 hours or paying the penalty fee)
-had a coffee moments with chai in JY
-she have for me a pasalubong from Cagayan
-i also able to pay her the 1000 pesos that i owe from her

September 26

-continuing a long kept tradition, i watched Cinema Europa
-able to watched "Children of the Moon" (Germany) and "Beauty in Trouble" (Czech Republic)

September 27

-the empress of Cheshire Cat's Birthday
-greet her first thing in the morning
-2nd day for the Cinema Europa Marathon, but unable to come over since we have an upcoming performance this day
-so instead of watching somebody else's fictitious life, Russ, Chai and I had our life's moments in Turtle's Nest where we had our performance night

September 28

-with Julio, we attend the last leg of Cinema Europa film festival this year
-we watched two movies: "Late bloomer" and "Vitus" both movies are from Switzerland

September 29-30

-in my room, reading a novel and smoking

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