Monday, February 22, 2010


ug karon
sa alas kuatro sa kadlawon
ako nang gihinay hinay
ug paksi kining
akong panit
akong huboon
atubangan niining ga kamang nga adlaw
ang mga matang sa kagahapon,

gusto naku
mawagtang ang masulob-on kung dagway
gusto naku
mawagtang, ang mga uwat
nga ni patik sa akong lawas
kiskison ko kini pagpamaayo
kiskison maskin manghubag
kiskison hangtud magdugo
kay dugay ko na kining gimbitbit
ug gikapoy nako
aning mga patik
nga sigeg pangablit
sa kagahapon
nga nikitkit
sa akong panit
sa hinugdan nga
ako ga ping-it
sa pagpanamilit

dungan sa mga nangapalong
nga bituon sa kabontagon
hinaot, ako, musinaw

Friday, February 19, 2010

check, check, mic check..

when an apprehensive speaker or a singer is about to say
something on a microphone, a mandatory mic test has to be
done. when you are part of the audience, somehow this banal
gesture would set the environ to be attentive.

somehow, i also need that attention, now.

it's been ages ago since i write something about my state of being.
one of the many many reasons for that (aside from
being lazy and a big procrastinator) is being constantly
preoccupied. there was so many events, from one happening to
another. i got a space for a break though (usually on my smoke break), wherein i could
reflect about what had transpired and write something about
it but as soon as i touch the keyboards, it soon fade out

just like a wisp of smoke vanished into thin air..

that's the reason i usually post pictures instead as it will
just speak to itself and bring back memories which are
hiding at the dark corners of my head. first i had my micro journal then i created this blog
to let me be reminded of things of the past as i'm such a
forgetful person, also to inform my closed friends how am i doing..
thus the purpose of semi personal blog has
been stabbed in this site in the first place.

recently, I keep on rereading my old posts and it makes me
miss writing this kind of blog entry.

I've been here in Cebu as soon as my cognitive response
evaded my senses. although me and my family migrated from
one city to town to another city and another town until my
folks settled to Bantayan Island way back i was in my 3rd
grade. since then, i don't have any long time childhood friends as
we keep on migrating. maybe that's the reason why i love to
be left alone and commune with the constant things around
me, e.g. my dog (my late dog named Sherlock) and my marine
fish pets. i also love spending time by the shores and
spending my afternoon at the nearby lighthouse from our
house just to watch the sun set.

now, im back here in a small city called Cebu and i can't help but to feel so
ancient. i've really seen the city outgrew me as several
buildings spurt out just like mushrooms anywhere i stayed. i
once remembered a certain lot in asiatown IT park that some
2x2 coco lumber were set as a marker from that construction
site, then came the heavy equipment, followed by tons of
metals and cement then a gigantic building is looking at me
like a human to an ant.

to be honest, i've been staying here for so long to the
extend i have this inkling to move out. but i so damn love
this place and this keeps me from going anywhere. people
whom i love to be with are also based here and might be
sharing the same sentiments i have that they decided just to
stay as this is already a better place.

some had already set their anchor and some, just like me, they still bearing it with at our own
sailing boats. Cebu, mind you, is very viable to set your anchor. i wish i could have that notion be plastered on my mind. but no, i'm already saturated with the place and i already made
up my mind, to sail on.

i'm leaving around April, and if it's not for a better
at least it’s for good to my ever wanderlust soul.
the need for a change and new stimuli is always within me,
a craving animal that feast into fresh blood. it might cost me
a lot but at least will give it a shot.

who knows where this turning point will lead me to?
just maybe, it might be, a hermit can say

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Dauin, revisited

last night, Russ and I went to Dumaguete for a mission:

to surprise Vera with our ambush visit

Little did we know, she was heading for cebu for a field reporting at the very same time our ferry boat lumbered its way to Dumaguete.
our paths would have intersected in the middle of the sea. unfortunately (or not) Vera and her camera man missed their ship.

so we celebrated valentine's and chinese new year together here in Dumaguete.

she still has to go through with their task, so she left us around dawn. leaving me and russ with her man, Thomas.

We then spent our day at Dauin where we drifted along the current.

sunrise at Dauin,

on a valentine's day and chinese new year.. with russ and thomas

Friday, February 12, 2010

sail on, McQueen

It dawn on me now. At first I thought it's just a misnomer or hearsay. But

Yeah, Alexander McQueen is dead.

I received the news from a friend through text on the day itself (February 11
2010) so I went online and googled about it. Positive. And just the following
day, I searched it again and it's officially declared that he's gone. He
might don't want the world (specially the art/fashion world) to be saddened to
his passing, he might really want it in the first place, to die in the midst
of the pinnacle of his career or whatever reason he kept in his heart that
motivates him to turn himself off. but the whole thing doesn't guarantee for
most of the people to be indifferent, cause to put it simply, it was totally

for me It's quite depressing, depressing to the extent it makes me angry. I
got three people in my list that I want to see before I die. First, in the
field of music, is Bork. second, in the field of literary would be Haruki
Murakami. And for Fashion/Visual art, it's Alexander McQueen. I even put it
on my profile in Friendster way way years ago. But McQueen is gone. So this
makes me darn frustrated. was even dreaming to become one of his backstage
crew (again, a wishful thinking).

My fascination about him started in my early high school. when I flip through
fashion magazine and mesmerized not with his styling but the concept behind
his collection. and here comes YouTube and ftv. then came his official
website ( where I keep on playing Kate Moss swirled
on McQueen's Hologram finale. and unlike Kate, he didn't went out into
obscurity, instead, just in a blink. he's out of the scene.

that keep's me hanging. I feel like riding a Ferris wheel but the whole
machinery gone into full halt when it reaches halfway to the top.
no. no.. no please.. no... those are the words that I keep on muttering when
I knew about this. granules of time is flowing by and I hate the fact that I
don't have the power to just pinch some that I really want, then rub it
between my thumb and my point finger, to feel it,

even just for quick moment.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

lemme breath

taken by yours truly

taken by julio soriano


Tuesday, February 09, 2010

in silence

"So that's how we live our lives.
No matter how deep and fatal the loss,
no matter how important the thing that's stolen from us
--that's snatched right out of our hands
--even if we are left completely changed,
with only the outer layer of skin from before,
we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence.
We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time,
bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly,
the endless deeds of the everyday.
Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness."

- Haruki Murakami
(Sputnik Sweetheart)

Sunday, February 07, 2010

go, make a wish

can you still remember your childhood wish?

Friday, February 05, 2010

all across seven seas

i don't know

if it's necessary for me to travel all seven seas, but i know he's right there,


waiting just for me..

as much as i'm waiting for him..

Thursday, February 04, 2010

ok,lemme start this way

i'm always
and always be:
at the loser's end.
i must admit that
i keep on dating men
not from this town,

and i have this tendency
to get attached, deeply, and knowing
that they are not staying
here will always end me up:

at lost

like a dead satellite,
drifting, getting lost in my own vacuity
an empty shell,
hallow as a dried up well

so, here u are,
giving ur number.
that's all i need to know, man
cause, after ur stay,
communication or whatsoever future
circumstances between us
will eventually fade away
so letting me know
that this number is temporary
as ur based from the other side of the world
is downright

no offense meant,
just trying to save myself
from further pain.

i hope u get my point from here..

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

sa inig takdol sa buwan,

akong anino gagukod dagan diha kanimo..

Monday, February 01, 2010

like a dead satellite

drifting, getting lost in my own vacuity..

CCP, here we come!

this is CCP, shot this 5 years ago, just passed by when i had my designing debut in PICC Manila.
I said to myself that one day i will be there, inside, performing.

and now, together with team balite..
under the directorial debut of Ms. Bambi Beltran
with her short film: Agokoy, Agokoy, Ugma na ta mag Asoy (a cebuano riddle for DREAM)
will be featured for both full length and short film category for “Cinema Rehiyon: Alter Nativo (Films From The Other Philippines)” w/c will be held later this month in CCP.

It's quite surreal and cynical as it is, as i've never thought my crazy collaboration with the film would bring me this far. which for me, is totally AWESOME..

like, HELL YEAH!

I would really wanna go, and i would really make it a point that i'll be there when the film hit the big screen in CCP. I'm crossing my fingers and my legs for us (the film crew and cast) to be there when it happens.

So yun, mag tatagaleg nanaman ako.. haha
kasi, pang totohanan na talaga to eh.. lol

anyway, i must tell you that it's already a heart warming experience when we had our production in Olango for a weekend, let alone heading to Manila for the main event.

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