Thursday, July 28, 2011

ang sekreto sa pangutana

aduna pa?
aduna ka pay nakit-an sa imong pag laroy laroy
sa kalasangan
diin imong gipakatulog
ang imong mga sekreto?

nahikit-an ba?
kung nahikit-an, nahinumduman pa ba?
o nakit-an kining mga sekreto, pero
sa kalimut?

nawala ang imong kinahanglan
unya kinahanglan nimo ang imong nawala
unsa pa may laing nagpabilin?
ang mga pangutana
kung kanus-a kini ma tubag?
o ang mga tubag, nga kinhanglan pa ug sumpay-sumpay
nga pangutana?

Unsa pa may laing nagpabilin
Nga dapat nimo isulti kanako?


Monday, July 18, 2011

i've been standing still
across your window
standing still
amongst empty tables
you from afar
you keep on shining
here I am
gathering mist upon my weathered eye
they clump up, build up
into purple clouds


Sunday, July 17, 2011

passing by the red light district

greys and i planned to watch the Eiga Sai 2011 entry Departures together. we went to Shangrila an hour early to watch the 11:30am schedule only to find out that it's already fully booked and the chance viewers queue is a mile long. good thing there's another schedule but it will be at 9:30pm! so how should we kill the 10 hours in between?

so the mission began. operation kill the boredom.

I introduce greys to bibinkinitan. my favorite stall in Shang where we had a bibinka and kape barako. talk talk talk with our obscure love affairs over smoke. then we went strolling to SM mega mall gallery where we passed by with this art exhibit. i forgot the name of the artist but i can still remember the theme: Red Light District

the huge scale post modernism paintings and kinky installations sparked our curiousity to come inside. we had a quick chat with the curator and we were supposedly invited for the opening then have some cocktails with the artist but we are running out of time for the Japanese film fest screening.

with some luck and over stretched patience, we were able to get prime seats and watched the award winning Japanese film on the big screen.

photos by Greys Compuesto


Thursday, July 14, 2011

it’s all about the motion

then at the perfect time,
it’s all about transformation,
may it be from within.
but then,
there’s a need for migration.
just like the birds from Siberia
they’ve got to land in a warmer terrain
may it be by bus,
by ship
or by plane.
all of us are
leaning towards the flyway
being transported from one place to another.
the science of inventing and reinventing oneself.
It’s a motion,
leaning towards

photo taken at Ms. Bambi's place in Olango
make up done by Mecca

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

are you still there, mr. einstein?

cause and effect might have become erratic
the lineage of time might have lost its mind
a universe that coincides within a universe
simple as a pebble washed within the river of happenstance
our fates might have crossed in a much different way
but just like a pendulum of a clock
left hanging in mid air
time this time becomes viscous
an impending crime
swimming against the current
a salmon heading to its birth place to die
was it in a dream
that you were what I’m dreaming of?
then that time,
that universe,
is ours to find.


Monday, July 11, 2011

I may die tragically or may die peacefully, but when I die, I want to die beautifully.

It’s through a radio station when I heard this song about dying beautifully. In my mind, I was thinking of a girl walking passed through EDSA and all of a sudden was hit by a speeding Subaru in a tessa prieto valdes ensemble and she swivel into a vogue like pose to her death. Hmm, that would be beautiful. However there might be something more of “living” to consider, to project a significant contrast for dying.

So it coined the question: how to die beautifully? In a universal perspective of something close to beauty: love, dying beautifully would be having a lover’s embrace, a child’s “thank you” or a best friend’s farewell before someone’s last breath could make that death more satisfactory. But when fate is cruel and the shadow of death cast upon someone, just like an unexpected thief in the night, how could anybody make that first and final moment a meaningful one?

Excuse me with this grim topic. You may exit now but if you must, please do go on.

There is this premonition by my close friends that I will die in a car crash. Although I may die differently. May it be drowning, bleeding, suffocating. Or let say by bombing, in an earthquake or tidal wave, or it could be as simple as to die in my sleep. But the thing is I will still die, sooner or later, as everyone else will also die. Although I would like to hate or fear the idea of my impending death but as early as possible I already told myself to accept it as a part of one’s journey. A pit stop of an itinerary.

So to die beautifully, my idea would be this: While I’m still alive, I would do all the drama, the love and the hate that one should feel. It’s a generic story that everyone is having. It’s the same plot in a different location, different language, different people but same topic: live life. Certainly in tears, in laughter, in rage, in passion, tah teh tah tah. And the moment I die, I would care less how it goes. Even if there’s a cinematic vision of seeing pages of my history flashing to me in a nick of time. I would learn to embrace it just like a long lost friend.

Bravery aside, I could see death now not as an ending. But as a new beginning of something else.


Wednesday, July 06, 2011


It dawned on me that I’ve come a long long way in earning myself a living.

I’m too shy to ask from my mother for my daily allowance when I’m still a grade-schooler. I’m aware that my father is working abroad and his salary is more than enough for our family’s monthly expenses but the act of "asking" made me uncomfortable. I have 4 siblings and my mother is way too busy to notice each of our individual needs. So I tend to manage by my own just to get by.

I was in grade three when one morning, I went to the neighbouring bakery and I found four 20 pesos bill on a road. It was like a childish dream picking up money in nowhere. but I already know that I’m having a huge amount of money (at that time) half of it I bought something I can’t remember, and the remaining 40 pesos I bought 2 packs of fruitos. I sell candies to my classmates. As my capital increased, I also sell other kind of candies. I’m a business boy at a tender age of 9!

Since then I don’t ask for baon (and I can’t remember my mama give me some as again, she’s this too busy a housewife) I don’t know when my career as a candy peddler lasts. But when I reached high school, of course I should have my allowance. But I save some of it for my hobbies. I usually buy magazines and sometimes go to the mall for computer games. But I usually do Cross-stitching. lol. I was even featured in a local cable network for anchor threads (although I usually use DMC threads on my work) and was able to sell some of my works to one of our teacher who liked my craft. Then in college, as a self supporting student (as reality bites) I’ve been into varied part time jobs. Some time it’s for the experience and connections but sometimes it’s for the money. So I could buy things that I like and for my daily fare. Those jobs include: summer art workshop facilitator, An exhibit curator, A children saver’s club usherer, choreographer for an end of the year school program, backdrop designer, being a masseur, personal tutor (math! As in Algebra, no kidding!), fashion accessories designer/ consultant, art teacher in an international school and recently I’ve become a payroll software specialist, then as a billing analyst and now, I’m working in a collections dept. my gehd! Imagine how many people, companies, buildings and kilometres I’ve been through until I’ve reached my desk and write this?

I’ve been dreaming of working in a place/town/country for 6 months then transfer to another to explore different places and different people. I’ve done that a couple of times. In fact, right this moment, I felt I’m long overdue with my current job as I’m staying in the company for almost 3 years now (although half of it spent in cebu, and now I’m here in manila). One of the reason why I overstayed is mainly because of the no frizz nature of the job yet above average wage. And my yearly appraisal is too good to decline.

But still my mission is on. So hopefully by early next year, I will venture to a different country. Or else, I’ll stagnate. Life is too short and there’s so much to discover. Aside of calling it a mean of income (sic), money is not what I’m after all this time. It’s all about the experience.


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