Monday, July 11, 2011

I may die tragically or may die peacefully, but when I die, I want to die beautifully.

It’s through a radio station when I heard this song about dying beautifully. In my mind, I was thinking of a girl walking passed through EDSA and all of a sudden was hit by a speeding Subaru in a tessa prieto valdes ensemble and she swivel into a vogue like pose to her death. Hmm, that would be beautiful. However there might be something more of “living” to consider, to project a significant contrast for dying.

So it coined the question: how to die beautifully? In a universal perspective of something close to beauty: love, dying beautifully would be having a lover’s embrace, a child’s “thank you” or a best friend’s farewell before someone’s last breath could make that death more satisfactory. But when fate is cruel and the shadow of death cast upon someone, just like an unexpected thief in the night, how could anybody make that first and final moment a meaningful one?

Excuse me with this grim topic. You may exit now but if you must, please do go on.

There is this premonition by my close friends that I will die in a car crash. Although I may die differently. May it be drowning, bleeding, suffocating. Or let say by bombing, in an earthquake or tidal wave, or it could be as simple as to die in my sleep. But the thing is I will still die, sooner or later, as everyone else will also die. Although I would like to hate or fear the idea of my impending death but as early as possible I already told myself to accept it as a part of one’s journey. A pit stop of an itinerary.

So to die beautifully, my idea would be this: While I’m still alive, I would do all the drama, the love and the hate that one should feel. It’s a generic story that everyone is having. It’s the same plot in a different location, different language, different people but same topic: live life. Certainly in tears, in laughter, in rage, in passion, tah teh tah tah. And the moment I die, I would care less how it goes. Even if there’s a cinematic vision of seeing pages of my history flashing to me in a nick of time. I would learn to embrace it just like a long lost friend.

Bravery aside, I could see death now not as an ending. But as a new beginning of something else.


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