Tuesday, October 08, 2013

I'm tired and I want to go to bed

i 'm experiencing this some kind of reflective curse.

not so sure how to expound it but here are some cases in point: i have this friend who got a breakout and the very next day, i found a huge zit on my face. one time a friend got his phone snatched in the MRT, then days later mine was snatched in a bus. it goes on and on, to the extend i got this paranoia. or might just too absurd to think like this, an invitational karma.

there's an indicator that it will happen to me, it's not a one instance occurrence,  but it has to be in a repetitive pattern. like if a friend got this malady, then the other friend got the same case, then usually I'm the 3rd victim. i hope it wont level up into a "final destiny" tragedy, that's way too terrible.

recently, my best friend got this problem with sleeping, he might still adjusting with his work sched, then i also have this office mate who has an ongoing sleeping problem as well, one worst scenario is she haven't slept for more than 48 hours. she confided me all the details so i get into what she's going through. aside from her closed friends, i'm the only one in the office know about it. i always advise her to do this and take this, but to no avail. to the extend she has to consult a specialist or a doctor.

then guess what? i got this insomnia. it struck me calmly as an overcast conquered a clear sky.

it started yesterday, Monday. i'm suppose to get out from work at 1am, but monday blues got into me and i ditch work 1 hour earlier, ran out from my bosses and colleagues and  i said i just wanna sleep. usually i sleep around 4am and wake up around 12 noon, i always have this amanda griffin beauty rest principle of 7-8 hours of sleep, which i could normally attained, lesser than that is like no sleep at all.

my phone clock shows 2am, i already had dinner, had a cup of tea and took shower, my usual routine before heading to sleep. i think everyone of us have this early stages of sleep that you reflects what transpired that day or whatever recurrences from a certain era of the past. then those visual episodes interconnects with people, faces, some words some emotional attachments and whatsoever personal details that summarized your life. but sometimes, this stage which in my case, should only take around 30 minutes the most, more than that, it causes me to toss and turn to restlessness.


after roughly 4 hours of dreamless sleep i was wide awake. in my head, i should go back to sleep, but come 6:30 then 7.00am i'm still struggling back to the 1st cyclic stage of sleeping. it worries me cause i still have work later but in a way, it makes me revisit the things i've been through and haven't done lately. so i gave up and surrender the idea of sleeping the amanda griffin way, had coffee in the early morn, grab hot pandesal and bask myself in that early morning sunshine, mygehd! i miss that, it's weird because even here in the Philippines, tropical country as it is, i think very few  can enjoy early morning sunshine and consume the vitamin D and vitality it could bring. most people are still asleep from graveyard shift or hurrying up to the  offices, they cannot spend 30 mins or more sitting lazily by the porch having coffee or smoke and feeling the warmth of the sun on their skin and say hey, im having early morning sunshine?!

so there, i don't know if i could still consider it as a reflective curse, but i hope i could pass by some friends who will beam that they just had 8 hours undisturbed sleep.

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