my_hotmug

have I been to that place?

2012-02-03T19:34:00.005+08:00

I’m staying for more than one and half years now in UP Bliss, which is just few mins away from Diliman area but i found myself dumbfounded when someone asked me: have you tried Chocolate Kiss? Have you been to Rodic's? How about having mang Larry's isaw?

Like, huh? I have no idea.

Aside from UP ikot and the clusters of campuses, I’ve never been “really around” UP Diliman. So I’m half annoyed half curious why the hell am I not able to explore those places in the first place? Maybe because I usually go to UP to jog and eating around is not my priority but not necessarily at the very least of my interests. I usually jog early in the morning or late in the evening so these establishments may not yet open so I failed to check on them. Or to simply put, I’m just too ignorant.

Going back to my kind of UP in Cebu, it would take more or less 5 the size of it to be compared to the area of UP Diliman. So we don’t have the Shopping area and the Bahay ng Alumni etc. I was thinking those famous eateries or diners could be liken to our notable landmarks such as “brown gate” “comeda”.. “shobee”

So pardon me if I need to rest my case to first hand information. As these are not the things that I need to search in a website just to be “knowledgeable”. For me, I’m contented being “familiar” and just surprise me if there’s something more to it.

so last weekend, that surprise hit me like a ten ton truck. Francis brought me to a restaurant in UP Dil but it was already closed, so we went to a place nearby, and it so happen the name of the place is Chocolate Kiss . Although I was kinda awkward and cannot talk to him that day, my mind brought me to a series of realization that gawd, this is the place that had bugged me for all these times! The place is not that grand, it could be any run of the mill diner but what struck me is that they got a grand piano and sort of a fine dining yet laid back ambience. I said in my mind: this is nice.

Had dinner and coffee with him that night. But I’m already certain I will go back there all by myself or with a friend and have coffee while the sun is setting down outside the window. Hopefully the pianist would still be around by then.

gemini

2012-02-02T16:24:00.001+08:00

oh, it was such a waste of time
still longing for you to think of me
as what I think of you
thinking, soon, you’ll be mine
quando quando

two sided, two faced
vicious twins, you are
now I rumble
now I fumble
now I tumble
to this confusion on where we heading
a muddy affair
running towards the bushes
a kiss, a cuddle
how soon would it last?
how soon would you change your mind?

a dream, a chance, a possibility,
a cup of coffee, a cloudy day
whirling into the mire

x

how long does it take?

2012-02-01T17:20:00.002+08:00

to kick start the National Arts month, went to UP Cine Adarna to watch Limang Libo. Of which i have no inkling what the movie is all about as i just saw it on my timeline, tweeted by @UPFilmInstitute.

there are 4 films that were line up for today, but since I got work at 4:30pm I decided to watch the most convenient for my sched: 2:30, it says on a website. So went there in UP Diliman even though I haven’t took my breakfast or even took a bath as I just woke up. The moment I got there, I was greeted by this girl named Ice who happens to be the director of the film I wanted to watch. Even without a name, I find her cool. So I was about to tell her I’m quite excited for her film but she said they got some technical difficulties and they just setting up the equipment so there will be some delays.

It took me around 4 cigs, 1 fudgee bar and several swigs of iced tea before it all started. It was quite late and I’m sure I’ll be late for work. Surprisingly, most of the entries are short films. I thought I’ve got to watch only 1 film. But I have the option to watch the four of them for a hundred bucks. Awesome.

so I’ve watched the first entry: Hungkag, followed by Limang Libo, then tried to stretch my patience for Tundong Magiliw when I’m really really late at work as my Boss started to ask why am I still not in the office and sadly, I failed to watch Enkwentro (I wish Tundong Magiliw was showed last. I got personal reasons why and it might cause a debate if I blurted it out). Hungkag, in the other hand, put me on a momentary trance for its narrative.

meanwhile, Limang Libo blows me away. The script was so minimal. The scenes were cut precisely, no sec more no sec less. Just what it takes for you to figure it out and find the answer for question why it’s all happening? It axed me with the idea of how the complication of human needs bound us together. Well, no wonder, the film has garnered an award. and how long does it take? 10 mins. Perfect.

so I hurriedly went to work, faced my boss and as of this writing, I haven’t sign a memo yet.

Officially,

2012-01-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

after several years of breathing and digesting her music, I consider myself a fan. Just got my hands on this original deluxe edition of Biophilia (my fist ever authentic Bjork possession) thanks Julio and to your folks in the states for this.

You just never know how this means to me =)

of watching film festival entries and mainstream

2012-01-09T19:30:00.006+08:00

Had this conversation with someone who happened to be a movie buff. He goes to a cinema almost twice a week (dead serious). So there comes to a point when he asked me, what’s the last movie I’ve watched on a big screen. It took me some time before I remembered and answered him that it was Raya Martin’s Buenas Noches España which was shown in UP Cine Adarna. Where there are only 5 audiences including myself. 3 of which walked out in the middle of it as they just can’t figure it out. I survived a David Lynch’s Inland Empire so I think I can withstand whatever experimental movie there is. And much to my company’s surprise, I actually find the film interesting and haunting.

So aside from Buenas Noches, most movies that I watch on a big screen are mostly coming from film festivals (CineEuropa, CinemaOne originals, SpanishFilm Fest, Japanese, Chinese spring film fest and the likes) it might because I can watch most of these “Hollywood” or “mainstream films” in the net (I admit I’m a bad consumer) and I have this notion that I want to invest money or time to something worth watching. And since these movies featured on film festivals have garnered awards and have a nod from the film festival organizers so it’s already an assurance for me that it is good.

But then again, it’s been a while since I’ve watched a good film as these festivals won’t go on a regular basis let alone every week. And I’ve already seen most of my downloaded movies in my laptop. So I decided, just last night, to watch a film that is “mainstream”.

so i landed and got this:

After the film, I can’t help but to tweet about it stating:
Bravo! Watching Sherlock Holmes is such a visual and mental treat!

I watched it in Glorieta 4 instead of Greenbelt 3 (my cinema of preference) and was not disappointed with their THX cinema worth Php200, not bad at all. And never did I get bored or tried to reach for my mobile in between watching the whole thing. So I told him (the movie buff) about it and we’ve decided to see each other after that as he already watched it with his brother. So we talked about the film and how Guy Ritchie and his crew injected modern cinematography into Sherlock Holmes classical plot. Talk and talk and talk about ourselves and we talk about him almost being kidnapped and my hold up experience ages ago and then I found myself shaking his hand for having a good time meeting him finally and saying good night.

I failed to tell him that my first ever pet dog (for seven years) name is Sherlocke.

kampai!

2012-01-01T17:38:00.004+08:00

welcoming the new year with millions burnt in the air (taken at ayala triangle via camphone)

(photo courtesy of Society Lounge)

although was away from my family and some of my core friends in Cebu, but had a blast with loved ones who also hold a special place here in my heart. It's my first time to spend my new year's eve here in Manila and it's quite memorable if not the best so far.

gratitude

2011-12-29T01:26:00.006+08:00

went to Camp John Hay in Baguio to bring good tidings to the late General Douglas McArthur

season's greetings!

2011-12-29T00:17:00.005+08:00

went to Nueva Ecija for the first time to experience pasko sa nayon. Had misa de gallo and nuche buena with Rain Rosales, my bessy Jon Mengua and his family.

i had this shot donning a gift from one of the carolers. as i always sing along with them. she gave this hello kitty x minnie mouse headband as she became my instant friend.

i just love it. thanks!

aorta

2011-11-18T19:48:00.001+08:00

when you're smack dab in the middle of it,
you don't have a clue.
you may feel you've been referring to its roots:
entangled,
but have the urge to hold fast,
to appear, closely
to move vertically
never dare to be pulled out
submerged in awareness of existence and confusion
wrapped mystery inside an enigma
The highest emotional state you can feel
as a human being
or at least, a living organism
to be completely intrigued;
lose all your wits and be half crazy
thinking of love and hate as parallels.
frustration and infatuation as parallels.
the core beauty in its force; served as a
delicacy and destruction.
embracing contradiction as noble
falling into a pit
hesitating,
yet anticipating
-the-follow-the-dots puzzle,
where a seemingly random,
accidental spread of points
turns out to have a definite pattern.
psychic bonds
a connection
a sort of mania
stressed in anxiety exerted in emotional conflict
a level of heightened spirituality,
or human understanding
to push it forward
It's painful,
painfully sweet,
ˈsækərɪn
riddled for a collective outlet
a universal Consciousness
sliding into a
single trunk.

x

be my boy

2011-11-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

played
on repeat
a mixtape
even when
the sex is taken out of the equation,
there's an audible murmurs of affection
this track has an amazing ability to
guide us through a dreamscape
a series of banalities
obscured in our own words
shared everything
in common with our feminine tendencies.
nurturing and protecting
it is about the intimacy of a lover,
a lover. a boy
who has his mind set on his and his alone.
he understands his body
he understands his needs,
he is not demanding
instead he is giving and wishes to further
worship him,
he is smitten
and taken with him
obviously,
for somehow, he is he
he, as a boy.
in love
with a boy

x

The Dø - Too Insistent (Official Video)

2011-11-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

i'm loving this track and the video. love the concept and the imagery.

melancholic yet beautiful

x

glad to see you, Cebu ●‿●

2011-10-22T00:04:00.002+08:00

at dolce vita with mango marehs. photo by @dextercastillo =)

i've got to see you
see you
see you in cebu

glad to see you, Cebu

x

mango

2011-10-19T16:06:00.002+08:00

mango square, the heart of cebu. it's been a while since the last time i sang & danced with you. make love to me later

sedentary

2011-10-17T20:42:00.001+08:00

sedentary leaks, sedentary squeaks
languid and disheveled
what have happened to you my little dear?
What are the things that come up to your head?
poison, broken promises, threesome, hands that smelt of burnt cigarette
pistols, candy wrappers, left over table wine, voltage, an unpaid bill
paper bag, neurons, winged cloud, murmurs, licking bodies, lip gloss
blood stained tub, dancing shemales, antibiotics, and Scottish widows
imaginary phone calls, changing numbers, asking details, age, sex, and location.
a room for two, fresh juice and needles,
eyebugs and bullets.
lackluster eyes,
what are they piercing at?
immobile,
yet you’ve seen yourself passing by
different times and different dimensions.
for you, the world is just a paper cup
raise it and it will be filled.
but how many times will it remain empty?
still waiting and fading away.

x

kill

2011-08-11T21:49:00.003+08:00

kill them kill them all before they will kill you the things that you own might end up owning you
kill them smoothly yet swift and sweet not as a self deprivation, but as a form of self preservation
kill them weather it's an object, a person or a place as the moment they own you
there's no more magic there's no more wonder
it's an uphill scherzo of spiral staircase
without definite dead ends

killing them could lead to something new

x

me in highschool and college

2011-08-11T16:50:00.001+08:00

ang sekreto sa pangutana

2011-07-28T17:24:00.001+08:00

unya,
aduna pa?
aduna ka pay nakit-an sa imong pag laroy laroy
sa kalasangan
diin imong gipakatulog
ang imong mga sekreto?

nahikit-an ba?
kung nahikit-an, nahinumduman pa ba?
o nakit-an kining mga sekreto, pero
sa kalimut?

nawala ang imong kinahanglan
unya kinahanglan nimo ang imong nawala
unsa pa may laing nagpabilin?
ang mga pangutana
kung kanus-a kini ma tubag?
o ang mga tubag, nga kinhanglan pa ug sumpay-sumpay
nga pangutana?

Intawn,
malouy.
Unsa pa may laing nagpabilin
Nga dapat nimo isulti kanako?

x

2011-07-18T00:14:00.004+08:00

i've been standing still
across your window
standing still
amongst empty tables
standing
waiting
watching
you from afar
while
you keep on shining
here I am
gathering mist upon my weathered eye
they clump up, build up
into purple clouds

x

passing by the red light district

2011-07-17T23:58:00.009+08:00

greys and i planned to watch the Eiga Sai 2011 entry Departures together. we went to Shangrila an hour early to watch the 11:30am schedule only to find out that it's already fully booked and the chance viewers queue is a mile long. good thing there's another schedule but it will be at 9:30pm! so how should we kill the 10 hours in between?

so the mission began. operation kill the boredom.

I introduce greys to bibinkinitan. my favorite stall in Shang where we had a bibinka and kape barako. talk talk talk with our obscure love affairs over smoke. then we went strolling to SM mega mall gallery where we passed by with this art exhibit. i forgot the name of the artist but i can still remember the theme: Red Light District

the huge scale post modernism paintings and kinky installations sparked our curiousity to come inside. we had a quick chat with the curator and we were supposedly invited for the opening then have some cocktails with the artist but we are running out of time for the Japanese film fest screening.

with some luck and over stretched patience, we were able to get prime seats and watched the award winning Japanese film on the big screen.

photos by Greys Compuesto

x

it’s all about the motion

2011-07-14T20:05:00.003+08:00

walking
running
flying
then at the perfect time,
dancing.
it’s all about transformation,
darling
may it be from within.
but then,
there’s a need for migration.
just like the birds from Siberia
they’ve got to land in a warmer terrain
may it be by bus,
by ship
or by plane.
all of us are
leaning towards the flyway
being transported from one place to another.
the science of inventing and reinventing oneself.
It’s a motion,
leaning towards
survival.

photo taken at Ms. Bambi's place in Olango
make up done by Mecca

are you still there, mr. einstein?

2011-07-13T01:16:00.006+08:00

cause and effect might have become erratic
the lineage of time might have lost its mind
a universe that coincides within a universe
simple as a pebble washed within the river of happenstance
our fates might have crossed in a much different way
but just like a pendulum of a clock
left hanging in mid air
time this time becomes viscous
an impending crime
swimming against the current
a salmon heading to its birth place to die
was it in a dream
that you were what I’m dreaming of?
then that time,
that universe,
is ours to find.

x

I may die tragically or may die peacefully, but when I die, I want to die beautifully.

2011-07-11T19:45:00.001+08:00

It’s through a radio station when I heard this song about dying beautifully. In my mind, I was thinking of a girl walking passed through EDSA and all of a sudden was hit by a speeding Subaru in a tessa prieto valdes ensemble and she swivel into a vogue like pose to her death. Hmm, that would be beautiful. However there might be something more of “living” to consider, to project a significant contrast for dying.

So it coined the question: how to die beautifully? In a universal perspective of something close to beauty: love, dying beautifully would be having a lover’s embrace, a child’s “thank you” or a best friend’s farewell before someone’s last breath could make that death more satisfactory. But when fate is cruel and the shadow of death cast upon someone, just like an unexpected thief in the night, how could anybody make that first and final moment a meaningful one?

Excuse me with this grim topic. You may exit now but if you must, please do go on.

There is this premonition by my close friends that I will die in a car crash. Although I may die differently. May it be drowning, bleeding, suffocating. Or let say by bombing, in an earthquake or tidal wave, or it could be as simple as to die in my sleep. But the thing is I will still die, sooner or later, as everyone else will also die. Although I would like to hate or fear the idea of my impending death but as early as possible I already told myself to accept it as a part of one’s journey. A pit stop of an itinerary.

So to die beautifully, my idea would be this: While I’m still alive, I would do all the drama, the love and the hate that one should feel. It’s a generic story that everyone is having. It’s the same plot in a different location, different language, different people but same topic: live life. Certainly in tears, in laughter, in rage, in passion, tah teh tah tah. And the moment I die, I would care less how it goes. Even if there’s a cinematic vision of seeing pages of my history flashing to me in a nick of time. I would learn to embrace it just like a long lost friend.

Bravery aside, I could see death now not as an ending. But as a new beginning of something else.

x

For me, a collective memory is much palpable than the idea of heaven and hell

2011-07-09T19:11:00.000+08:00

(live)lihood

2011-07-06T23:19:00.003+08:00

It dawned on me that I’ve come a long long way in earning myself a living.

I’m too shy to ask from my mother for my daily allowance when I’m still a grade-schooler. I’m aware that my father is working abroad and his salary is more than enough for our family’s monthly expenses but the act of "asking" made me uncomfortable. I have 4 siblings and my mother is way too busy to notice each of our individual needs. So I tend to manage by my own just to get by.

I was in grade three when one morning, I went to the neighbouring bakery and I found four 20 pesos bill on a road. It was like a childish dream picking up money in nowhere. but I already know that I’m having a huge amount of money (at that time) half of it I bought something I can’t remember, and the remaining 40 pesos I bought 2 packs of fruitos. I sell candies to my classmates. As my capital increased, I also sell other kind of candies. I’m a business boy at a tender age of 9!

Since then I don’t ask for baon (and I can’t remember my mama give me some as again, she’s this too busy a housewife) I don’t know when my career as a candy peddler lasts. But when I reached high school, of course I should have my allowance. But I save some of it for my hobbies. I usually buy magazines and sometimes go to the mall for computer games. But I usually do Cross-stitching. lol. I was even featured in a local cable network for anchor threads (although I usually use DMC threads on my work) and was able to sell some of my works to one of our teacher who liked my craft. Then in college, as a self supporting student (as reality bites) I’ve been into varied part time jobs. Some time it’s for the experience and connections but sometimes it’s for the money. So I could buy things that I like and for my daily fare. Those jobs include: summer art workshop facilitator, An exhibit curator, A children saver’s club usherer, choreographer for an end of the year school program, backdrop designer, being a masseur, personal tutor (math! As in Algebra, no kidding!), fashion accessories designer/ consultant, art teacher in an international school and recently I’ve become a payroll software specialist, then as a billing analyst and now, I’m working in a collections dept. my gehd! Imagine how many people, companies, buildings and kilometres I’ve been through until I’ve reached my desk and write this?

I’ve been dreaming of working in a place/town/country for 6 months then transfer to another to explore different places and different people. I’ve done that a couple of times. In fact, right this moment, I felt I’m long overdue with my current job as I’m staying in the company for almost 3 years now (although half of it spent in cebu, and now I’m here in manila). One of the reason why I overstayed is mainly because of the no frizz nature of the job yet above average wage. And my yearly appraisal is too good to decline.

But still my mission is on. So hopefully by early next year, I will venture to a different country. Or else, I’ll stagnate. Life is too short and there’s so much to discover. Aside of calling it a mean of income (sic), money is not what I’m after all this time. It’s all about the experience.

.

panamilit

2011-06-29T00:21:00.000+08:00

Pahawa na,
lakaw na.
kay hinuon,
sa akong pag piyong,
ikaw ra man gihapon
ang akong maka hiuban.

today marked my 1st year here in manila.

2011-06-25T18:09:00.001+08:00

I could still remember the reasons why I migrated here in the capital from the queen city of the south. I’ve lived almost my entire life in Cebu. Spent my high school and college days there and worked for four years in the same city. Though I travelled every now and then but my home city seems to outgrow me and I feel too comfortable and too familiar with it.

I wanna be on my toes again. I want to explore those places I kept on hearing or read in the newspapers. I wanna visit those places I’ve seen in TV or from the local movies. I also want to be in a place where nobody knows my name. The idea of anonymousity really excites me. So I decided to work here in manila as it so happened our company just expanded a new site here and they need tenured employees. So my transfer and my 2 weeks hotel accommodation were shouldered by the company.

My goal of finishing my fine arts course in UP Diliman also brought me here, but until now, I wasn’t able to enroll myself due to work, weekend escapades and yes, due to procrastination.

Instead, I keep on jogging (or sometimes smoking) around UP IKOT as it’s only 5 minutes away from my rented place. And I got familiar with all the halls and I’ve been in and out in their UP cine adarna for film screenings.

If you’ll ask me where all my earnings goes to, it went to bus and plane tickets as I consider travelling as my occasional dose of morphine. Since I’m here in manila, I wanna explore the rest of Luzon. So it would justify my travel or working in abroad as I already explored and fully experienced the wonders of my own country.

The distance from manila to my home town (bantayan island) and my home city (cebu city) surely intensified my longing with my friends and loved ones. Good thing about it is that we learn how to value communication and make sure to have quality time when we are together. And one thing that I look forward in catching up with them is that I have a baggage full of stories to tell.

.

a mental walk

2011-06-22T19:56:00.004+08:00

years of years of pieces
a reconstruction
a whole new wing dedicated
for a single moment
coherences of more than thousands
of words, of hopes and smiles
let the picture sing
as the after dark
won’t fade its twinkling lights

age marked paper
flashes its ability to preserve---
to capsulate an eternity
a remnant of memory and time

(for julio, whom i supposed to celebrate 5th year anniversay on this date)

shi(f)t happens

2011-06-20T23:58:00.003+08:00

I had a series of neon lighted events during this week. One of those was the French film festival 2011 in Shangrila Cineplex. Then the “I’m too drunk to recognize if it was kylie minogue or not” moment in society lounge, of which I was still able to request for her video “wow” via myx music channel, then when russ arrived here in manila for a collaborative art exhibit opening in Picasso gallery.

But one thing that haunts me is when greys and I were about to go home as we encountered a man who is in the verge of desperation. He is a foreigner, I’m not certain of what origin, as his feature is very European but his accent is kinda American (maybe a US citizen of Irish decent) but one thing for certain is that he badly needed help.

He narrated his story of how he lost his wallet after their soccer tournament at Quirino grandstand. He already went to the police station to report the terrible incident but after hours of hours of investigation it didn’t made any difference, as he still need his wallet back. He also told us that he has a bus ride to catch (bound to Zambales). So he’s been wandering around Makati to seek assistance from strangers to raise enough funds.

To tell you honestly, I wasn’t able to help him at all as I already spent my pocket money and my atm is not with me. While Greys, I’ve just realized, is hobophobic. As she became stiff like a statue while I asked her if she have any extra cash, so she wasn’t able to react accordingly to the problem at hand.

I apologize to the man and bade him a silent wish that he may be able to find a way out of this pit.

That happened two nights ago. I’m wondering what happened to him after that fruitless encounter with us. Did he able to make it to Zambales? Doesn’t he have any friends/contacts here in Manila? Was he able to get help or not at all in the middle of the harsh city. How is he now?

This made me ponder what if this will also happen to me (knock on wood). what if I made it to a different country only to find out that my whole luggage is missing. I don’t have cash, no documents, and worst of all, no contacts?

Will I just jump off to a nearby bridge and wish I’m dead. Or, like the desperate man, will wander around the city like a vagabond asking for bread.

It really scares me, at the same time challenges me what’s really my full capability as a survivor (as I think I am one) I also wanted to know what’s my limit. I know shit happens as well as shift happens.

If you were in his case, how will you manage?

.

Vagabond

2011-06-18T19:04:00.002+08:00

The 2011 French film festival entries here in Manila was dominated by reknowned French actress Sandrine Bonnaire whose films that I’ve watched during the whole festival were Elle s'appelle Sabine, La Cérémonie and this film I’m writing about: Sans toit ni Loi

My interest with this film sparked when I’ve learned that this was released on 1985, the year that I was born. So I’m quite curious how things are going on when my cognition still haven’t pervaded my whole being.

Watched it in Shangrila Cineplex alone. I even ditched work and get reprimanded by my boss upon knowing I was gone from the office more than my lunch break sched. But the film is worth watching and it’s way different if you’re going to watch it on a big screen.

The wide shots, the plot, the style, the sullen imagery and the intense yet subtle character of Mona totally made me focus on the film from beginning ‘til the end.

The film reminds me of Jack Kerouac’s “on the road”. Although it’s been ages since I’ve read the book but I could pinpoint some parallelism with Kerouac’s novel and this film. it was presented, that being on the road is travelling on a path between freedom and loneliness. It hit me and it felt like an unexpected nemesis punched me in the stomach.

strange strangers

2011-06-18T00:03:00.003+08:00

It’s one crazy weekend when you find yourself hopping from one event to another. My dearest ball of yarn, Russ, went here in Manila for a performance stint with renowned Cebuano artists at Picasso Gallery in Makati. Me and my date (a lady friend) Greys tried to figure out where exactly the venue is, as this part of Makati is a strange place for both of us.

Unfortunately, wasn’t able to make it during the performance and missed the opening of Contemporary Cebu at The Picasso. But not completely, we were just on time for the cocktails and catching up with the colored folks, both the artists and the attendees. Have seen new and familiar faces. Had some pica-pica and red wine. Serious talk to funny bloopers of outdoor adventures.

to cap the night, we had coffee to a strange place where we end up being strangers to that strange coffee shop.

photos by Greys Compuesto

x

too drunk for Kylie @ the Society Lounge

2011-06-17T00:13:00.001+08:00

yoooh choohyce, yoooh moohsahck, maahx

with Sherwin, Ian and Jm

x

zero visibility

2011-06-16T18:50:00.004+08:00

we both know it’s raining
farther ahead
certainties are already washed and
seeped into the ditches of our failed attempts
how could we still keep on walking
even though these steps are leading us
to the brink of a cliff
how could we both keep on moving
when we know
we will fall into our own abyss
tell me.
You once told me
you’ll hold me for the rest of your life
but while you’re breathing
I felt I’m getting further and
further into the mist

(photo taken along taytay rizal one stormy day)

a lost panda's day out

2011-06-15T19:08:00.000+08:00

photo's taken by atty. joan dulhao @ banawe mt. province

A human mold, in a shape of one’s mentality

2011-06-14T17:33:00.003+08:00

It was summer of my 2nd grade of elementary years when we moved to Bantayan island. At the early age of 8, I learned how to swim. then the summer a year after that, I learned how to ride a bike. I could still remember my first accident with the bike when I bumped into my grandmother’s sister’s place and ruin their fence (as well as my knees and elbows). Then during high school days, when I moved back to the city, I started to jog.

So I’m quite active all these years. Being physically fit is out of the question, but I do all these activities, apparently, to drive my inner demons away and an outlet for my ever active/restless body. Recently, just this summer. I tried going to the gym.

The idea of body building didn’t appeal to me at first, as I’m not that tall and I might end up looking like an overstuffed sausage. I’m still convinced that going swimming instead of going to the gym is much better. However, when I moved here in Manila, I had a hard time looking for a pool unlike there in Cebu, I had an easy access to their city sports complex (Abellana) where they have this Olympic sized pool. Since our office have its own gym and have so much free time in hand, I started working out. And just like swimming and biking, I learned how to the drill without any instructor.

I first started by reading the manuals, then talking with gym buddies and read some pointers over the internet. Eventually, I get acquainted and familiar with the facilities and the capacity of my body to deal with these toning/buffing machineries.

It’s on my 2nd and 3rd week that I could notice some changes in my target muscular areas. Since my lower torso is already defined, I want to improve my upper torso specially the chest area. Before it’s like a plain field, but now I could see some growing valleys as my chest starting to peak up and expand. But when I miss some sessions, then they sort of deflate and got anxious to hit gym again. It’s an ongoing project.

One time, between a series of once in a blue moon conversation with my Norwegian in-law, Thomas, we had a talk about men who go to the gym. He sort of shares the psychology behind working out. Then I was struck with his idea that a man’s body can be molded out of one’s mentality. He pin pointed that when a man works out with anger; then in effect, his body will turn out to be full of aggression to the extend people will perceive his form as scary and harsh as if his body was molded on how he based his emotion and mentality while he’s working out.

As a reaction to his discussion, I told him that I will work out with cool music. And will always have this positive outlook where the idea of love and sex will constantly drift into me. So in effect, my body will become sexy and it’s very much feasible for making love.
We just both laugh in agreement.

x

within 2 years

2011-05-30T18:10:00.003+08:00

today, we were asked to create a vision board. and i came up with this:

*to watch bjork's biophilia world tour
*reunited with my core friends
*dslr
*skagen wristwatch
*fully learned and be fluent with Spanish
*visit angkor wat
*and hopefuly, a condo unit

Gratulerer med dagen!

2011-04-29T03:44:00.001+08:00

to my ever beloved, Veruschka

x

puerto princesa

2011-04-23T00:36:00.002+08:00

during the un/holy week with Jm, Sherwin and Raph.

x

lost and found

2011-04-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

(with candice, joan and cherryl)

*photos taken by joan and john in Sagada Mt. province

morning walk to where the fields are

2011-04-17T10:46:00.001+08:00

come on, you blood suckers

2011-04-17T10:37:00.000+08:00

we hopped from one conventional cemetery to another not so conventional cemetery with the help of the three musketeers we met by the church

echo valley and the hanging coffins of Sagada

.

Ghostlike, Butoh by Russ Ligtas

2011-04-09T02:12:00.000+08:00

from russ

2011-04-09T02:00:00.001+08:00

For Liyo

When we broke from crawling

and considered walking,

you’d swum an ocean

and taken flight

When we fell trying,

you were grooming your wings

for your journey back

You see,

our wings

unlike yours,

are still seeds of wishes on our backs

They have not begun to grow

We are not ready for them

We have yet to earn their being

As you have switched from feet

and hands to fins and flukes to wings,

we have yet to straighten our legs

and stand as you have-

long before you even knew

you had to learn to

Where are you,

child of the sun

friend of the wind

lover of the earth

brother to the sea?

We have only your feathers-

delicate letters from your travels

in our calloused hands

carrying the scent of distant lands

you’ve surely conquered,

dazzled by the color of your soul,

enchanted by your taming touch

and swooned by the tickle

of your tongue

Come back

and radiate your warmth upon us

once again

for we have gone cold and dull

in your absence,

languid and bent

Every day

we stretch our necks

and search the sky

for you,

we look down and wait

for the shadow of your wings

to glide across the ground

Return

creature of flight

of light

of delight

of lightness,

end this bobbing of hollow-eyed heads

and teach us, finally-

how to fly.

***

Thank you mpareh.

.

mission accomplished

2011-04-09T00:47:00.000+08:00

way back in elementary, we were asked to collect postcards from different places around the country. paste it on a bond paper (creating 2d frames out of crayons) and pass it in a folder. i could still remember not passing the postcard of hundred islands as i am too curious of what the place really looks like.

now, here's my own version, through my camphone's lens , of the postcard worthy HUNDRED ISLANDS

(HQ) Part 3. Body Remix - Goldberg Variations, Marie Chouinard.

2011-04-07T02:48:00.000+08:00

Andreas Loeschner-Gornau, a german friend and mentor from cebu, shared this via fb.
just can' t help but get transfixed with their whimsical choreography and flawless movements.
just wonderful. i wish their dance company still exists and continue doing this kind of performances.

for that, i remembered russ saying that the cirque du soleil is having a live show here in Manila. i hope we can score a ticket and able to watch it.

going back to this, i salute Marie Chouinard and her team for their creativity.
so beautiful.

x

a present from the future?

2011-04-05T15:31:00.005+08:00

i know you know whoever you are, thanks.

x

perking up

2011-03-31T03:17:00.004+08:00

since i moved here in manila, i'm really looking for a place with warm and laid back ambiance as most coffee shop here are mostly crowded and yes, busy.

i so miss this place, as time here seems to be encapsulated in a coffee bean. i can read and sketch all day long.

location: Bo's Coffee shop Asiatown I.T. park

these pics are taken circa 2007

.

1885

2011-03-27T03:45:00.000+08:00

happy birthday wonder boy ü

2011-03-18T22:04:00.000+08:00

ran into and listen to a lamp post

2011-03-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

photo by: Mecca Maranga

strange young man

2011-03-16T15:23:00.004+08:00

while talking to my crush over the phone, he didn't know i keep on doodling on his pic

i hope he wouldn't get mad when he got to see this =)

.

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

2011-03-09T03:57:00.000+08:00

it's one of track i love in I Am N0 4 OST.

and darn, i love the masked dancer.

cool vid, got interesting setting there

roaming

2011-03-02T23:09:00.010+08:00

I skimmed through my old snapfish album (I just retrieved them after thinking I had lost it all as I’ve never ordered from them) and came across with this. I shot this picture 4 years ago in a family park. My memory of this is still vivid. This mob just appeared all of a sudden and felt a mixture of surprise, sadness and concern upon seeing them. My childish image of a sheep is white, fluffy and they’re gazing from one moor to another. But this herd is quite the opposite of that mental picture.

It’s been 8 months since I moved north to manila from the queen city of the south: Cebu. One of my many reasons behind is having a new environment. As I want to be on my toes again. Heading to places that I’m not familiar with. The tension and climax of riding buses, MRT/LRT, and jeepneys in, around and beyond EDSA. For some time, I felt so alive.

Then eventually, I got tired.

I’m starting to feel old with the city. The grayness of the street and towering buildings seems to seep through my skin. might be the reason why most people here are into spa, gym and resort to bring them peace.

But for me, there’s nothing more refreshing than to see old friends. It would make those old dilapidated walls full of meaning and wonder. An endless path of cracked asphalt or cobble stones wouldn’t hurt that much. Dusty and smoky rooms got knocked down with our laughter. I can actually find myself among the flock.

I said to myself: It’s ok, as long as I am roaming with *them

*russ, vera and chai

what have you discovered lately?

2011-02-27T17:17:00.002+08:00

chai fonacier at fort santiago, old manila

.

say ahhh

2011-02-24T18:12:00.003+08:00

it starts with sucking
the goodness of a happenstance
and end up with
a purple sigh
absentminded looking girl
vanished within
the anonymous cracks
of fortified walls
where both history and tragedy
coincide within
the story of a
blood refusing cannoneer
every molecules of it
will circulate
through the cacophony
of laughter
whims
and silent goodbyes
she's ok,
she's good,
she's fine
just give her some time
my dear,
until there's no more
nicotine turns into ashes
and 'til the bitterness
of the last drop of brewed coffee
washes the stain
of a fleeting tear.

.

Bravo'

2011-02-19T01:09:00.003+08:00

just watched the film.

and Russ was right, once you've seen the film, one needs to go for a drink.

crazy beautiful.

...

Just like trying to ride a bike, down look down to see your struggles but look forward to where you’re heading to.

2011-02-19T01:07:00.002+08:00

mangga, mangga, hinog ka na ba?

2011-02-18T17:01:00.001+08:00

murag sa ting pamunga sa mangga,
mukalit ra ka ug pamuwak.
muulbo ang imong alimyon
sa akong tugkaran.
sa imong taghoy
dili ko magduha duha ug tuyok.
labi na ang imong bakod nga sanga
gabag-id bag-id sa akong mahuyang nga lawas
kalami ba nimo oi’
galaway na ko,
imo pa gyud kong palawayon.
apan ing-ani ra ta hangtud sa hangtud?
duha ka ugat nga dili mag-abot.
intawn dong,
patilawa ko sa imong bunga

.

kumkuma

2011-02-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

kumkuma lang intawn day
ang kinalasang pasensya
kumkuma ang mga luha
nga nagtipun-pun sa imong mga mata
maka sugakod ra ka
pohon
sa umaabot
sa hagbay na mga adlaw
ug lumalabay na mga oras
kung diin kaning tanang kasakit
mahupas
ayaw idout ug taman
ang tunok nga gakamang
sa imong dughan
pasagdi ug maanad ra ka niini
daw suso nga gadala ug hapdos na lana
ipadalin-as
ug ipaagas
sa syagit
sa katawa
sa pagpangaliya
diha uban sa gugma
nga anaa kanunay
mudungap sa imoha

.

lost

2011-02-01T16:00:00.002+08:00

Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That's part of what it means to be alive.

— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

.

went to spring film fest

2011-01-31T15:47:00.000+08:00

for that, i came in late at work..

but the whole experience is worth it.
i've watched one of the four entries: Forever Enthralled

.

finally, ive made it to anilao batangas

2011-01-30T15:39:00.000+08:00

drifting

2011-01-28T01:26:00.002+08:00

a science of sleep

meandering
pedalling
walking
puffing
swaying
dancing
rambling

way across my waking dreams

whatever it takes, i need to reach a shore this weekend

2011-01-26T03:10:00.000+08:00

or else, mawagtangan kog hasang..

best friends

2011-01-22T16:28:00.005+08:00

these kids are camera whores.
but i like them,

makasuya ilang pagka bata
and their friendship is so pure

i'm glad i also have this kind of friendship with russ, vera and chai..

i think, mey nagpapatiwakal sa kabila..

2011-01-14T03:56:00.000+08:00

was about to sleep when i've heard this strange noise

bada, bada, wag ka munang magpadiwakal!

2011-01-14T03:06:00.004+08:00

i love the night life

2011-01-11T03:59:00.000+08:00

I was about to declare today (01/10/11),

2011-01-10T02:33:00.000+08:00

as our "official date" ---> but he blew it. =(

For that I went to the club alone & guess what? twas my first time to be
LITERALLY alone in a club. I came quarter to midnyt, was I that early?

mastering the trick of blanching. thanks jon for the tip'

2011-01-09T03:19:00.000+08:00

back to grey old sky

2011-01-06T02:39:00.001+08:00

tapos na ang mahabang celebrasyon
mga maidlap na maliligayang sandali
balik sa maynila
balik sa dating gawi

***

ewan kung ano ang meron para sa akin ditto
at ano ang maiidulot sa mga darating na panahon,

si batman lang talaga ang nakaka.alam
sya na ang bahala

x

my dear,

2011-01-05T14:55:00.000+08:00

once i've twitted: What i want this christmas is a 3paged letter.

and guess what Vera Leigh Lasam, Chai Fonacier and Thommas Bergtun have done! they have this for me way back i visited Cebu for the holidays.

you guys are so sweet! being with you is such a treat!
:p see yah around

morning.dou

2011-01-04T02:44:00.000+08:00

ei Russ Raniel Ligtas , thanks..

im doing my daily morning ritual with it from this day on =)

01/01/11 flight back to mla

2011-01-01T16:10:00.003+08:00

the long holiDAZE are over, so now i'm heading back to manila via mactan airport and here's
the sight that welcomes me:

a very long queue of passengers (like me) who are tired from the just recently ended
yuletide season break.

the line starts from here,

until there.

after checking in and all those needed security check, i found myself exhausted
and stressed out. having some extra time at hand, i decided to unwind over cup of
cappuccino and a cig at Marlborough lounge inside the airport.

sitting across my table is a person whom i could only wish to be haruki murakami.
now i wonder how could i possibly approach him and confide that i'm a huge fan

listening to astrud gilberto, when i had a conversation with my papa over the phone.
i already told him about the book that he requested and the pair of eyeglasses will be
sent via LBC after the holiday madness fades out. i told him i still remember the color
cassette tape of astrud as green. last time i've seen it was way back i were 5 years old?
my memories are that vivid.

after resigning with the idea that the person across me is not the real murakami,
i deviated my attention to this newly landed aircraft.

sino kaya ang dumating? nandyan ba si Aling Nena?
dala-dala nya ang anak na si Jun-jun? ang paglisan nya sa maynila ay may-maiidulot
ba na kabutihan sabay sa paglisan nya kay Manong Karding?

ewan, bakit napasok yun sa kukuti ko. makapag board na nga, baka masirad-an ako sa eroplano,
ma-ahat gyud kog puyo balik sa cebu aning kalakiha.

i didn't ask for the window seat but it's unoccupied. so i moved closer where i took
the following shots (shheeesh, don't tell the flight attendants please)

good bye queen city of the south, will see you again soon. very soon

sailing on the sea of clouds. at this time i'm listening to bjork's oceania.
so now, where are the sting rays that are floating across the sky?

i broke my annual tradition of watching the first sunrise of the year to a place that
i've never been to, but this time, i've seen it the above the altitudes. so ok ra?

wading

2010-12-28T04:09:00.001+08:00

5 Years - Volta Tour - Denmark Roskile Festival 2007

2010-12-23T02:47:00.002+08:00

russ had this posted recently on fb, as usual Bjork never fails to astound both of us (and for sure some Bjork hard core lovers as well)

so i can't help but post this as well on my page.

just listening this track on my headphone could let me run a hundred miles, let alone see her live performing. Volta tour is just so wonderfully magical. i hope she has another one brewing and luckily, me and russ would able to make it that time.

the power of her voice, the lyrics, the memories it brings. Gehd, it's purely electrifying.

hail to Bjork

***************************************************

PS

Dearest Bjork,

please don't get old yet..

from izakaya (gbelt) to tagaytay

2010-12-21T03:02:00.001+08:00

my cuz happens to be in manila. so straight from work i went to greenbelt with her
and a friend Marz where Ian, Jm and Sherwin were partying in Izakaya.

with mah cuz'n, Jean (at the background: ian smiling aimlessly, sherwin and Jm kissing)

with cuz and marz

then around 4am, we decided to go to tagaytay
i went there without a jacket, and darn, it was friggin coRRD!

i love this pic taken at villa olivarez? i forgot the place.
next time, i should bring my jacket, if not, at least a human blanket. hehe =)

even if it's kinda sunny, the cold breeze could dampen your cheeks.
such a lovely place.

we just had breakfast, cig and a coffee then went back home (so damn tired).
Jean will be heading back to cebu later that day. so i'm glad we had this moment together.
@jean_denorte will see u again on xmas cuz there in Cebu!

it would be me who's going there this time.

Finally,

2010-12-15T19:31:00.007+08:00

was able to visit these places here in Manila (and some part of Southern Luzon)
that I kept on hearing but never been to before. Thanks for Jon Mengua who’s my personal walking
and breathing google map. He worked as a real estate agent before and he roam around most
of these places (so it figures).

*Eastwood Libis

*photo by emong

a great place to spend the after hours. We came here after our shift at 2am, and man'
the place is still vivid and most of the establishments around (as there is an open mall,
sort of coco mall in Cebu but bigger) are open 24 hours.

*Tagaytay

*photo by etravelpilipinas

Spent my 10/10/10 spur of the moment escapade. It's only 60 pesos bus ride from Taft.
Went to a lutong bahay restaurant and had coffee at strabucks while facing this view.

*Ateneo de Manila University

*photo by nikko viquiera

Went there with Jon, stayed more time along katipunan avenue---the nestling place of
Atenistas, Merrriams, atsaka mga scholars ng bayan. Dine and unwind at Shakey's

*UST

*photo by americatours

we always passed by here everytime we go to Malate from quezon Ave.

*Quiapo Church

*Photo by Arvin Rolly

wanna experience simbang gabi here!
is it gonna be tomorrow for the first 9 mornings?

from centris walk to cubao x

2010-12-11T02:56:00.001+08:00

after rehearsals, jon and i hopped from Q.ave to Cubao.
Instead looking for attire for our upcoming xmas party the day after, we had a drink instead.

at coffee bean and tea leaf at centris walk. with November, Madeleine, and Jon

@ cubaoX, they have this pasko sa nayon theme. at 11pm, the place is crowded with
eccentric drunkards and some junkies with an invisible tag on their forehead saying:
"i'm an artist"

but generally, i love the crowd. i feel normal when i hang out here. heheh!

with my mareng Jon, kumareh na kami, kasi lahat ng hearthrob nya na meet ko na.
i give my blessing to all 5 of them? ilan nga sila jon? sagutin mo nga ako..

so yun, hubog na hubog ang kalabasan.
ayo ko na, ka isa na lang...

*photos by jon

Happy B-Day GL!!!

2010-12-10T03:08:00.002+08:00

in my 5th year in this corporate world, i never had as cool as my boss right now.
yes, i'm not bragging it on her (she is not even reading my blog, and i'm not gonna
add her on facebook, so she won't know my whereabouts when i get missing in action... lol )
but our Sup is so cool that we can't help but love her much. For her birthday, we surprised
her with this bday bash!

Jon made 90% preparation, me and the rest just contribute a little..

S means what? Sick?

or what? (what's on your mind?)

jon, me and our GL Audrey, who made us all spoiled bratz!
we love you GL, stay young and lovely and paki process dispute ko GL..
at yung vacation leave ko, atsaka sick leave, atsaka...

lol =)

*photos by georgina fernandez and jon mengua

banchetto (ortigas)

2010-12-07T04:17:00.001+08:00

Every Friday, a place near Emerald Ortigas has this food fiesta strip where stalls and stalls
of food stalls sell everything from grilled liempo to deep fried drumsticks to red and white
sauced pastas to baked goodies and to whatever fancies your gastronomic fantasies.
So it’s all about food expo where hundreds or let say even thousands of food enthusiasts
flock on this mini strip in Ortigas. It reminds me of Fuente Osmeña during Sinulog.
We usually walk (or even push) ourselves through the crowd to hop from one stall to another
and like predators, we proceed to the mini park with our goodies after an exhilarating
and sometimes, stressful hunt.

with mareng john and aya =)

Ra Ra Riot - "Boy"

2010-12-07T04:08:00.001+08:00

listening to this track.
it's 04:07 on a December morning.
will jog in a bit.

I was shy at the time

2010-11-30T02:41:00.000+08:00

when I met him
it was nothing special
nothing glossy at the background
it was just me and the music
him and his drink
all we could just do is shoe gazing
you know what I mean?

i must have reread some letters
to tide me by
remembering a correspondent:

. i am doing fine,
. just that the weather in England
. is dropping down to 8 degrees
. that is too cold for me.
.
. you have been such a superstar again.
. thanks so much for getting back to me quickly.
. all the best,
. m

then the tropical air
brings me back
where were we again?
oh, yeah. cubaoX
the place of which reminds me of
kukuk’s and turtle’s nest
at night
when shoes sleep with
guitar strings

an hour would be
a long long time
standing beside an infinite line
what ever happens
to he and i.

Imogen Heap - Goodnight And Go music video

2010-11-30T02:39:00.003+08:00

gehd, just a wonderful song
and if i got a sound track for snippets of my pathetic "love life" scenes
this would be very suitable track..

i'm having Imogen Heap as one of my favorite artists

S(mile)

2010-11-30T02:39:00.001+08:00

Bitterness?
How could that be
If All I can see
Is you, smiling at me
Sadness?
How could that be
If all you can see
Is me, smiling at you

But it’s all just a “smile”
as we’ve parted ways
me: heading from east to west
you: heading from west to east
where have all the stories gone?

And just like that'
a dream
that we both have
forgotten

with ian cinco and the bang bang gang

2010-11-20T04:16:00.002+08:00

i always get excited when ian cinco, one of my close friends from cebu,
would come here in manila. He’s an epitome of a partyphile who knows no limit.
So I always make sure to tag along with them when he happens to be around (and vice versa)

Because of ian, I became close to his core friends as well.
So I enjoy hanging out with them and boy,
we have this kind of magnet for fun!

with ian, at a saloon in greenbelt (he just had his Php450 haircut!
man, i got mine for only 40 bucks! haha and that's inclusive with the tip!)

I miss our moments in Cebu so being with ian is all about catching up,
we talk endlessly about boys boys boys! Heheh and all those girl talks. lol

from left to right: rap marinduque, me, ian cinco, unknown girl (hush, she's concentrating)
, jun jun and the birthday boy JM (having dinner at Conti's, Greenbelt)

This is our second time around here in manila together. Last time was rap’s birthday,
and now we celebrate JM’s birthday this time. Come to think about it,
these guys are flying from Cebu to manila just to celebrate birthdays.
But I think there are other reasons behind. And one of the many reasons
would be the new places, new faces and of course, the party hubs!
Will be heading to society lounge in makati later
( for another round of bang bang moment).

They’ll be coming back home to Cebu a couple of days from now.
Jm and I will be the ones left here. So will start missing them again.
I even suggest moving here in Manila. Ian says he will think about it.
Hopefully, he will, next year.

jm's day @ society lounge (makati)

2010-11-20T04:13:00.001+08:00

Tokyo Police Club - Bambi

2010-11-18T03:24:00.001+08:00

this is what i'm talking about

currently digging on this band, i'm starting to like their tracks. They got this guitar that sounds like piano (vice versa) very sick & rad!

An ode to Russ Ligtas’ butoh performance -He[sit]ation

2010-11-15T02:40:00.000+08:00

You came in you came and you came when all senses faint as your name yes your name is all there is to it as it goes as it went through unseen doors of histories of which are painted on walls that captivate you with all you do and what you’ve been through as you cringe and you escape a silent scream as tinge of reminisce lighted your dark memories of where you sit of where you spit your st[r]ing of wordless narrative.

there it goes

2010-11-12T03:06:00.000+08:00

again
a prick from my upper left chest
a quick glance
perceived to be
the heart's chance
to finally see
myself with you
in a date
as if it was fated
but its long overdue
way too long for my heart to wait
and ask the same question again
‘til when?
but here you are again
passing me a ticket
a lottery
that keeps me wide awake
at night
a feigned delight
but for what?
hating that smile
that make me run, a thousand mile
another round on a maze
i thought it's over: gone
now, another puzzle: undone
in that piercing stare
you really know the way
how to pierce
a gay's heart
no?

to investigate

2010-11-11T03:07:00.001+08:00

the limitations
to interpret: a realization
of the human body as a vessel
an attempt
a transcendence
a flight of imagination.
are They
an exploration of self and humanity?
through metaphysical
and psychoanalytic terms?
playing with the perception
of time and emotions:
how vulnerable one can be
at a certain place in time,
and the questions we might ask
about those feelings.
just like careful meat selection
and refined craftsmanship in the production
capturing landscapes
of an unidentified place where dots,
drawn on three different layers
interact with structures
that are already given
and have the capacity to experience the
imagination
and investigate
an interpretation

Take it

2010-11-11T03:06:00.001+08:00

why is it
it's better not to take pictures?
do you choose
to remember them instead?
in your mind
carved within the caverns
of your brain,
you keep it.
and you'll always find it
in your head
clinging
like stalactites
it would penetrate
much deeper
probably
more often
than not
rather than a snap
a shot
nothing
but a
blot

in response to p.d.

2010-11-11T03:05:00.000+08:00

i will talk to you
i will talk to you
and i will tell you about my dreams
yes, you are in them
and it makes me afraid that
i'm not within your realms
or am i?
cause i'm afraid if i'm not
as it will just means that
our stories are unreal
nothing but a fairytale
it doesn't really exists
after all these years
of us being together
now, it makes me wonder
if you could even still remember
my name
of who i am
of who we were
of where we are
supposedly
so don't get afraid of me
and please don’t even get me wrong
or else, i’ll crash, I’ll die

-for j.s.

Love Lost - The Temper Trap

2010-11-05T03:42:00.000+08:00

certainly a great video. i keep on hearing this track on the radio.

TGIF to everyone!

Janelle Monae - Cold War [Official Music Video]

2010-11-05T03:12:00.000+08:00

halu!

2010-11-03T14:52:00.001+08:00

lakwatsa!

2010-11-02T21:02:00.003+08:00

prima ballerina for tonight?

with harry, the emo sponge! hehe
To Mommy Gen and Ken, please mag peace ka kayo..
nasasaktan si harry..
=(

heheh

at mrs. Fields
her cookies are something to die for
i wanna meet her in person
in palo alto
and have coffee with her

GL, ang swerte nang tao makakatanggap ng mrs. fields cookies na ito
naway pagpalain ka ng maykapal
at naway wag ka munang kunin ni lord sa kabaitan

-photos by rainier mengua

saan po ang papuntang careta?

2010-11-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

however

2010-10-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

you've pushed me away
immediately
dropping me
before dropping you
before slapping you
before smacking you
of unused ticket
of time wasted
and all you have to say:
'it's complicated'
a minute of running
in circles, in zigzag
but ending up with you
don't you just draw me closer
to where you are
finding yourself,
in an infinite stellar
so engrossed of who you are
making me a complete hag
all bruised eyes with teary sag
don't just flash that silly smile
don't just win me up with your
pile long of storyline
i know,
'it's complicated'
but,
it's not what i wanted
hold on,
you seems you had a bad day
fuming,
feet above the ground-
a meter away
lemme finish first,
will you?
all i wanted
all i'm askin'
is for you
to dropp by
not passed me by
please go low
then draw me closer
to you

so, where to?

2010-10-21T14:48:00.001+08:00

you don't know
that's fine
let's get lost
chasing and challenging
the potential of seeking
solace
increased
mainly due with the thought
of seeing your own reflection
specifically
on bygone cities
all across the pacific
stamp it on your forehead
stamp it and be sacred
to hell with the inevitable
we are not much in control anyway
most of the time
compensate with the unseen
compensate and be forgiven
getting additional miles of miles of smiles
going back
not for numbers
but for wonders
and then ponder:
asking?
so where am i going?
what am i heading for?
for more, that's it!
even if
you wouldn't be so sure
what's in store
i know,
the unpaid bill is not yet due,
waiting for another
individual
in queue
ranking
communication
between
are string
of expertise
on seeing
on finding
more questions

Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over (2010 Version)

2010-10-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

first heard of this in jam 88.3 several months ago
then it became OST for "Eat, Pray, Love"
just love the track, and the video.
enjoy!