-went picnic with my sister and laws and pamangkin in quezon memorial circle.. fun times
-had insta lift facial massage at a derm clinic with my sisters
-until my serotonin levels went low due to lack of sleep and missed a lot of invites/events (3rdfloor guy and sex invites frm grindr) i felt i should prioritize my sleep and well being rather than sex
-watched 10 things i hate about you
-slowly and gradually, im aggreing with this saying:
the opposite of love is not hate
10/30
-went to marikina as i thought i will see unggoy but he slept all day and woke up late.
-roam around sm marikina, went to the over populated riverbanks center and food stalls and then walk along the darkened riverbanks (the other side where the big shoes is) i felt its ghostly, its like my pre Halloween scene.
-roam around the cruising area but i dont like the crowd this time. i simply enjoy the cold breeze.
10/26
on the ulitmate moment of my passing, this will be the song that goes along with the last beat of my heart.
new world - bjork orkestral
10/25
-unable to sleep and prepare to go to malate to meet russ and lem.
i felt privileged and lucky to watch streaming of bjork's orkestral live frm rejkavic with russ.
my msge to russ after the event:
mpareh.. remember the scene (in HBO's i may destroy you) yung bestfriend ni arabella, si terry. yung vinisita sya sa italy and marveling the place they are staying. terry said something like when can i have this kind of priveledge. and arabella said this is it.
mpareh, i felt that in full accord last night.
in harmony with you, with mama b, the world and the universe.. such immensity, as an awestruck child that feels foolish but he is actually just as wonderful as is
so much love..
-super stoned and wasted
10/24
-woke up past midnight and watched mr. queen...ahaha ang kulit sobra
-its rainy so i went out to bathe in the rain, super loved the moment specially i finally went to one of my favorite spots to the restricted area where dagitab was shot. done yoga and just lay down and simply feel every rain drops on my body.. it was so revitalizing
-misses unggoy so.much. went to riverbanks just to reminisce our first night in marikina
-i was overwhelmed with obsession again and this time with unggoy.. what the hell is happening to me? 😅 i just slowly getting over with francis.up and now im leaning towards unggoy. ive done crazy stuff above riverbanks where theres this cruising area. and also went to the riverpark where i met new faces and new dicks from my usual University ave crowd. ahaha
-i even met up with this guy who looks like unggoy but it didnt work out.
-then theres this guy who invited me for slam session. but he is too OD and he have so much TH.. crazy. so i left and still so high. went back above riverbanks since im so horny and met with several guys.. and end up meeting this guy who also high near the overpass.
10/23
-went so sm sta mesa to register for comelec, finally i made it!
-found this cute guy in white na nakapila din, but i already lost him the moment i have the guts to approach him.
-later, found another guy named Lance, and we able to change numbers
10/22
-fantasized about saeed and cum saying "tamoran mo ako" while memory of him penetrating me as he almost came that night when we last parteed together.
-my witchcraft for francis.up wont seems to work..maybe because its right besides my sage which drives off any clingy spirits. have it buried within my pot of clingy gigantic photos. may it root and grow in time. hindi parin paawat? 😅
-felt strong about the stupidity and the corruption behind faceshields.. thats why i hate pouring my views in social Media.. it only cause eyebags
10/21
-had my usual hair cut with kuya jhune and i told him how stressed i am about comelec registration.. telling him its now my 3rd attempt to fall in line for hours without sleep to register only to find out walk in is already exhausted. he said why do we have to suffer for someone who eventually steal our taxes. ok? ahaha
-iba.. mey point din si kuya 😅
-mey pagasa ka pa ba, Pilipinas kong minamahal?
-cruised that night while the moon is so bright. passed by Francis.up again, this time is worse, he is not in the mood and wont want to be with me at all. never felt, what was the word, rejected? gosh.. never had that feeling for a long long time.
-read and learn the art of detachment
10/20
-done watching
the end of the fucking world s1 to s2 and got some hangover frm it specifically with my accent. nah not really but it really hits me. that crazy kind of lovin.
-saw a falling star just like in kimi no nawa, and my first mutter is:
sana magkatuluyan kami ni unggoy
10/19
-clear and chilly night walknunder the almost full.moon
-got an overdose of coffee and sweets. im having this giddy feeling and throwing it over to unggoy. sent him mushy msges via telegram. even sent julie's cover of Hale's kung wala ka.. gosh.. here i go again.
10/18
-rereading my journal last year, i have this obsession with zaeed as well last year. so my feelings for Francis.Up is just another of my tendencies.
-i should be much way better than this. and i guess im just being silly
-since russ shared me bjork orkestral i got this never fading intensity for my old favorites specially you've been flirting again, unison and harm of will.
10/17
-finally had this knl.daks penetrated and bred me.
-thought saw francis.up and sucked him but it was a mistaken identity.
-kind unsatisfied, messaged ronan and we did again and made a video of me eating his cum. amusingly how im still ?meeting up with him since our first time in 2010
10/16
-my infatuation for francis.Up deepens and i got crazier.
-i even made a withcraft sort of ritual made out of the condom with his seamen and put some of my lashes as if his feelings for me will grow back overtime.
and sand that washes back to the shore when the sea rises.. as if his feelings and his lust goes towards me again.
10/13-15
-im in a mess
10/12
-my insanity for francis.UP continues
-have to do the four cloves meditation by thich nhat hanh for freshness
-have to remind myself that these are my tendencies just like what i had for saeed, jade and dave. that this infatuation will simply fade.
10/11
-having this overwhelming infatuation for francis.UP
insane liking overload specially he blocked me in telegram. why do i have this tendency i love those guys who doesn't like me as much as i liked them.
-i need a doctor
-my insanity over francis.UP spiked when i pass him by at University ave the night im heading to work. at first i find this guy so hot then realized it was him. nangamusta and separate ways.. tried to be casual but deep inside i am torn into pieces.
-had coffee and do some self help. read the ff:
The Real Reason Your Crush Doesn't Like You Has Everything To Do With You
https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/reason-crush-like/1637050
and ultimately, from thich nhat hahn:
https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/31/how-to-love-thich-nhat-hanh/
10/10
-met with francis.UP finally for the 2nd time and finally being penetrated by him and also kissed him. grabeh, gwapong gwapo ako sa kanya specially when he finally removed his mask and kissed me. i melt
-watched mientras duermes. in a moment, i felt like im in the crowd cheering, as if it's one of those film festivals that have a standing ovation right after the screening. like wow.. bravo.. 👏
it's one of the best films ive seen in a long time.
10/09
-have a date with unggoy, he is adorable. went to marikina riverbanks. we cruised together and then we had dinner and then we had a beer. we talked all night long. one of the best moment is when we stroll ang the banks until calumpang at night and the place was so magical.
10/08
-had my 1st dose of vaccination
with rhoda at up bahay ng alumni. we are suppose to be scheduled at 2:30pm, but we had it at 8am. our body, our rules.. ahahah
10/04
-i slept like theres no tomorrow
-i guess this is so.weird for.me.to.say but im not ready for the whole world to go back to normal
10/03
-got to UP being so tired from walking the last night
-then got an invite from 3rdflr 6footer and it was a great session although it was just for one dose
-still horny after the session, went to UP to cruise, damn i able to hu with 4 guys. the finale was the ultimate tall hung and screw me raw. it was one of the best encounters i ever had we change telegram details and he said it was his hottest encounter too. i cant forget him. even with a mask on his eyes are so damn cute. i saw his face when i asked for his face pics. i wasnt mistaken, he is indeed gwapo
-i asked for his telegram and his profile name is @unggoy
10/02
-visited monette to attend her hubbys bday celebration
-just for thrill, and looking for possible hookups, went to guadalupe but no luck, the people i saw in person doesnt match up with what they have on their profile.
-so i walk along edsa from guadalupe, boni, shaw and ortigas.. went from one memory lane to another.
10/01
-met vincent lloyd ricardo, he is an ultimate type. done body charging with him
-when i met him and we booked a room, is this an early honeymoon??. if both of us dont have work that night, i could have asked for us to stay longer.
