31/10
-one helluva of fun with the kids at IES with their Halloween party. Spent my all allowance with the sweets, share it random and had sugar rush.. without it my energy might have all drained.
One of the best moments in my teaching life.
30/10
-almost cried as one of my students from Pakistan gave me a gourmet level basmati rice (imagine with tamarind and lemon) smells like heaven.. and the rice! Never had a happy tummy ever
-paella party with my co teachers! Now I felt belong and loved. Sit in between profe Enca and Jose Fran . Had so much fun and food!!!
I felt the universe is getting kinder to me
10/27-29
-vera helped me with my remaining balance for my apartment. gosh.. now mahimutang na akong kalag for my immediate payables.
it's been ages since i saw her and even talked to her. it is my greatest wish to be with her this xmas. i know its quite late (compared to russ and chai who already visited her ages ago) but again, its better late than never.
will definitely catch up with her during the holidays.
also got extra for some groceries and stuck my portion of my refrigerator space.
-just simply sleep, eat well and feel the rainy days.
-re watched suspiria
-just simply shooting down my roots.
10/26
-had my biggest salary ever. 20eur for an hour! I had this one on one English tutoring with Profe Jose Ramon's daughter, Isabel.
10/25
-for almost 1 month here in Spain, its my first time i felt the universe is now treating me right once again.
Meet enzo, my co auxiliar. The filam from the Philadelphia. I toured him around Estepona. Finally had my first rice! Since i left Philippines!
Also had coke of which i haven't drink for ages and then we hang out at terraza street while me having my coffee and pan au chocolat.
It was a marvellous day. Full of heart warming talks, realisation and thrill since we ran just for him to catch his bus. 😅
10/24
-meet Gibraltar guy once again, he really is my weakness, this time i kissed him passionately. He happened to be an Arabic/middle eastern. We did it at the park near Santiago's outdoor sculpture museum. He is very verbal and into outdoor adventure. So he is an awesome regular fubu.
-had a long talk with russ. It happened to be his rest day so i told him about his japanese tea container gift that i make as an heirloom ware present, of which i gifted to MarÃa as my token of gratitude of having me as her tenant. It's now part of her collection and has a special place at her home.
Finally confessed with russ about my reason why i want him to hate me during my "leave of absence" from our friendship circle. Apologised about it and we had a great laugh.
10/23
-still can't believe im here in Spain. There are times makurat pa kog kalit.
-i kept on walking along the ( cobbled stone ) sideways and now i can simply see the beauty of it. The blue skies, the sea gull dashing through it. The not so piercing sun. Just breathe in the beauty
10/21-22
-blessed with russ' help. Manage to get breakthrough from my financial shortage 😅
He really is more than a best friend to me, a brother and a life time cooperator.
-going through a lot of walking lately just to clear my mind specifically with the pending paperwork that i have to go through here in Spain. Laban lang as they say.
10/19-20
-mamu's birthday is upcoming. Hit by some melancholia but manage with a video call with them in the Philippines. Able to show them around where i currently residing and even towards the promenade across the beach. Greet mamu in advance straight from Spain and i guess that alone was a nice present to her.
-i am so touched by my kuya Carlo's support. He didn't pressure me with my payables as i told him my issue with my paperwork and not able to obtain extra work to pay my loan. He is simply the best.
-roam around the marina where i able to see their kind of changgi and finally see the mini port with those huge fishes.
-had a steamy encounter with the carrefour express counter guy.
-had it with the calle sevilla guy. We kind having it as a weekly thing
-with lucas, well, i guess it's also just for sex. And since we run out of condom, we haven't met for some time now.
10/18
-im on my verge of nothingness again. Never felt so poor in my life. Just passed by trocadero, as i looked at the who's who in Estepona with their fine dining. At the nearby park, right beside santiago de Santiago's sculpture museum, i ate my loaf of bread with few thin slices of caña de lomo, in the dark, with only the moon and the sea accompanies me. This is all i could afford as i swiped my remaining hundreds in my Philippine bank account at the carrefour express.
-i have this teacher crush at IES Tomas Hormigo, his name is Robert. I won't be surprized if I later find out he is married. just like most of the teachers there. its just that they are so guapo. ahaha
but too bad. i had this very upset stomach and the brocolli diet i had gave me so much smelly gasses, one time, i really cannot hold it anymore and have to fart, and then suddenly profe Roberto went inside (of all time!) i felt soooooo embarrassed and cannot stop overthinking that he got turned off.. which is for sure.. facepalm, sighing..
10/16-17
-marvelled the full moon, my first ever full moon here under the Spanish skies.
-my highlights in my teachings are:
*Marissa's class as i had story telling about the moon. Elena's dream.
*Josefran's math class. Shadowing/trust workshop.
*Jose Manuel's history class with "paint me a picture"
-finally meet with Lucas again. Now I'm able to see him closer and closer. He is around 5'9 or 5'10. His hair color is like burnt driftwood. Ash brown/grey. We did it again in their basement. First time he s*** me.
10/15
-for today, i just want to be grateful for:
*I don't have much money but at least I have a roof over my head
*I was able to do groceries and able to cook good food
*I have a very nice and accommodating coordinator and landlady. I cannot imagine living here in Spain without them
*My friends and my family
*Never been physically sick despite of all the stress and trials I've been through
10/13-14
-just a chill out weekend since it's raining hard i simply stay in my bedroom
-although there are times when i have to go out but i was soaking wet with rain. I have no umbrella and most people here don't use them at all.
-had my usual pan au chocolat and tried my first ever peach pie and ate it by the sea
-found my kind of beach further on the left side facing the sea. It reminds me of melancholic shores of cebu. With some drift woods and clear waters.
10/12
-finally able to complete this month's rent with the help of sheen. I received my signed letter for empadronamiento and in return, provided her one of my precious gifts i inherited from Russ.. the Japanese tea keeper with the lavender from provence France, said to her jokingly it was an heirloom ware and it's east meet west. She was so happy and I'm glad we kind of having this housemate connection going on even at this point.
-waited all night long for Lucas but he was with his friend of which i let him be. Now he's too tired to meet me. Oh well, there will always be tomorrow.
-meet the c sevilla guy.. this time he pound me well in his bedroom. It's weird when i feel like he is a husband material kind of love making. Maybe his is too huge and it made me wide open.
-meet a guy from Gibraltar. My type of Middle Eastern guy. First bareback as he is into prep as well. We did it at parque infantil.
-i thought i saw lucas as i got home. Im not sure if what we have will work. Well, at least what he made me feel is that he is my Spanish lover.
10/11
-first time to be drenched in a rain. So i thought the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain but now it is happening..
-had a great time doing the game for Angel's class. As i ride with Ignacio, confessed about my rock of Gibraltar experience, just letting go of my darkest hours and he is there to listen and empathise with me.
-ordered half roasted chicken and some fresh patatas fritas.. had my first proper meal after 2 weeks. For the first time in a long time used my favourite phrase:
"ang sarap mabuhay kapag ang sarap ng pagkain"
That hits the spot. Contented. just sleep all day.
10/10
-my days are now getting better. And as Ignacio put it, you can simply "laugh all about it."
-meet bagets aka baby love for the 2nd time. We did in their home as his mother is away for the day. It was as intense as our first and we made a video (for his keeping ). he asked for my name this time, and also found out his name is Lucas.
-finally able to find the perfect place to stay at the heart of Estepona. My landlady is Maria, she grew up in this house so every corner feels cozy.
And with all my things unpacked, gifts from my friends and loved ones, I'm starting to feel at home here in Spain.
10/09
-really having a tough time.
- it feels as if i was stranded in camotes with russ, but this without russ and i am outside the country. Since i missed my stop in estepona and here i am in Gibraltar late at night, no bus going back, cabify is way too expensive 120eur and too late for getting any hostel check ins, i have no choice but to spend the cold wintry nights here in this remote coast. The earliest bus later in the morning is not until 7:40am.
Tried sleeping in a park but its windy, tried in a secluded area but there was so many mosquitoes and then finally there was this stage or cultural center that faces the famous rock of Gibraltar.. so here i am cold, hungry and tired. I thought im going to freeze to death. Im glad i was able to survive. I hope this was the darkest hour of my stay here in Spain.
I miss my warm sheets at my hostel. Messaged my coordinator, Ignacio that i cannot make it to class today (called in sick since i literally shiver due to cold the whole night) and sleep/recuperate the whole day.
-messaged two of my sister in laws (and ex in laws).. jess and and sheen. Jessie knows im home sick and sheen knows i am financially challenged. Cried my heart out (silently and secretly) inside my bunk.
-dreamt of russ. We were like talking virtually and then we are taking high five in person. As if the distance between us is a mere glass window.
-finally meet and make a deal with a wonderful landlady. Her name is Maria. Now i finally feel at home in estepona with the help of Ignacio and his friend, Carlos.
10/08
-woke up twice.. crying
1st i dreamed about lola consor.. as she dies in my arms. I hugged her til her last breath
2nd rem, i saw my mom.. she is sad for me and i cried all my worries that i have been through here in Spain.
-i guess i am home sick
-went to malaga convention and finally saw my fellow pinoys auxie (expand)
-missed my stop in estepona and my bus went straight to Gibraltar
-kafla esque experience in Gibraltar
10/07
-Monday madness, able to handle it well in class. I am so hyped with my "get to know me" session.
Of which i brought in culture, arts, history and even sustainability on the table.
-unlock: how to take a trip via major autobus
Able to score ticket going to mà laga center
10/06
-spiritual talk with rhoda. 1st ever online session overseas. Was able to show her around my neighbourhood. It was a great and peace filled session.
-was super stressed with my apartment situation. It is still unavailable for occupancy and my funds are depleting. Good thing this bagets (aka baby love) might be in his early 20s. He messaged me and we made out in their basement. Super hot encounter. He is my 3rd Spanish local guy.
10/05
-walked around estepona antiguo.. allow myself immersed into the century old walls and ancient cobbled stones. breathing the citrusy smell of the riping oranges, looking at it, it reminds me of denisa reyes' gift painting (guache? or acrylic on wood): the orange tree.
a manifestation framed within
10/04
-need to let my guards down and simply surrender. Went to the beach and finally took my first dip for the first time.
-called russ in NY and we talk about being from milk brother, to blood brother, to migratory brothers. I am so glad to get the same sentiment from him of being away from home.
10/03
-was super impressed how Spanish keep valuables as it is. i left some documents on the waiting shed and they made sure to put some weights on it so it wont get lost. i'm touched.
-walked around the neighborhood and here is the hidden patio where melacomes and i had an outdoor fun.
My first ever Spanish d*** in Spain:
10/02
-first day to finally meet the students with my "getting-to-know-you" presentation.
my first was with Santi with his tech class where they are about to prepare skeleton banderetas for the upcoming halloween.
encountered a half filipino of which he totally resonates with me.
and was super thrilled with their warmth.
-finally see the coast of which i kept on googling and experience sunrise for the first time since i arrived.
-called chai as i sent her the pic of the scent that we we made together (insert pics..)
10/01
-orientation day.
-i am so glad i'm in good hands with Ignacio as he totally hands on with me and he let me introduce to the other teachers. met this romanian teacher had a Kerouac-esque experience when he first arrived in spain. now he is on his 6th year as a teacher. i am super inspired.
-there is this one guy in the neighbourhood who is very persistent. i thought he is of a small size and not good looking since he doesn't show pics. but in his profile he is a 6 footer guy and he seems pretty hung so i finally meet him in his ancestral home and gosh. he is fairly good looking and gosh he is huge. he is a dominant top and i am submissive so it was a good pair.
