had ventosa
10/26
missed sir bams meeting
10/24-25
pnp with jade again for almost 24 hours
it was super hot and i got orgasm while he fucked me (while high)
which never happened to me before
it was the best highest level form of sex so far.
i also love it while it rains (typhoon quinta) we just talked, smoke weed and drink hot chocolate . we had a great time.
it just it makes me worried about his eyes due to extreme blindfold and his bruised veins.. i keep on praying he will be ok and recover fast
10/19
watched viridiana, and realized, i was the character who was self punishingly principled, isolated and frustrated, thats why i cant forgive saeed, yet.
10/18
-visited russ in his apartment in north syquia
welcomed with puto manga sikwate
-had some joints
-talk with lemuel
-overwhwlemed with the giant crabs
-i was genuinely happy
10/17
moments with chenny in que memorial circle, bought some pots and cant help but adore the plants but still dont want to buy. but might made an exception with the orchids
also had moments with him in my bhaws where we repot some of my plants, went to church and attended a mass since gcq started (its been so long since the last time)
-bbq moments
10/08
i was able to reintouch with my 13 yo me
was struggling with sleep and i felt my life is slipping away so i do an inner journey.
did my usual lighting of leaves, smoke filled my room, then did yoga. the moment i had pressed my reset button the near my ears.. i was my 13yo self, deaf ears under water.
its my transition from my innocense in bantayan to the struggles i wil have in cebu city.
it made sense. 13 is my cross road
redefine happiness
oct 1
completely, and in total surrender,
i have now fully embraced the synchonosity in chaos.
oct 2
my heart still had this warm glow, when i finally accepted and declared to one of my core friends, the sea and the rain as witnesses, that i am the least ambitious but i am the most contented.
