Stoic

while closed eyes and flowing with my own breathing,
my first yoga teacher impart this concept, that until now, it reverberates inside my core:

all our lives, we keep striving on:
GAINING

today,
learn the art of
LOSING

"ocean eyes"

was playing billie eilish in my head while swimming earlier. athletes swam me by as im imagining them as dolphins, seals and baby whales.

billie's songs make me sad. except her come out and play track.

usually, once im sad, i usually go to beach and swim and have all those salty tears mingle with the sea. then i immerse myself and scream on top my lungs under water. soaking myself in. until those waves of comfort calms me down.

it's been a while since i cried. it's been a while since my eyes became an ocean of emotion. i kinda miss it that i wanna fake it. one can't be constantly happy, you know?

eigasai is coming, up until now i havent watched poolside man. instead, was watching stranger things 3 and there was a pool scene where there are hot mamas swimming in their 80's inspired make-up.

i tried to focus on my breathing and strokes. I noticed the water is unusually clean on a friday. and i like how they keep it warm at night.

then i closed my eyes and billie eilish is still on my mind, crying black ink.