-post holiday, busy
05/30
-for my 4 day weekend, i just reminisce who are my best sex for this year so far. and it will be the medical guy from perpetual sucour and also this motor cycle guy in biri.
05/27
-long weekend for me
-partee invites, end up with 3sum. the other one looks like paolo contis, while the other one is a 5'11 guy.. it was hot encounter
05/26
-finally submitted my 1st chapter, then reward myself watching Netflix: jigaro and the witness
-got insomnia due to hot weather
05/25
-breakfast with the gang team sakalam at finio.. it was a hearty meal
05/24
-talked with daryl and he mentioned about his std symptoms. cant help but got worried about him
-what bothers him bothers me so i got to help him. help him unload the emotional and psychological weight
-insomnia strikes me. things that bothers me:
work load/system issue
academic papers
05/23
-sit in on an oral defense
-realized ang layo ng study ko, gosh 😅
-still depressed
-finished watching the haindmaiden and have that strong feeling to rewatch the portrait of the lady on fire.
-both are mesmerizing yet, just like the poet's choice, i love a sad ending
05/22
-went to cainta in the middle of rainy thunderstorm via angkas (motorbike) in the city. crazy. the guy who im suppose to meet cant be contacted for hours, i passed by gerald's familiar place (my ex) so
-i went inside gerald's subdivision and try to re envision what we had before. soaking in around his neighborhood 5 years ago
my memory of the place is totally vague and cant even locate his place. what i remember is our early morning breakfast of which he is the one who prepares and our walks going in and out his subdivision
-still the guy who im suppose to meet didn't msge, so i went inside Robinsons cainta and had massage, it was really good. i felt sooo sleepy after.
-finally meet my date and just spent the night with him but je snores so loud and became restless so i took my may home
05/21
-weekend, supposedly meet carri and josh but got upset with simple matter, as simple as my favorite pair in nomu not available. it stress the hell out of me and never knew it was already depression
-im becoming scatter brain again
-turned down lots of invites
-even walked out from a 3sum with a couple as felt weird and i just cant stand it.
-walk along visayas ave while listening to murakami's afterdark. my seemingly favorite book when i felt im in the dark
05/16-20
-onset of rainy season
-i just wanna stay in bed
-i dont feel like doing anything
-feel unpretty
02:15
05/15
-went bathing in the rain
-bjorks headphones ringing in my mind. done movements
-never had so much peace since post election
05/14
-session at chill top with carri, xy, becca and be with didi's weeping over a heart breaking love affair
05/13
-healing comes in prayer
attended the pasasalamat rally at ateneo and comforted with overflowing peace and love
05/11-12
need healing
05/10
-broken
di ko na mabilang ilang beses na ako ma heartbroken, pero sa araw na to, parang feeling ko 10x more yung hapdi.
its weird since this time, its not due to a break up. not because binusted ni crush, or nag loko si boyfriend. it is because of the love of one's motherland. maybe because this is my first na hindi romantic yung heartbroken, akalain mo, at 37, na fe feel ko pa to?!
kaya di ko mapigilang umiyak. ng sobra sobra.
yung hagolhol habang naglalakad pauwi na wala kang paki if mey makakita sa yo na ibang tao..
gayunpaman, na aamazed parin ako sa universe sa mga walang katapuzang zurpriza.. bringing back a childlike wonder. life indeed never fails to amaze me.
bagaman, mey ngiti at umaapaw na kapayapaan dala ng yakap ng kanyang hiwaga.
kapit-bisig
tumindig
sa pag ibig
🌸❤️🌸
05/09
-election day, went to UPIS 11am qnd its almost 1 the queue inside is still too long
done voting and freshen up exactly at 13:51
gosh almost 3 hours 😅
rm 311
cluster 1192
i never felt so awake and so alive for a long time.
this is the most beautiful fight that i am proud i took part of.
yung hirap at pagod na napapawi ng saya at pag asa ay ni kailanman makaka limutan sa laban na to.
this era nurtured within me a sincere reconnection and pure intimacy with estranged family members, long lost friends and even random strangers. i mostly isolate and now i found myself engaging with a large community. these are just few of the wonders i will forever treasure.
i will consider this as my golden, or rather, the pinkiest era ever in my life until my dying day.
i am, forever, grateful.
🌸🙏🌸
05/07
-went to meeting de avanci at makati
-got lucky to get near the stage and saw vp leni and her senatorial candidates
