30/09
-woke up really well and practiced to get up and never get back to bed.
-done morning walk and get familiar with the route going to school
-hike towards Parque La Dehesa. This time, I'm no longer homeless. Gosh, I've gone through a lot of tough times.
-done waterfall shivasana position with thich nhat Hahn's going home to the body guided meditation:
https://youtu.be/WzgJsLllDy4?si=dL_A4aOVncYItqhZ
I cried. overwhelmed with all the trials I've gone through and overcome.
-had my favorite pair of cafe doble con leche and croissant deliciouso in sampedro
-met this intern doctor near the church and supposedly just cuddled but we had sex. He looks like a rough version of Javier Bardem
-update chicka with lyza and alex as they are settling in their town of assignments: murcia and Canary island
-felt exhausted and had a long nap
-watched and inspired with bea Padilla's karen davila interview and madonna with shetty:
"You're not the owner of the light, you are just managing the light"
"The worst things make out the best things in your life"
-what a great day to end the month of September
29/09
-meet joana paola in henares as i get my remaining stuff. Dine at their balcony and had a wonderful catch up
-went back to Villalba and was welcomed by Esther and her daughters plus her Irish son in law. It was marvelous to be surrounded by English speaking peeps and i felt all my worries melted away (anxieties of being a new tenant co living with the owner) they even shared their wifi with me. Such a treat. I am so happy.
-watched Desert Heart (1985) and I was astounded with the screenplay. It is so smooth yet powerful. My fascination with lesbian movies is getting more intense.
-Back to back it with Yorgos' The favourite. I love how these slap to the face submissions speak so much volume in my current situation
-i realized it's officially my 1st year here in Spain.
-done breathandflow sleep yoga for the first time in a long time. When was the last? In castel'azarra? Also my first time in my room here in Collado Villalba
28/09
-rested and woke up well.
-msged uk chubuff guy but no response. i guess he is refraining from future hurt. He just let me know he is now at the airport heading back to the UK
-went back to madrid and head on the Esther's recommendation: CaixaForum. But before that i head to pum pum bakeshop for my usual coffee. I had my cappuccino with three shots. But i still end up dozing off with the art installation of sky watching.
27/09
-chai's bday. Post her video of playing the rain drum. a bday and send off melody as I'm about to fly to Spain the day after.
-meet this 27 year old arab guy (ref said.villalba) . Gosh he is so youthful and i love his manly scent. We made love in my room. And was able to suck all his cum, every drop of it.
25-26/09
-i still found myself in lavapíes. It's a comfort place for me now. So i still eat in my favorite brasa gaucha grill for their 3 course lunch menu that includes steak and wine for only 18eur.
-went to the Prado museum. Aside from their usual collections, my top three would be Velasquez ' fragua de Vulcan with the guy 2nd to the right. the duke of Gandía with his leggings and already rotten wife and ultimately Goya's handsome and sexy model on the cross of which i kinda fell drawn to.
-i am able to grocery and just like Kiki (re watched: kiki's delivery service) all of my budget is diminishing away. But i was able to cook the meal that I wanted to and how I wanted it to be. The last time i felt this way was in Estepona. That was 3 months ago.
-i had the place to myself. Clean the house, water the plants and take care of my new two cat housemates, balu and santi. I felt peace and at home.
-went to las rosas and talked with jazel Kristen while on the phone. We are so engrossed with our chika that I missed my bus and got lost but managed and met this morboso guy who came inside me 3 times. He is huge and he eat my ass even after he fucked me. He is good.
24/09
-last day in the hostel. Will be leaving Centro madrid for a while and go further north to Collado Villalba.
-slept well, dreamt episodes and woke up somewhere on the right side of the bed.
-went to my favorite coffee shop, pum pum bakeshop.
-had lunch with uk buff guy at Brasa Gaucha Grill Madrid. Nice outdoor sunny setting. Good value for the money food. And good conversation. It was lovely.
Just found out his real name, Nic. I wish he could stay here in Madrid a bit longer. But he is going back to England this Sunday and then spending a year in Australia. He is half Romanian (or austrian) i jokingly he is like harry Potter, a half mogul. He laughed. Walked him to his Airbnb and have to set foot towards my new place in Collado Villalba. I grew fond of him but i guess that's all there is to it.
-next chapter awaits.
23/09
-everything will be and should be fine. I keep on reminding myself. There's so much major shift specially with my housing in Collado Villalba but as always i am not in the position to complain. I will simply trust the universe and myself that i can go along with whatever changes presented to me.
-Feeling attached with uk chubuff guy. I thought we were going to see each other tonight but he had other plans. My sex addiction flaired up to mask the loneliness. Tried to bang with this hot latino guy in the shower room, who i thought was cruising because he strut nakedly outside the curtains of the shower room, but he ends up a homophobe and i almost get into trouble. Well at least i tried.
22/09
-shocked with the temperature drop. From 40c yesterday afternoon to 8c this morning. I was shivering to death.
-goodbye summer and bello cold cold Autumn.
-meet Slobi, an upcoming aux who's also looking for a place in Collado Villalba. Had coffee and spent some time with him in retiro. We had a wonderful talk.
-meet uk chubuff guy once again and we had dinner and movie night in his airbnb. Was kind of saddened to know that he only has until Sunday here in madrid and he is moving to Australia. We had sex twice. Before dinner and after our 1st movie. We slept after our 2nd movie. It was a homey kind of bonding.
21/09
-tried pnp after a long long time (after almost a year) with the chem of my preference. I just need it after so much stress about place hunting.
-got so much horny and i have wonderful sex specially this chubuff guy from the UK (see ref). We have sex and cuddle for hours.
-when it rains, it pours. Had one of my best sex with this hung guy from lavapies (ref lavapies dude). Felt a great connection with him as well. Hope to be his regular fuckbuddy here in Madrid
-was inspired by Jessica sanchez. Simon reminds us that we can give up but we can keep on. Timing is everything.
-able to found and reserved a room in Collado Villalba. Met esther and her partner. I'm quite uncomfortable with the idea that i will be living with the owner. But what can I do. I'm running out of options, resources and time. I will simply submit and trust that i will be fine.
20/09
-im feeling the vibes of Madrid. It makes me feel like im on 20's again. With madonna confession on the dance floor on my earbuds. The road is my walkalator.
-walk back to retiro and have this awesome cruising with a french guy in the middle of a busy day. Swallowed his cum and he kissed me thanks afterwards. That was fun.
19/09
-visited el Retiro for the first time. I had my ears for the classical opera playlist. Most of the tracks are introduced by Russ ages ago, but it's just now that its hitting on me. I mean, i am in the middle of it all: Europe.
And what better way to really immerse and feel it when I'm here mismo.
18/09
-started my new day felt regenerated. I am on my elements again. In the midst of this uncertainties and difficulties, my heart knows peace and how to retrieve it back.
-walk around the bellies of Madrid. The beauty and the ugly. And came across this bakeshop that i thought a hangover's pitstop. And i was mesmerized by their pastries, reminds me of turkish delights! Fresh and delectable even early in the morning. The place is quiant with oh i just woke up kind of vibes but once you had your pair of cappuccino and pistachio croissant, my innards are definitely fully wide awake.
-met joana paula and we dine en plaza mayor with an ongoing fashion show. My first time to reserve a table and first time to witness an intl fashion show ever! It's Carolina Herrera, although i wish its Alexander mcqueen or commes de garcons or maison margella but the show was totally marvelous.
17/09
-slept all day/night long
15-16/09
-i almost got robbed by this moroccan while i was eating along the park waterways in Collado Villalba. It's weird but instead of getting panicky i invited him to eat with me. And he was beyond grateful that he hugged and kissed me on the neck. Good thing he is handsome. i feel merciful towards him and i felt the reasons behind my self-pity is nothing compared to his situation. He definitely has to succumb to doing things because of his difficulties.
-my apartment hunt didn't go well and i can't go on without proper sleep so i went to Levapies and slept in a hostel.
14/09
-officially in Madrid. Started with a hot 28 year old hung arabian as we did it in terminal 1 CR. That was intense and hot. Now im ready to start my new chapter 🥵😅🤤
-reunite with Joana Paula (london school co tutor) in her town at alcala de henares. Coffee and walk along the old streets
-tried to figure out madrid railways and its confusing connections
-almost had a heart attack when i thought i rode the wrong train going to Léon. Good thing it stopped in Collado Villalba
-my house hunting got postponed tomorrow, so i end up nowhere to stay
-didn't opt for hotels but i splurged on food. And went kafka-esque at their nature reserve park. Unknowingly the freezing cold won't allow me to sleep. It feels like a purple liquid ice freezing me to death. So i explore collado Villalba in the wee hours past midnight
13/09
-last day in Milan and first day in Madrid.
-reminisce about the things i've gone through this summer in Italy and now felt a kind of steering for whatever waits for me in Madrid.
-said my goodbyes and thank yous to the zurzulo family RAfaele, Anna, Leticia, Davide and Simone. They are very sweet and i am very grateful for hosting me.
10-12/09
-as always, it feels ecstatic after the final show. This week also a blur and strangely felt tired and not so thrilled. My creative juices are dwindling but i guess I made a decent presentation. This is my last summer camp and i can do just as much. I badly need a break.
-rewatched ponyo with Simone. And went for gelato with him. There is so much joy in their hearts.
-received so many hugs and i felt empowered by my young students in Arcadia Feraboli.
-shed a lot of baggages. From 20 kilos to 7. I guess i really need to let go of my 10+ year old clothes and memorabilia.
-Time to create new memories.
09/09
-watched spirited away with Davide. It reminds me of my childhood courage.
-have a hard time sleeping. My Italian honeymoon for more than 3 months is about to end. Now i have to prepare for my new journey in Spain. All of a sudden i felt so much whirring inside me for my upcoming new life in Madrid this autumn.
07-08/09
-my host family doesn't go out as much as my other host family so i took the initiative to take out the kids to the nearby ruins (farms) and some adventures on the field
-saw the lunar eclipse with the kids, davide and simone
-went to the mother theresa chapel, it's one of the quietest place I've been to.
-Simply rest
06/09
-bond with Pitiglianhoes as we end our summer camp in the area. Later chika over coffee and gelato at a quaint paticeria with karl and olivia.
-had a quick stop at Florence and simply got lost on the tracks as my train was delayed
-back in Milan after 3 months here in Italy
05/09
-i had my usual post presentation high. I really had a wonderful show about the legend of Castell'azarra and i received so much love from my kids.
-had a pizza party in la rossa dei venti from the families of my students.
-meet baby Shayn, the mother of Ariah who is a Filipina. She married an Italian. she told me her story and how she managed to be in Italy for 10 years. We really had a wonderful talk and i got inspired by her. She also brought me Filipino food. Lucky me pancit canton, Argentina corned beef and spam. Rice and mega sardines. I was teary eyed with joy. May God bless her and her family for this wonderful gift since i was craving for filipino food all these times 😅🤤
03-04/09
-following the resurgence of the stars, sent a follow request to Jack.
-i am compelled to say this, that before i usually stay in one place for 5 years and have a vacation once in a while. So every vacation is fully celebrated.
Now I feel like I'm on vacation in different places and different people, all the time. Instead of being celebratory, i felt solitary. So i miss having a stable permanent place. A constant home and a constant companion.
-now i just found out that i am a fan of lesbian films.. before i got weirded off with women following the BL series. Now i understand the fascination. I just love the vanilla slow burn king of love in contrast to my usual straight to the point sexually charged hunting.
-i am wanting to watch and finish a film
But i always have little time after dinner. So this short YouTube video came across my feeds and this made me cry:
https://youtu.be/c-5Quo5Q3eI?si=pfwIMscuCK3sJsnk
02/09
-walk to the cemetery of castell'azarra and be reminded about how precious my remaining days are. Dedicated a song mio babino carro in exchange for a wish: to find my true love and spend many years together with peace, love and happiness.
01/09
-i thought i have blurred eyes when i enter my room here in castel'azarra, but it's actually fog creeping in.
-had my first day on my 8th week summer camp and they are relatively small but adorable
-phone call with kaye, olivia and Karl and we rummage for today's work. I still can't go over with diamond's eccentric persona specially with her wearing shades in the middle of the night, so olivia and kaye were right, she has a world of her own.
-also talk about this Neil, who all of a sudden messaged me in WhatsApp. Asked Olivia why he asked my number from her, she said he had a crush on me. Let's see how this goes
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