UP Fair 2012

This might sound funny but this 5 day event with various bands and artists is the closest I could get on how to feel like being in Coachella or in Glastonbury. Was an avid fan of rock fest way back in Cebu and so far this could be the biggest gathering I’ve been. Was planning to take a half day leave or to come in late for work to catch my favorite acts such as: Imago, Kitchie Nadal and Moonstar88 but too bad, I just had a memo last night from my boss so I need to “behave” this time. So I just manage to ditched office on my 1 hour break and went to UP sunken garden. And there, I was able to catch Gary V live. And he sang: Minsan Lang Kita Iibigan and Sana Maulit Muli.

Although was expecting some kick ass indie rock music but wasn’t that bad at all. In fact it was awesome to hear Gary V live again, and those two songs are in fact nationally renowned and did pluck some old memories. so I lighted a cig while listening to him sing from afar and puffing with the idea that at least I’ve made it to my first UP Fair experience. I wish I could stay much longer.

But wait, this was just the 2nd leg, I could still catch this Saturday and hopefully would have much much fun. As in, MORE FUN.

Yeah, yeah, here are some of the bands I know that are included on the final leg of UP Fair 2012: Updharma Down, Urban Dub and Parokya

See yah!

an encounter with the garapataman

Before the exhibit, I came across with this article from PDI about “garapataman”
and before this exhibit; We already have this at CubaoX


me and greys at future x cubaoX with "Gara"
Was quite interested how this cuddly looking sketch of a parasite could be paralleled with our country's current over population. Just like how this tick could propagate into thousands, Dexter Fernandez’ artwork was multiplied into a vast and insanely crowded graffiti and was painted over layers of layers of whatever-kind-of-persona-have-you specie of garapata which {evolves into (get involved with each other) another }. Just crazy.

Anyway, here the pics I captured in this event. It wasn’t enough as what I intended to as I’m stuck with my beer and the chaos inside Ronac Art Center


audio visual presentation (such cool graphics and psychedelic punk tracks)


3d gara collectible, artist's collaboration with secret fresh!


attendees' interactive garapata entries


my own version of gara. bleh!


whoa, this band is awesome. it's like getting lost in the wilderness (so the name of the band)
i wanna check out their upcoming gigs


gagagarra gagara pap


photo taken by jun yamamoto of moonkie.com

To Dexter Fernandez’, congrats dude. Salute’

have I been to that place?

I’m staying for more than one and half years now in UP Bliss, which is just few mins away from Diliman area but i found myself dumbfounded when someone asked me: have you tried Chocolate Kiss? Have you been to Rodic's? How about having mang Larry's isaw?

Like, huh? I have no idea.

Aside from UP ikot and the clusters of campuses, I’ve never been “really around” UP Diliman. So I’m half annoyed half curious why the hell am I not able to explore those places in the first place? Maybe because I usually go to UP to jog and eating around is not my priority but not necessarily at the very least of my interests. I usually jog early in the morning or late in the evening so these establishments may not yet open so I failed to check on them. Or let me not deny it. i'm just plain ignorant.

Going back to my kind of UP in Cebu, it would take more or less 5 the size of it to be compared to the area of UP Diliman. So we don’t have the Shopping area and the Bahay ng Alumni etc. I was thinking those famous eateries or diners could be liken to our notable landmarks such as “brown gate” “comeda”.. “shobee”

So pardon me if I need to rest my case to first hand information. As these are not the things that I need to search in a website just to be “knowledgeable”. For me, I’m contented being “familiar” and just surprise me if there’s something more to it.

so last weekend, that surprise hit me like a ten ton truck. Francis brought me to a restaurant in UP Dil but it was already closed, so we went to a place nearby, and it so happen the name of the place is Chocolate Kiss . Although I was kinda awkward and cannot talk to him that day, my mind brought me to a series of realization that gawd, this is the place that had bugged me for all these times! The place is not that grand, it could be any run of the mill diner but what struck me is that they got a grand piano and sort of a fine dining yet laid back ambience. I said in my mind: this is nice.

Had dinner and coffee with him that night. But I’m already certain I will go back there all by myself or with a friend and have coffee while the sun is setting down outside the window. Hopefully the pianist would still be around by then.

gemini

oh, it was such a waste of time
still longing for you to think of me
as what I think of you
thinking, soon, you’ll be mine
quando quando

two sided, two faced
vicious twins, you are
now I rumble
now I fumble
now I tumble
to this confusion on where we heading
a muddy affair
running towards the bushes
a kiss, a cuddle
how soon would it last?
how soon would you change your mind?

a dream, a chance, a possibility,
a cup of coffee, a cloudy day
whirling into the mire



x

how long does it take?

to kick start the National Arts month, went to UP Cine Adarna to watch Limang Libo. Of which i have no inkling what the movie is all about as i just saw it on my timeline, tweeted by @UPFilmInstitute.

there are 4 films that were line up for today, but since I got work at 4:30pm I decided to watch the most convenient for my sched: 2:30, it says on a website. So went there in UP Diliman even though I haven’t took my breakfast or even took a bath as I just woke up. The moment I got there, I was greeted by this girl named Ice who happens to be the director of the film I wanted to watch. Even without a name, I find her cool. So I was about to tell her I’m quite excited for her film but she said they got some technical difficulties and they just setting up the equipment so there will be some delays.

It took me around 4 cigs, 1 fudgee bar and several swigs of iced tea before it all started. It was quite late and I’m sure I’ll be late for work. Surprisingly, most of the entries are short films. I thought I’ve got to watch only 1 film. But I have the option to watch the four of them for a hundred bucks. Awesome.

so I’ve watched the first entry: Hungkag, followed by Limang Libo, then tried to stretch my patience for Tundong Magiliw when I’m really really late at work as my Boss started to ask why am I still not in the office and sadly, I failed to watch Enkwentro (I wish Tundong Magiliw was showed last. I got personal reasons why and it might cause a debate if I blurted it out). Hungkag, in the other hand, put me on a momentary trance for its narrative.

meanwhile, Limang Libo blows me away. The script was so minimal. The scenes were cut precisely, no sec more no sec less. Just what it takes for you to figure it out and find the answer for question why it’s all happening? It axed me with the idea of how the complication of human needs bound us together. Well, no wonder, the film has garnered an award. and how long does it take? 10 mins. Perfect.

so I hurriedly went to work, faced my boss and as of this writing, I haven’t sign a memo yet.

x

Officially,

after several years of breathing and digesting her music, I consider myself a fan. Just got my hands on this original deluxe edition of Biophilia (my fist ever authentic Bjork possession) thanks Julio and to your folks in the states for this.

You just never know how this means to me =)

of watching film festival entries and mainstream

Had this conversation with someone who happened to be a movie buff. He goes to a cinema almost twice a week (dead serious). So there comes to a point when he asked me, what’s the last movie I’ve watched on a big screen. It took me some time before I remembered and answered him that it was Raya Martin’s Buenas Noches España which was shown in UP Cine Adarna. Where there are only 5 audiences including myself. 3 of which walked out in the middle of it as they just can’t figure it out. I survived a David Lynch’s Inland Empire so I think I can withstand whatever experimental movie there is. And much to my company’s surprise, I actually find the film interesting and haunting.

So aside from Buenas Noches, most movies that I watch on a big screen are mostly coming from film festivals (CineEuropa, CinemaOne originals, SpanishFilm Fest, Japanese, Chinese spring film fest and the likes) it might because I can watch most of these “Hollywood” or “mainstream films” in the net (I admit I’m a bad consumer) and I have this notion that I want to invest money or time to something worth watching. And since these movies featured on film festivals have garnered awards and have a nod from the film festival organizers so it’s already an assurance for me that it is good.

But then again, it’s been a while since I’ve watched a good film as these festivals won’t go on a regular basis let alone every week. And I’ve already seen most of my downloaded movies in my laptop. So I decided, just last night, to watch a film that is “mainstream”.

so i landed and got this:







After the film, I can’t help but to tweet about it stating:
Bravo! Watching Sherlock Holmes is such a visual and mental treat!

I watched it in Glorieta 4 instead of Greenbelt 3 (my cinema of preference) and was not disappointed with their THX cinema worth Php200, not bad at all. And never did I get bored or tried to reach for my mobile in between watching the whole thing. So I told him (the movie buff) about it and we’ve decided to see each other after that as he already watched it with his brother. So we talked about the film and how Guy Ritchie and his crew injected modern cinematography into Sherlock Holmes classical plot. Talk and talk and talk about ourselves and we talk about him almost being kidnapped and my hold up experience ages ago and then I found myself shaking his hand for having a good time meeting him finally and saying good night.


I failed to tell him that my first ever pet dog (for seven years) name is Sherlocke.

kampai!

welcoming the new year with millions burnt in the air (taken at ayala triangle via camphone)

(photo courtesy of Society Lounge)

although was away from my family and some of my core friends in Cebu, but had a blast with loved ones who also hold a special place here in my heart. It's my first time to spend my new year's eve here in Manila and it's quite memorable if not the best so far.

gratitude

went to Camp John Hay in Baguio to bring good tidings to the late General Douglas McArthur

season's greetings!

went to Nueva Ecija for the first time to experience pasko sa nayon. Had misa de gallo and nuche buena with Rain Rosales, my bessy Jon Mengua and his family.

i had this shot donning a gift from one of the carolers. as i always sing along with them. she gave this hello kitty x minnie mouse headband as she became my instant friend.

i just love it. thanks!

aorta

when you're smack dab in the middle of it,
you don't have a clue.
you may feel you've been referring to its roots:
entangled,
but have the urge to hold fast,
to appear, closely
to move vertically
never dare to be pulled out
submerged in awareness of existence and confusion
wrapped mystery inside an enigma
The highest emotional state you can feel
as a human being
or at least, a living organism
to be completely intrigued;
lose all your wits and be half crazy
thinking of love and hate as parallels.
frustration and infatuation as parallels.
the core beauty in its force; served as a
delicacy and destruction.
embracing contradiction as noble
falling into a pit
hesitating,
yet anticipating
-the-follow-the-dots puzzle,
where a seemingly random,
accidental spread of points
turns out to have a definite pattern.
psychic bonds
a connection
a sort of mania
stressed in anxiety exerted in emotional conflict
a level of heightened spirituality,
or human understanding
to push it forward
It's painful,
painfully sweet,
ˈsækərɪn
riddled for a collective outlet
a universal Consciousness
sliding into a
single trunk.


x

be my boy

played
on repeat
a mixtape
even when
the sex is taken out of the equation,
there's an audible murmurs of affection
this track has an amazing ability to
guide us through a dreamscape
a series of banalities
obscured in our own words
shared everything
in common with our feminine tendencies.
nurturing and protecting
it is about the intimacy of a lover,
a lover. a boy
who has his mind set on his and his alone.
he understands his body
he understands his needs,
he is not demanding
instead he is giving and wishes to further
worship him,
he is smitten
and taken with him
obviously,
for somehow, he is he
he, as a boy.
in love
with a boy




x

The Dø - Too Insistent (Official Video)

i'm loving this track and the video. love the concept and the imagery.

melancholic yet beautiful


x

glad to see you, Cebu ●‿●

at dolce vita with mango marehs. photo by @dextercastillo =)

i've got to see you
see you
see you in cebu

glad to see you, Cebu



x

mango

mango square, the heart of cebu. it's been a while since the last time i sang & danced with you. make love to me later

sedentary

sedentary leaks, sedentary squeaks
languid and disheveled
what have happened to you my little dear?
What are the things that come up to your head?
poison, broken promises, threesome, hands that smelt of burnt cigarette
pistols, candy wrappers, left over table wine, voltage, an unpaid bill
paper bag, neurons, winged cloud, murmurs, licking bodies, lip gloss
blood stained tub, dancing shemales, antibiotics, and Scottish widows
imaginary phone calls, changing numbers, asking details, age, sex, and location.
a room for two, fresh juice and needles,
eyebugs and bullets.
lackluster eyes,
what are they piercing at?
immobile,
yet you’ve seen yourself passing by
different times and different dimensions.
for you, the world is just a paper cup
raise it and it will be filled.
but how many times will it remain empty?
still waiting and fading away.


x

kill

kill them kill them all before they will kill you the things that you own might end up owning you
kill them smoothly yet swift and sweet not as a self deprivation, but as a form of self preservation
kill them weather it's an object, a person or a place as the moment they own you
there's no more magic there's no more wonder
it's an uphill scherzo of spiral staircase
without definite dead ends

killing them could lead to something new


x

me in highschool and college

ang sekreto sa pangutana

unya,
aduna pa?
aduna ka pay nakit-an sa imong pag laroy laroy
sa kalasangan
diin imong gipakatulog
ang imong mga sekreto?

nahikit-an ba?
kung nahikit-an, nahinumduman pa ba?
o nakit-an kining mga sekreto, pero
sa kalimut?

nawala ang imong kinahanglan
unya kinahanglan nimo ang imong nawala
unsa pa may laing nagpabilin?
ang mga pangutana
kung kanus-a kini ma tubag?
o ang mga tubag, nga kinhanglan pa ug sumpay-sumpay
nga pangutana?

Intawn,
malouy.
Unsa pa may laing nagpabilin
Nga dapat nimo isulti kanako?



x

i've been standing still
across your window
standing still
amongst empty tables
standing
waiting
watching
you from afar
while
you keep on shining
here I am
gathering mist upon my weathered eye
they clump up, build up
into purple clouds


x

passing by the red light district

greys and i planned to watch the Eiga Sai 2011 entry Departures together. we went to Shangrila an hour early to watch the 11:30am schedule only to find out that it's already fully booked and the chance viewers queue is a mile long. good thing there's another schedule but it will be at 9:30pm! so how should we kill the 10 hours in between?

so the mission began. operation kill the boredom.

I introduce greys to bibinkinitan. my favorite stall in Shang where we had a bibinka and kape barako. talk talk talk with our obscure love affairs over smoke. then we went strolling to SM mega mall gallery where we passed by with this art exhibit. i forgot the name of the artist but i can still remember the theme: Red Light District





























the huge scale post modernism paintings and kinky installations sparked our curiousity to come inside. we had a quick chat with the curator and we were supposedly invited for the opening then have some cocktails with the artist but we are running out of time for the Japanese film fest screening.

with some luck and over stretched patience, we were able to get prime seats and watched the award winning Japanese film on the big screen.




photos by Greys Compuesto



x

it’s all about the motion

walking
running
flying
then at the perfect time,
dancing.
it’s all about transformation,
darling
may it be from within.
but then,
there’s a need for migration.
just like the birds from Siberia
they’ve got to land in a warmer terrain
may it be by bus,
by ship
or by plane.
all of us are
leaning towards the flyway
being transported from one place to another.
the science of inventing and reinventing oneself.
It’s a motion,
leaning towards
survival.






photo taken at Ms. Bambi's place in Olango
make up done by Mecca

are you still there, mr. einstein?

cause and effect might have become erratic
the lineage of time might have lost its mind
a universe that coincides within a universe
simple as a pebble washed within the river of happenstance
our fates might have crossed in a much different way
but just like a pendulum of a clock
left hanging in mid air
time this time becomes viscous
an impending crime
swimming against the current
a salmon heading to its birth place to die
was it in a dream
that you were what I’m dreaming of?
then that time,
that universe,
is ours to find.




x

I may die tragically or may die peacefully, but when I die, I want to die beautifully.

It’s through a radio station when I heard this song about dying beautifully. In my mind, I was thinking of a girl walking passed through EDSA and all of a sudden was hit by a speeding Subaru in a tessa prieto valdes ensemble and she swivel into a vogue like pose to her death. Hmm, that would be beautiful. However there might be something more of “living” to consider, to project a significant contrast for dying.

So it coined the question: how to die beautifully? In a universal perspective of something close to beauty: love, dying beautifully would be having a lover’s embrace, a child’s “thank you” or a best friend’s farewell before someone’s last breath could make that death more satisfactory. But when fate is cruel and the shadow of death cast upon someone, just like an unexpected thief in the night, how could anybody make that first and final moment a meaningful one?

Excuse me with this grim topic. You may exit now but if you must, please do go on.

There is this premonition by my close friends that I will die in a car crash. Although I may die differently. May it be drowning, bleeding, suffocating. Or let say by bombing, in an earthquake or tidal wave, or it could be as simple as to die in my sleep. But the thing is I will still die, sooner or later, as everyone else will also die. Although I would like to hate or fear the idea of my impending death but as early as possible I already told myself to accept it as a part of one’s journey. A pit stop of an itinerary.

So to die beautifully, my idea would be this: While I’m still alive, I would do all the drama, the love and the hate that one should feel. It’s a generic story that everyone is having. It’s the same plot in a different location, different language, different people but same topic: live life. Certainly in tears, in laughter, in rage, in passion, tah teh tah tah. And the moment I die, I would care less how it goes. Even if there’s a cinematic vision of seeing pages of my history flashing to me in a nick of time. I would learn to embrace it just like a long lost friend.

Bravery aside, I could see death now not as an ending. But as a new beginning of something else.



x

For me, a collective memory is much palpable than the idea of heaven and hell

(live)lihood

It dawned on me that I’ve come a long long way in earning myself a living.

I’m too shy to ask from my mother for my daily allowance when I’m still a grade-schooler. I’m aware that my father is working abroad and his salary is more than enough for our family’s monthly expenses but the act of "asking" made me uncomfortable. I have 4 siblings and my mother is way too busy to notice each of our individual needs. So I tend to manage by my own just to get by.

I was in grade three when one morning, I went to the neighbouring bakery and I found four 20 pesos bill on a road. It was like a childish dream picking up money in nowhere. but I already know that I’m having a huge amount of money (at that time) half of it I bought something I can’t remember, and the remaining 40 pesos I bought 2 packs of fruitos. I sell candies to my classmates. As my capital increased, I also sell other kind of candies. I’m a business boy at a tender age of 9!

Since then I don’t ask for baon (and I can’t remember my mama give me some as again, she’s this too busy a housewife) I don’t know when my career as a candy peddler lasts. But when I reached high school, of course I should have my allowance. But I save some of it for my hobbies. I usually buy magazines and sometimes go to the mall for computer games. But I usually do Cross-stitching. lol. I was even featured in a local cable network for anchor threads (although I usually use DMC threads on my work) and was able to sell some of my works to one of our teacher who liked my craft. Then in college, as a self supporting student (as reality bites) I’ve been into varied part time jobs. Some time it’s for the experience and connections but sometimes it’s for the money. So I could buy things that I like and for my daily fare. Those jobs include: summer art workshop facilitator, An exhibit curator, A children saver’s club usherer, choreographer for an end of the year school program, backdrop designer, being a masseur, personal tutor (math! As in Algebra, no kidding!), fashion accessories designer/ consultant, art teacher in an international school and recently I’ve become a payroll software specialist, then as a billing analyst and now, I’m working in a collections dept. my gehd! Imagine how many people, companies, buildings and kilometres I’ve been through until I’ve reached my desk and write this?

I’ve been dreaming of working in a place/town/country for 6 months then transfer to another to explore different places and different people. I’ve done that a couple of times. In fact, right this moment, I felt I’m long overdue with my current job as I’m staying in the company for almost 3 years now (although half of it spent in cebu, and now I’m here in manila). One of the reason why I overstayed is mainly because of the no frizz nature of the job yet above average wage. And my yearly appraisal is too good to decline.

But still my mission is on. So hopefully by early next year, I will venture to a different country. Or else, I’ll stagnate. Life is too short and there’s so much to discover. Aside of calling it a mean of income (sic), money is not what I’m after all this time. It’s all about the experience.



.

panamilit

Pahawa na,
lakaw na.
kay hinuon,
sa akong pag piyong,
ikaw ra man gihapon
ang akong maka hiuban.

today marked my 1st year here in manila.

I could still remember the reasons why I migrated here in the capital from the queen city of the south. I’ve lived almost my entire life in Cebu. Spent my high school and college days there and worked for four years in the same city. Though I travelled every now and then but my home city seems to outgrow me and I feel too comfortable and too familiar with it.

I wanna be on my toes again. I want to explore those places I kept on hearing or read in the newspapers. I wanna visit those places I’ve seen in TV or from the local movies. I also want to be in a place where nobody knows my name. The idea of anonymousity really excites me. So I decided to work here in manila as it so happened our company just expanded a new site here and they need tenured employees. So my transfer and my 2 weeks hotel accommodation were shouldered by the company.

My goal of finishing my fine arts course in UP Diliman also brought me here, but until now, I wasn’t able to enroll myself due to work, weekend escapades and yes, due to procrastination.

Instead, I keep on jogging (or sometimes smoking) around UP IKOT as it’s only 5 minutes away from my rented place. And I got familiar with all the halls and I’ve been in and out in their UP cine adarna for film screenings.

If you’ll ask me where all my earnings goes to, it went to bus and plane tickets as I consider travelling as my occasional dose of morphine. Since I’m here in manila, I wanna explore the rest of Luzon. So it would justify my travel or working in abroad as I already explored and fully experienced the wonders of my own country.

The distance from manila to my home town (bantayan island) and my home city (cebu city) surely intensified my longing with my friends and loved ones. Good thing about it is that we learn how to value communication and make sure to have quality time when we are together. And one thing that I look forward in catching up with them is that I have a baggage full of stories to tell.

.

a mental walk

years of years of pieces
a reconstruction
a whole new wing dedicated
for a single moment
coherences of more than thousands
of words, of hopes and smiles
let the picture sing
as the after dark
won’t fade its twinkling lights

age marked paper
flashes its ability to preserve---
to capsulate an eternity
a remnant of memory and time

(for julio, whom i supposed to celebrate 5th year anniversay on this date)

shi(f)t happens

I had a series of neon lighted events during this week. One of those was the French film festival 2011 in Shangrila Cineplex. Then the “I’m too drunk to recognize if it was kylie minogue or not” moment in society lounge, of which I was still able to request for her video “wow” via myx music channel, then when russ arrived here in manila for a collaborative art exhibit opening in Picasso gallery.

But one thing that haunts me is when greys and I were about to go home as we encountered a man who is in the verge of desperation. He is a foreigner, I’m not certain of what origin, as his feature is very European but his accent is kinda American (maybe a US citizen of Irish decent) but one thing for certain is that he badly needed help.

He narrated his story of how he lost his wallet after their soccer tournament at Quirino grandstand. He already went to the police station to report the terrible incident but after hours of hours of investigation it didn’t made any difference, as he still need his wallet back. He also told us that he has a bus ride to catch (bound to Zambales). So he’s been wandering around Makati to seek assistance from strangers to raise enough funds.

To tell you honestly, I wasn’t able to help him at all as I already spent my pocket money and my atm is not with me. While Greys, I’ve just realized, is hobophobic. As she became stiff like a statue while I asked her if she have any extra cash, so she wasn’t able to react accordingly to the problem at hand.

I apologize to the man and bade him a silent wish that he may be able to find a way out of this pit.

That happened two nights ago. I’m wondering what happened to him after that fruitless encounter with us. Did he able to make it to Zambales? Doesn’t he have any friends/contacts here in Manila? Was he able to get help or not at all in the middle of the harsh city. How is he now?

This made me ponder what if this will also happen to me (knock on wood). what if I made it to a different country only to find out that my whole luggage is missing. I don’t have cash, no documents, and worst of all, no contacts?

Will I just jump off to a nearby bridge and wish I’m dead. Or, like the desperate man, will wander around the city like a vagabond asking for bread.

It really scares me, at the same time challenges me what’s really my full capability as a survivor (as I think I am one) I also wanted to know what’s my limit. I know shit happens as well as shift happens.

If you were in his case, how will you manage?


.