labor day and labour pains

may 1 

my salary hasn't arrived so im stuck at home. just watching frieren. it was full moon so i went out and had a walk at the nearby farm here in urb pryconsa, collado villaba. went out without a flashlight but since the sky is bright and also know the pathway like the back of my hand. the moon brought me back to boracay or bantayan beaches where i usually spend my labor day. i wanted to know the reason why im here in this empty farm as the rest of the world parties for the long weekend. these kind of moment is when i simply lay still and usually some realizations would sink in, and here they:

-"space and time". im having the priveledge of living the moment

-"my past acompanies me". like frieren, i usually have some dialogues with my previous experiences (specially with the people i've been with, ex bf etc..)

-"even though it's uncormfortable, take it slow". as youth wasted with the youngs,i can no longer want to get things go faster. im no longer getting any much younger so i want to savour every moment (specially with my irregular status and no clarity with any future job) i want to have a vivid experience of it. like having a surgery without any anesthesia