10/2023

10/30-31

-no mucho en el lunes pero el martes, asistio a mdme B en la casa syquia. hace mucho que no ver mdme b pero un momento yo veo ella (tal vez por diez anos?) como si fuera ayer. todavia puedo sentir el dolor.. una pieza tan pasada. lloré mucho

-despuez el arte en vivo, encontrarse mucho nuevo cara, especialmente jiezl y lala.. lo 

pase muy bien con ellos.

10/29

-fui a russ' lugar. 

-pasé con russ y cowrie.. tome cafe, cena y entonces juego baraha: "exploding kittens".. muy simple pero nos divertimos

***

-fue McDonald's quirino para chill pasar al tiempo.. entonces 

tenia un mensaje de chico en taft residences. mi typo, morreno y mas o menus masuculado con gordo.. (ref: taft.guy) nuestro sexo fue genial. pasamos la noche abrazaron mientras me encanta el olor su los sobacos 

10/26

-fantasear sobre julio, recoradar un momento nosotros al pasar contigo.pqra mi, el es muy guapo.. me creo enamorado otra vez.

10/23-25

-ha sido los dias tan ajetreado, 

trabajar para el requisito pot auxiliar españa y ocupado en la oficina. estoy cansado!

10/22

-un momento hermosa con carri.. derma, masaje, cena, cafe y ver un pelicula: a very good girl.

-fascinaba a nosotros, un pelicula tan excelente!

10/21

-clase en IC

-hacerse amigos con jill, solennne y juzwa sobre cerveza en nuestra spacio favorito

10/20

-mi madre compleanos y mi 

primaria yo no compartir fotografías ni mensaje via social media.. queiro ser sagrado.

celebrar con mi hermanos y 

la cuñada y mi sobrina, avvy.. 

nostros cantar von videoke y comer sobre cena.. 

estuvo muy divertido y significativo 

10/19

-experiencia tengo hambre y nada... como casi nada.. mi 

pensar esto participar el sufrimiento del mundo specialmente el gueta en 

palestenia

10/18

-contrarse con carri.. hablamos de los planos en opicina. nosotros alcanzamos tambien sobre de helado de fresca en The Hub

10/17

-he estado ocupado recientemente. tengo mucho obra y tengo mucho reflexiónar sobre

por ejemplo:

*mi applicacion para España

*problema de financiár

10/16

-frase para hoy:

 tu siempre olvidame

10/15

-una dia para mi

-dedica este tiempo para derma facial, el corte de pelo y masaje el cuerpo --- yo siento renovado.

-veo as bestas! definitivamente una película magnifica.. nunca supero la intensidad.. bravo!

-tuve una dormir larga

10/14

-comenzado hoy, voy a escribir en español.. para practicar mucho y aprender rapido.

yo se es deficil pero tratare hacer mi mejor..

-estoy una nivel en espanol entonces voy a encontrar mucho hizo algunos errores y 

la gramatica incorrecto.. 

-precentacion el artista

featuring bencab. mi primera discurso in español

-fui a shangrila plaza para veo spanish film festival 

-vi el olivo, una película sobre un arbulo antiguo, que siginifica, como sus profundo .

como ellos la lucha para cobrar 

un 2 mil años arbulo.. estan las ecsenas recodarme sobre una mujer quin escalaba un arbulo 

y quedarse por salvar el bosque.

10/13

-heading back to manila with mamu. saw julio as we are heading to sta. fe port. he looks cuter and he's back to his usual handsome and charming form, as my eyes transfixed to him at the very moment we 

pass by at eachoother..

weird to say this but i got kiilig and i felt the same love feels when we are still together.. ahaha.. i dunno.. 

-was welcomed by my brother mark paul and kuya carlo. and then back to my boardinghouse to continue working.. such an exhausting day!

10/11-12

-simply immerse with the moment. me and my mother will be going back back to manila in a few days. definitely it was a marvelous stay. a needed break. a needed diversion. i miss my room so much in diliman.

-make sure to bond with xin2x, my beloved nephew, im so glad he is very intelligent and 

participative about life. also had great moment with leanne and her family. will definitely miss them

10/10

-saw the cute manly baker again. was super kilig he is so captivating, i even had a glimpse of his abs and that trail of a mini bush from his navel down to his..

10/09

-usually do dawn walk and buy hot bread. saw a cute manly baker. its been a long time since i have this probinsya crush 🥰

-although i haven't confirmed it frm him but at the age of 73 he have a new girl friend. im happy as someone is taking care of him as he and mama are somewhat civil and separated. its one of those kalit kalit moments, while i am taking care of baby ali by the field as i let her see the cows and the goats. he joined us and i was able to have a talk with my father, but its about his friend in mindanao, who only with a carabao he manage to develop his land into a self sufficient and wealth generating ranch. reminds me of pearl s Buck's the good earth. got so inspired with how he manage to plant coffee and graze goats around his 16 hectar Marlboro kind of ranch.

10/08.2

-simba bantayan 

-treat them at kermits

-xin xin bday

-family bonding

10/08

woke up at the middle of sugar beach. 

its one of those "panata" i should make every now and then. only if i'm not so concerned with my skin (necnec bites, sunburn) i could have done this much often. finally able to see and witness the beach in its full glory. 

its dreamy, 

ghibli-esque pink sunrise 

and almost princess mononoke kind of still water. 

i felt replenished. my soul and body definitely got replenished.

wasn't really able to sleep well or did i? numerously awaken by the advancing waves on my feet, an insect crawling on my skin, the splashes of the rain on my face. the morning dew coldness/dampness. but boy oh boy, all those time im awake i got to see the passing of a satellite, a shooting star, a light show of an upcoming storm. the momentary tableau of the gigantic passing clouds, the moon, the stars, the galaxies, the wonders of a billion star accommodation.

***

i guess one of the beauty of sleeping by the beach is like u get rubbed with the sands and  be cradled by the waves. 

in time, all those piercing edges will soon get kinder, all those roughness will smoothen like sparkling pebbles.

***

10/07.3

-its my 3rd day on the beach, and its weird, i still feel not in sync with my body and with my soul. my body is in this island but my soul is wandering with the turmoil of the city. 

-spent more time at the beach rather than in my cot. i decided not to extend my stay at the hostel and challenge myself again to stay at shore instead. i remember the banig days i haf with chai, her sister nikki and ferds. we spent 3 days in sta. fe with the banig, no tent! just under the palms! and also my days in moalboal, for 5 days! 

-so finally, with just my scarf blanket, i stayed by the beach and just stayed there, soaking myself into the nature i felt more and more accustomed to my fears and the beauty with it. it took so much time for me to unwrap and tear my comfort zones and really see into the core. the core that really glisten more with nature. the one that flashes with the lightning, that dances with the rain drops and sings with the breeze.

10/07.2

-finally meet someone for sex. see ref stafe. oct2023

he is 23 and in his prime time. one of the wildest. i have other options but he is an ultimate choice. at first i thought it will just be only oral but he got so kinky he turned my back and enters me from behind. we did it near the denr post. by the beach. we burst like crazy. it 

was so fun. i still even get so horny after he left i came twice.

10/07.1

-its midnight 

and i woke up in the middle of a dream.. category: bad dream

i was watching an episode and was wanting to watch the rest with someone?, i even asked him.. but his face is so blurry but the feeling is as intense as an arturo 

desperate level. i cringe for myself having to feel that way again. gosh. when was the last time i felt madly in love? that was 2014, almost a decade now. i cannot get back to sleep after that, plus someone tried or mistakenly open my hostel door and say sorry (i know its a hostel but im the only one booked for the entire day) my mind acting weird lately. im not sure because of the coffee or the medication or the mind itself. went to the beach with half moon hanging by the sky. and splashes of stars. total dark sea and can only hear the crashing of the mini waves

its high tide as my dark thoughts outpours and overwhelms me.

-its just like one of those characters in murakami when his protagonist iron his shirts to calm him down. so i end up washing my clothes and had some hot milk.

10/06

-woke up early in the morning and watch the sun rise at kota beach. its been a long time since i seen one

-had a good coffee and went to the ruins and snorkel. saw a family of clown fish. im so happy.

-enjoyed the early morning, not much tourists in this island, i have a tiny bit of paradise to myself

10/05

-arrived in sta fe

-had a good nap and wonderful massage. asleep well at night. attained a regular cycadian rythm. i really need to go back as a day person. never felt so hewlthy and alive for a long time.

10/04

-able to see papa and amzed how healthy he looks. told him about my accomplishments, future plans and dreams. fekt very hopeful.

-went to kodia eco park and just get lost into the mangroves

-went to my new discovery cove and talk with russ until dusk about him preparing to new york and me, preparing for spain.

10/03

-my body gave in and got to call sick. was given 4 days rest

up to Friday.

-re watched y tu mama tambien.. was amazed as how elite and even the spanish netflix, a view from my window

kind of pattern from it in terms of fluidity and sensuality.

-i kinda feel having a break. after the grueling months of not able to take any trips starting when i enrolled myself to Spanish class and taking the lept exam.

10/02

-so exhausted from the trip cebu hagnaya bantayan. still have duty later that night. i could have filed a leave but got lots of important appointments to take..

-seing my brother and his family is worth the troubles. . they welcome us, me and my mother with such joy and warmth.. hearing my nephew xin2x laughs as we had dinner takes all the exhaustion away.

10/01

-flight to cebu with mamu

-dinner with robin, chavee and baby ally.. it was a great feast. my able to solve my craving for cebu lechon.

-roam around cebu and then ayala. able watch zack tabudlo live

-finally had massage at thewi thai massage. it was super good.. i fell asleep multiple times 😂

-met this guy uptown now 23, see ref oct2023 cebu. i wish he could have shared his private 

pics.. he is so hot.. we made out where my glory days way back i stayed in cebu last 2018. near shell where the infamous aviary were located (aviary no longer in business) i already came when we got busted by other trippers. he is not yet done so we kept on walking until we found a parking spot near urgello.. crazy i thought we couldn't make it but he was able to cum inside me. it was soo good. he gave me the labacarra we use to wipe 😻 it and kept it as a remembrance

10/08

woke up at the middle of sugar beach. 

its one of those "panata" i should make every now and then. only if i'm not so concerned with my skin (necnec bites, sunburn) i could have done this much often. finally able to see and witness the beach in its full glory. 

its dreamy, 

ghibli-esque pink sunrise 

and almost princess mononoke kind of still water. 

i felt replenished. my soul and body definitely got replenished.

wasn't really able to sleep well or did i? numerously awaken by the advancing waves on my feet, an insect crawling on my skin, the splashes of the rain on my face. the morning dew coldness/dampness. but boy oh boy, all those time im awake i got to see the passing of a satellite, a shooting star, a light show of an upcoming storm. the momentary tableau of the gigantic passing clouds, the moon, the stars, the galaxies, the wonders of a billion star accommodation.

***

i guess one of the beauty of sleeping by the beach is like u get rubbed with the sands and  be cradled by the waves. 

in time, all those piercing edges will soon get kinder, all those roughness will smoothen like sparkling pebbles.

09/2023

09/30

-attended my 2nd semester for my Spanish class. this time we are having Max as our teacher. he is a 30 year old guy from Mexico. he is half mexican half filipini. and for me, he looks a bit like sergio in marimar 😅. i totall missed my closed classmates specially from the Los quadro dedes. solenne, jill and vlessie. i cannot contain my excitement to see them again.

-we parted ways with some of our classmates and we have new ones. there are two new faces and 1 happened to be from UP Diliman as well. his name is joshua. originally from UP Tacloban. he joined with us at ayala triangle banchetto, mcdo and later at pobla in our favorite spot, el kuarenta y cinco. (its a tindahan that sells a meager 45 pesos for palesen. compared to 500 a drink in most of the places we went to. plus its in between the ultimate clubs in pobla.. so the place is a sure winner. we instantly click with joshua as he is such an opinionated guy. together with marvin, jill and solenne we talk all night long before my flight later at dawn

09/29

-feeling giddy for my upcoming cebu trip. its been a while since the last time i traveled and i am financially ok.. 

-finally done with my laundry

my rooms smells awful specially after my partee session with ehan mark as both of us sweat a lot, now i know how marx feel about his 

place in nova after partee. as much as i want to keep the smell of ehan mark, but i have to let it go and start in a clean and fresh slate.

-as usual, i loooove having the smell of new laundered bed sheets and new cleaned room. i simply stay in my room and make my mind wander as i enjoy the comfort and the beauty of my own personal place..

09/28

-back to full blast on my spanish lessons and was on my 

imperfecto, the softer and lasting past and pretireto

09/27

-chai's bday

sent her a msge but i know she might have a lot of greetings.. just simply let her know that she's always in my mind and in my heart.

09/26

-got inspired with this video about the art of being you by Caroline McHugh

https://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU?si=eU9_k273y2dLGsTt

09/25

-i felt back to my elements.. after 1 month of gruesome

lept application, review and twking th3 exqm itself im back to my quite walks and nature trip inside UP campus 

09/24

-the day of the licensure exam.. i dunno if its because of the customized mocha i mafe, but i felt so exhilarated. adreniline is rushing through me. made some simple yoga accept whatever happens and thank God i reached this far and also took part of this opportunity. i felt grateful 🥰

-was super exhausted after the exam.. we started 8 and finished at 6.. my right arm i hurts like hell from shading.. although there are some cuties i pass by byt dont wanna talk after.. also meet the co up diliman iska taker from chk.. it was heart warming small chat.. -i thought i could chill after.. jusr wanna go home and sleep 

09/23

-anxiety attack is real. 1 day from licensure exam and my head is spinning. ive done enough review, cant take it anymore. i might get crazy like clinically. atleast i can relate to most of the professionals now, its no joke. now i cannot sleep. 

-continue reading sands of time and re encounter the story behind guarnica. search about it further and realized irs morbid narratives

09/22

-already have my let exam confirmation and my room assignment. although it wont be in up diliman, but im excited to see my name and it will be near UST, at arrelano University.

-my pre exam jitters now kicking in.. my insomnia taking place. need to calm my nerves down. able to see this helpful reminder:

09/18

-went around Up since it wa closed for 2 days for the law bar exam, my licensure exam for professional teacher will be next weekend. so i went down memory lane and went first to Malcolm to bigay pugay to francis monfort who is my inspiration to take educ in up Diliman the moment he took law. then went to college of education where i have so much memories as i look into the main entrance, the lobby, the windows outside. crazy memories pops out as i look at the whole facade..

then went to beta lane to visit merwin mendoza's epitaph and ask him to wish me luck.. im teary eyed with excitement, thrill, sadness and love.

its been a decade since i stayed in Up diliman and il be leaving this place very soon.

09/17

-watched Kill Bill 1 and 2 with family.. kuya carlo, sis jess, baby avyy and mark paul. 

-someday, i would love to visit the most beautiful windows in the world:

https://twitter.com/culturaltutor/status/1702834149281743233?s=09

specially the ones in asia and europe. it would also great to have a study about them and 

pursue it as a masterclass.

09/16

-so i have new friend from my Spanish class names jill.. and she just turned 25 last August.. i saw my picture with her and made me wonder and go back how i was when i was on my 25th year. that's the time when i moved from cebu to manila. i scrolled to my blog and fb posts. my poetry my random craziness.. gosh such crazy wonderful moments i had and shucks! its been 13 years since then.. what a lifetime?!

-despidida with Marina Luz, our Spanish teacher from Columbia.. we dine at el 

chupabara? at the heart of 

poblacion, amazing moments.. then we went to spirit library where we had a glimpse of tony labrusca, then we went to run rabbit run bar.. 

later at night me, jill and solenn had a beer at ministop where we can simply see the city sparkle..

09/11-15

-re immersed to Alexander McQueen . they are right, sarah Burton's current works made you dream and be hopeful

-LET review.. review.. review for the upcoming bar exam!

09/09-10

-re meet mark garcia, this time we had partee session. he is kind and generous enough to sponsor everything, from the item, our drinks our food.. it was an ultimate bonding for two days where we able to even talk and kind of date. it was the sweetest.

-found out he have a spanish lineage, that's why he got body hair and Spanish size/looking dick 😅

09/06

-refocus at work, have great improvements at work, good measures and good signs, need to review for my licensure exam. rebonding with my colleagues. just enjoying my day.

-talk with mamu, talk about markpaul if he can go with us to cebu, and about xinxin's vision of papa. and we plan going to xinxin's bday in October 

09/05

-just past midnyt, i thought i would end up sexless this long weekend but good thing nova guy arrived in maginhawa and msge me to meet up again. as usual i really love his musky scent and his body hair.. made love and had sultry session by the tree near the soccer field. we had an intense orgasm together which is marvelous. went home still sniffing my hands as to remember his scent and all of him.

****

-i woke up refreshed and went to russ' place in syquia. we catch up and i talk about my preparation for my plan to move/migrate to spain. the story of the death of the dead tree in the middle of up lagoon. as if all these pushing me for a new chapter, a new place..

 listened with his spousal visa turmoil with dane. the delays of his migration. he also talk about his worries and letting go of his apartment, his things.. 

as always we do this while he is preparing a hearty meal for me, while sipping a good coffee and some kakanin that i brought..

-really good catching up and release of tension and we cap it with the premiere of bjorks victim hood while stoked in mj. it was mind blowing experience that end me hours of being knocked down. i felt immensely recalibrated and hopeful. 

-we both become so emotional and thankful for such wonderful bonding

09/04

-woke up crying. dreamt about my younger brother im not so sure if its robin or john2x and its about leaving them alone. its the attachment that i haven't felt that strong since my father thought us to be independent and im ateady living by myself at the early age of 13 (i moved to a boarding house as i turned high school)

-found out from my sister in law that my younger brother john2x cried as well as my nephew, xinxin saw my father in their room but my father is not living with them currently. i only hope and pray that God will give papa more good health and more time to stay with us since i want him to see him see us in our most full potential.

although im trying to be ready for papa's passing since his mikd stroke but deep within me im wishing for him to stat with us much much longer.

-my long weekend was kind of a bore since i usually travel when long weekend strikes or do a parteenplay. just remjnd myself that what i have is more than enough and im fine.

09/03

-my body clock is so fucked up.. wasnt able to sleep from last night and i dont want to

 spend my weekend just lying down struggling to sleep.. so might as well take the most out of it. had derma, massage and coffee at the french baker, talk with max and told her about my 

Euro plans and ask her to pray for me.. i could only dream of having them to visit me as well. im really hoping and praying that it will be materialized by 2024.. 🙏

I've been seeing somebody else's dream coming true.. i hope this time, it will be mine...

-ive been eying for a partee session since its a long weekend for me but to no avail. in the end i got frustrated with potential partee and play that didnt come to realize.. but remind myself of what i had earlier as i felt rich and pampered after my wellness recalibration and as my daily horoscope mentioned, i need to focus on my spiritual needs.

09/02

-saturday spanish class at the Ayala triangle. it appears this really one of the reasons that i get excited and motivated even though i haven't slept much and its raining hard. i also love spending time with jill and solenne and how they take heed over my advices and it warms my heart to see them smile with gratitude for having me.. i felt such a big sister to them, guiding them how to become an ultimate bitch 😅

09/01

-able to see the supermoon..

how i wish im on a beach or something it would be much superrr..

-felt deprived with my old lifestyle, with my card bills, foreign class tuition fee and all, im not able to travel as i used to.. when was the last time i travelled?

-i felt pathetic with my financial capacity, its been a while since the last time i struggle this much..

-although i don't have any love interest but strangely i doesn't bother me anymore, i felt so invested with my ultimate goals.. nowadays, i felt so driven with my spanish lesson and for obtaining my LEpT.

-enrolled myself for the 2nd sem for my Spanish class. how time flies by and i felt there's still so much to learn. its my 3rd month and usually one can get comfortable with on their 3rd cycle or almost a year of continuous learning..  so il just 

take my time and have that ho

pe and determination that someday il get fluent.

08/2023

08/29-31

-i got imersed with noli me tangere, the original spanish version. read it as it is and some times read/listen it with crhome extn and most of the time listen until i sleep with e reader prestigio..

-got engrossed with the old time mostly by the late 1800's and even went through jp Rizal's timeline.

-also got interested with the rise of illustrados and have a liking for pedro paterno.. which leads me to researching for filipiniana historical works

-kinda weird but i find the young pedro paterno as the late bree's bf. then it leads me on going back to bree Johnson's work. gosh i really marvel her paintings.. how i wish i was able to see them being exhibited, imaging bree having a small talk. im really am a post humous fan.

-felt lazy at work but im so lucky that its not as demanding as before. 

08/28

agosto viente ocho

son las otso y dos de la mana. 

este mi segunda escribro.en Español. ademas, hoy es mi dos mes fue impiezar aprendir un idiomatica estrangera.

yo voy mi casa despues mi trabajo. hoy fue double pagar 

porque esta national dia de patria. ver lo mi mucho videos de youtube sobre filipinos quin hablos Español. muy inspiracional y tiene motivacion. yo siento, que es un necesite tenner mas aprendir mas rapido y mucho mejor. mi intention es hablar Español fluentamente y muy suave. correcto mas possibleh.. 

hablar, ecriber , escuchar y navigar mas bien.

intento leer novela de jose rizal 

por primera tiempo. mi leer original edicion de Noli Me Tangere. Esta muy interesante. mi encanta leer todos paginas 

porque trabajar entonses no tiempo leer de fin los todos paginas. mi encanta o yo quiero tener un libro de la noli me tangere en Español. Espero hablar Español mas mucho en no tiempo.

08/27

-my pussy felt lucky today as i met Heej29 again. its as hot as our first encounter on 08/20 i realized he is gwapo with good built and handsome huge dick. 

felt horny even after he parked his car and he followed me up to the back of this abandoned building near 711 epsilon. 

he had this tight bun which i usually got turned off but he was an exemption. he have nice facial feature. and he is gorgeous. i came while he fuck me and later he burst inside me. hot as always.

-went to Philcoa for hot bread but pass by a familiar face along University ave. and 

he appeared to be my pandemic crush from bicol. the one who resides in marikina. he got chubbier but he is my type when his facial hair and handsome manyak looking face. i teased him and he got horny. i end up suckking him and he fucked me hard. he burst inside me while a patrolling security car pass by. i wish we could have talked more and tell him i still like him. 

-finished watching the 2nd

 ep of the latest black mirror: lochside lake? im not totally impressed but not bad. maybe it was too short and the built up was not enough. i wish it was a full length or a series in itself. it has a very good plot.

08/26

-watched a 1946 film entitled: a matter of life and death. wonderful romantic film, an ari Aster's favorite.

-saturday spanish class. start it with jco coffee and donut and enjoy the rainy gloomy day.

-marina just came from bora and she is sun kissed. mi amore bonita! 

-learned that marichie is a cancer survivor and her ultimate love is gay. tanya also spilled some beans with her ex and she seems to have hatred over him. we found out that guy also divirginized her. we wanna know more but her parents are already there to 

pick her up. 

-i end up with jill and she talk about her Indian and French guy. im so happy for her when she declared viva España when she talk about her sex with the spanish professor she met.

-met this Taiwanese guy and had awkward quicky in his 

apartment along sedeno ave in just two blocks from ayala triangle. he is hot and handsome however my Dick is bigger than his.

-pass by valero street and cant help remember about gerald 

08/25

-bond with carri and work at building b. its been ages since i was assigned in bldg k.

-we already on our 4th year in manulife. told him that this may be my final years in this company as i will go back teaching. told her how u find the work easy and the compensation ok but i just dont feel motivated anymore. also told her about my dream about lola consor. pls see dreams entry dates 08/25

08/24

-tangina talaga.. lahat frm entering to exiting, pahirapan talaga sa Updil 😅

took me hours and years but finally able to get my board exam worthy TOR for the upcoming licensure exam. weird to find years of years of sacrifices only summarized in 3 pages..

-the ultimate goal is to deviate from corporate and move back to professional teaching.

- i really thought my nightmare decades ago, about my inconsistencies in OUR (grades /records from up cebu to diliman) will reoccur but im glad i and the universe overcome it. its one of the reasons why i wouldnt like to 

pursue teaching (plus the salary is sooooo low) but i guess this time is the time to go back and continue what i started.

-finally cleared from university and have my tor for prc. i thought i couldn't make it for the application but madam was kind enough, god bless her for rendering OT. felt ecstatic when she finally approved and submit it 🥰

-best of luck for LEpT.

-headed to q.ave centris. where i first landed in corporate world back in 2010

-im so ngarag but felt like flying to the moon

08/21-23

-declared sick. i really cant make it to work since i am exausted and got heavy breathing. was given 3 days SL. the Doctor via doctor anywhere was so gwapo.. 😅

-use the 3 days as to simply rest and unwind.

-i really feel im in a different chapter of my life, going back, i felt the last 20 years was for friends, russversachai mecca, bambi and the gang.. then manila years, then travel across asia.. party/partees  

-i also witnessed my family from being broken to get back again. and i am glad im still here in the Philippines. now im ready to venture abroad.

i felt ive lived an ultimate kind of youth.

-was inspired with Naomi Campbell 's interview with vogue, when she said there are things that will happen when its time and not when you want it. and at times it will take 30 years!

https://youtu.be/iNw7dM5oS1A?si=OC1RxhLmTDhNO96Z

-for some reason, i was also inspired with the Grandma's line from hereditary, that the sacrifices will become pale compared to the reward, ( i know its a morbid parallelism with ari Aster's rituals and beheaded corpses) as im talking about my sleepless days, my persistence on taking educ and plans going to spain. not settling for momentary comforts.

08/20

-still having partee urge from 

prince james from Friday and when i msged the lawyer from shaw and hes up for partee at his expense. i went for it..we met at sogo Quirino. i got a total of 15-10-15 dosage so it was a lot and got so horny 😅

-re meet this isko guy from nova as we made out near 711 back of this abandon building near up epsilon. that was hot

finally able to smell someone's armpit and really made love as i havent done that with the lawyer. it was an intense and thrill filled love making.

-then also met this tall and huge guy and made out at arkivicki. see ref: heej29. it was crazy. its almost 5am when we're done when a security guard pass by. good grief!

08/19

-we have andreu as our Spanish teacher. he migrated to Spain way back when he was still 16 years old. told us stories and some spanish drills. he also invited us for cultural activities hapening in manila.

-just had a short yet sweet food trip with my language classmates at the ayala triangle banchetto.

08/18

-got partee invitation from prince james, the 6 footer guy from batangas however we dont have the item..

-felt lazy for this Friday and haven't done much at work.

08/17

-eunice had her despidida as she is now flying to spain by September. she is my ultimate inspiration so someday i should see her in one of the Pueblos en España!

08/15-16

-asikaso my prc requirements 

from cedula to my tor and gosh.. this is it. i felt like im in a new kind of whirring. 

-start reviewing for the board exam, i felt rusted! ahaha 

08/14

-bonding with mamu, my sister in law, jess and avvy.. 

had simple dinner with them at chowking lucky gold. its nice to let them know my endeavors and how they are supportive. 

said goodbye to them with heartwarming hugs and pure joy.. i super miss them.

08/13

-spent my sunday with mamu and with my sobrina, avvey.. 

-watched frozen 1 with avvvy, she cried everytime we watched little anna fainted during her play time with little elsa. avy appears to be an emotional child.

-watched spanish film: Secretos del Corazon

it reminds me to be a go getter and take risks and life is indeed short and we should take the most out of it.

08/12

-we are now mid way of our first semester in our Spanish class.. still i felt struggling with my conjugations but im keeping up. had fun with my classmates. we are all more getting comfortable with each other. que lindo aprender con ellos y me estoy divirtiendo.

-was suppose to meet someone in tecjhnohub but a 

passing car stopped by and he turns out to be my previous encounter. had outdoor fun with him near arki.

-i felt i have so much events in life, but felt im struggling financially.. never had this financial anxiety for a long time. wasn't able to sleep much.

08/11

-early morning walk inside qc memorial circle.. killing time until i can get my cedula at city hall. im preparing my requirements for my let licensure exam. 

-i felt im in for another project.. im excited

-i always have this savoring moment of seing around qc

as i felt my time here is limited. i always have this cycle of 5 years and i felt im about to move out and be on a different adventure. hopefully this time, it will be in spain, that's plan a, 

plan b will be Baguio where i will pursue teaching...

08/10

-team lunch at mcdo visayas ave. had fun with my team mates. then unexpectedly i haf moments with tristan. well i had a long crush on him the moment i saw him at the office.. he was still on training.. but the moment i knew we will be on the same team and we are on the same circle of friends, i kinda patter my feelings off.. as i may end up awkward. anyways, i felt super kilig when we sat beside eachother inside the trike and i felt and smell his body.. i really like him and he is so funny.. i dunno.. im not gonna expect anything more basta crush ko sya.. 😻

08/09

-coffee overdoze and sleep deprived

-finished japanese film fest entry: your bird can sing 

08/08

-i felt like im really deprived of sex 😅 since i had no encounter this weekend. like its very rare for me to have no sex for that long. finally on muy way to office, encountered this decent isko looking cutie at University ave. and he is damn horny as the moment i groped into his fly, he is already erect and huge. i also felt he is lucky about me since i felt fresh and lean with my month long work out and whey protein intake. had an intense moment at the dark sidewalk where i had oral, anal and oral with him until he came inside my mouth and haf all his come. that was so hot and sexy. i get horny every time i rethink about it..

08/07

-i want to be still. learning to be still. that moment when u just have to see the clouds passing and able to witness rain drops againts a sunny sky? i was able to do exactly this today. im glad.

-was moved by cafe muller

 snippet in habla con ella and got inspired by pina bausch message at kyoto prize award:

https://youtu.be/WSvqC3oKiq8

where she talks about finding that commonality amongst us, not the ones that are private, but what we lock inside.

08/06

-went to russ place for karaoke night. dane, lem and jay r were there and we had hot pot and 

pizza. as usual russ and i sing our heart's out. we capped the night with aretha Franklin's gospel documentary.. i had fun.

-went to Seattle's best cubao where i just had coffee and watch Pedro Almodóvar's habla con Ella.

-saw a former spark and fuck buddy, jervy. i can still remember our sex and how huge his dick is. i also remember when, one time he told me i was his TOTGA (i was dumbfounded and later found out its meaning) but i dont know, it just didn't work. i could have been in relationship with him. he is a nice guy. but maybe it was never meant to be .

- pass by university ave and i guess i saw bicol guy from marikina of whom i had a huge crush during the pandemic. i am so horny/libido driven that time. but now i felt i am more tame or rather not into sex since i am more driven to friends, significant encounters and 

personal improvements. or i might just getting old? ahaha i dunno.. but so much changes after 3 years

08/05

-went to burgos street and alamat with jill and solenne after class. its Jill's pre birthday celebration. we had fun and jill and i had wonderful talk after hours. 

-we even walk down memory lane at i'm hotel and she talk about her german guy (her ultimate sexromance) while me with my ex Gerald. then i ride home along the street near dean and DeLuca where Gerald and i usually take a ride home. for a moment, i miss having a boyfriend and in love.

-btw 6'2 guy is making paramdam. i dont know where this will lead us..

 08/04

-cinemalaya opening at picc. this day is near impossible as i woke up late. stuck in the traffic and we almost had no ticket. good thing sara tario and her cousin was patient enough to wait and we got tickets!!! were able to get in and just in time for the presentation of the whole cast 

and the feature film itself: Marupok AF! it was marvelous.

-the three of us had dinner later at sea harbour and was able to catch up with sarah after she deactivate FB for more than 2 years.

08/2-3

-finally have a glimpse of the sun. tried to bathe with it to replinish my vit d. was able to sleep well and retrieve my good mood.

08/1

-its still raining.. 1 week storm and another week for the monsoon weather. its been 2 weeks now since i havent experience sunshine.. i can feel sadness creeping in.. just watched the water lilies at the lagoon.. just be at peace with the falling leaves, the rain and the wind.

random memories

entry #17

the power of mindset. im still on my teens at that time, when cha ferrer and i went to Aphrodite's summer retreat not knowing it was actually a born again or i dunno, a specific chrsitian church program. then, we had this casual talk with the pastor's daughter. we are talking about the latest pop craze and she dismissed them all, since as she said, they are not the songs that glorify the lord almighty. she said it with much conviction. at that time i was frozen in shock and disbelief but all these years i totally amazed and even mesmerized with the 

power of conviction. of which i can totally apply to my principles of which i stand my ground. 

 

entry #16

this was actually recent, and i cannot dare put it on my journal since this is more of a confession 

went to alamat with classmates after Spanish class

and then we proceed to bgc where Jill and i parteed with solenns friends at the distillery. it was totally crazy. i got so wasted like never before. first time to had 

poppers while on the club. it was fun but not a good idea. i end up so sick. im low batt so i cannot book myself a ride. was so drunk i have no recollection how i got to Guadalupe.

i felt i want to be part of the whole city, the messiness and the grittiness of it all. the beauty and the ugly, the rich and the poor, the glam and the slum. so from bgc, i tried to get some few rest along the street of Guadalupe, across the river.. the one near the bridge where homeless people sleeps. i just want to. i wanna try it for the heck of it. and gosh, there's so much kindness as they (those people who stay there) even blanketed me. now im teary eyed..those people have so much kindness that it brought me to tears as i write this. i cannot thank them especially this guy who even got worried as i really look wasted 😂 he want to make sure I'm ok. then i went to have breakfast at the nearby diner and this lady reminds me to breathe with her.. exhale inhale.. i follow her as i struggle with my drunkenness.. im still drunk! until im able to cross the bridge, recharge my mobile at the boni 711 and book myself a ride home. God.. i still have faith in mankind. there is still so much love in this world. 

entry #15

i was still in my early years in college. still no proper job but i have some side kicks so i have some extra money to splurge but not that much. so every penny is valuable. i went to a movie house for matrix. i was so mesmerized that i want to see it the 2nd time the next day. back in that day, i have myself stamped and have it even wrapped in plastic so it wont get washed when i take a bath the next day. with such risk and bravery , i was able to get back the day after by nonchalantly showing my stamp. exhilarated to get inside and rewatch the film tje 2nd twice! 

beaming, when i get out and have my other hand stamped just for the heck of it, i noticed the stamp is completely different from yesterday 😅

blog entry

i felt compelled to tell one of the highlights of my latest trip.

i already told them i am kinda anti-pop but new found tribe is so hyped to visit the latest trending spot in boracay. which is so far away and secluded we have to haggle for our trike fare. so meaning it takes so much money and effort just to come face to face with this "iconic natural attraction".

only to find that it is cordoned.

like what? are we on a beach or in a museum?

my innards are revolting so i go beyond the yellow chain and just simply be the child of the universe and "be with" the wonderful rock formation.

then just few seconds, one of the security guards approached us. oh well.. i am so prepared for this. and told him about the book of Genesis, that God made them all. natural wonders shouldn't be privitized.

of course i let the security guard made his nonsense sop spiels while we slowly vanish. since im done with my mission. with that huge smile on my face.

entry#14

-im now heading to la union. took the partas liners where they had their own fuel tanker. it reminds me of my partee mate who is a son of a bus liner. that day, he took all the money from the bus collections and parteed with me. he have so much money i cannot remember if i shared some at all. we had unlimited dosage of meth and he hired this super gwapo and hunky masseur. he had this fetish for underwear. i remember how he manage to

keep the masseur's underwear for an escurbetant fee. the masseur was so into me that he want to get back however as a courtesy to my partee sponsor i have to feign disenchantment. my parteemate was also into role

playing and we played a lot of character specially in the cr. he confessed that he took the money when we are on our ride going home. he is somewhere from banawe and España.

entry#13

-04/09/2023 today is my bday, earlier i had my usual bday sex. years and years ago, i went to subic with this guy who doesn't know that it was my bday. we stayed in this inn across the beach. i remembered collecting a handfull of small seashells by shore and have it included in our seafood noodles. that night, we had sex and when we went to the cr, i requested him to give me a golden shower. that was my first time and it was the highlight of my bday. i have no contacts of him. last time i know, he was already with his sister who is loving in japan.

entry#12

-went to a partee n play orgy in makati, along burgos st. there's this new comer guy, the hottest hunk, who suppose to be exclusively for the main host. but he was looking at me looking at him. when the right time came along i approached him and he chose to fuck and breed me while most guys were there watching us by the corner.

entry#11

-xmas day. went to novaliches to help my crush clean his room. but he slept on me. i've spent 8 hours waiting for him. walked around nova bayan, tried a free coffee, watched amy winehouse last farewell docu. had a lousy massage for 2 hours, seen the whole town spent their xmas day while me all alone, waiting for my crush to msge me back.

entry#10

-so my father had a mild stroke, although he is responsive and mobile, but going through with hospital admission brought me so much stress. it was new year. we went to medical city in ortigas and i saw a very old husband and wife who, in very gentle and assured manner, the husband admitted himself while his wife simply accompany him. they must be in their 80s, much older looking than my father. but still very agile and independent from their children (if they have). if they have indeed a children, it appears they want them to be saved from the hassle of being burden of all these medical routines/banalities that goes with aging. 

entry#9

-was sitting with a young lad in a fast diner in baguio. he sort of checking what im eating as im such a heavy eater.. have 3 sets of food while he's a simple lugaw. kind of having sympathy and remember one time when i was still in high school, with less support from parents, i have to settle for one piece of monay as my dinner. gosh. such days 😢

entry#8

-im no celebrity but i do had some sticky encounter with celebrity make up artists. and i usually find celebrity make up artists hot. the people i met were the likes of redd Paule and hernan soriano

entry#7

im in week 4 of dets ghosting

i have this broken heart kind of feeling just like what i had with sedrick.. i remember was only to recognize it when i came to cebu city from Bantayan.. when all of a sudden im not able to see him again. going out of town here in samar is a sure distraction but the nothingness resonates the hole that he left behind. 

entry#6

its a town fiesta at Tria's in Bantayan. won a singing contest, initially it was just for fun and just the heck of it. it was a random entry, and what an awesome song it was: "my way" by frank Sinatra. i grabbed the first prize 😅

entry#5

its funny this memory almost completely slips from me. as i was reminded by russ and this was only retrieved when we had dinner last night. we went to camotes and and then we had two separate lagoons for ourselves.. from russ perspective, we had our momentary moments for ourselves and he thought that we should go i scream out and say no no, give me some more time as i am about to ejaculate. i remeber i love jerking off in nature and its like making love with the universe.

entry#4

i always have this memory with chai while waiting for our cue to perform. its UP cookout night. . its our 4th year and its our 4th time being the champion that night.while the crowd are enjoying the event, we were stuck at the backstage i cant mingle with my other friends and be with my crush that night since we were in this avant garde makeup and costume. i felt this sudden jolt of loneliness. . so it dawn on me and i said to chai, next time i will be part of the audience; marveling, revelling and enjoying the night.

entry #3. skimping shrimps

went to pasig to visit mama and papa and my brothers as well.

passed by farmers market and got these shrimps that are still alive, fresh squid and scallops. the shrimps are still skimping off from the tray even when i got home from the trip. had marvelous dinner with them with my own cooking. such a heart warming memory..

entry #2. role playing

met this guy whose parents are into bus liner business. im not sure if he was rebelding or some sorts but he got all the earnings money (delehentia) for that weekend and he invited me over for a long play chem fun. that was hot a torrid. we play all sorts of role play and he is quite creative. he also invited this very handsome and hunky masseur whom we both feasted on. gosh that

entry #1. white party

attended the annual white party in malate, im on my mid 20's... my friends are looking for me since they have lost me in the crowd. then suddenly they saw me on the projector.. im on stage while making out with someone.. that was intense 😅

07/2023

07/30-31

-im still hangover from last night. i drank way too many. maybe i had so.much fun with jill, solenn and her friends.

-i just want to have a very peaceful sunday.. walk around up and had dinner. its past midnight when i met this eurasian guy who's visiting qc. he is based in france. had sex with him at dona hardin near teacher's village. he is cute and our sex was very wild. i able to eat his cum.

07/29

-went to alamat with classmates after Spanish class

and then we proceed to bgc where Jill and i parteed with solenns friends at the distillery. it was totally crazy. i got so wasted like never before. first time to had 

poppers while on the club. it was fun but not a good idea. i end up so sick. 

07/28

-watched and marveled abre los ojos.. eduardo es muy gwapo

07/24-27

-typhoon egay just let me sleep all day long. just work, eat and sleep.

-had massage, facial and haircut.. my ultimate fresh up 

routine

-finally able to do laundry, nice to smell my fresh bedsheets 

-sang along with amy, dance and marvel my window view while it rains so hard.

-had this comfy cozy moment in my room

07/23

-went to Cari's place and bond with manalo. we do karaoke all day even without the alcohol

-really able to sing well with Cari's wonderful mini usb mic

-meet this guy from Atherton street. he had a very foreign look. had an intense sex with him

-really trying to reach out with rj from bagong silang but just like max frm nova, he wakes up late and there's no chance for us to date.

07/22

-2nd week of Spanish class and finally bonded with my classmates: blessy, Jill and solenne.

-saturday night and what i did is just sleep

07/20-21

-just slowed down

07/18-19

-tried recovering from last Sunday's session.

-watched the full season of

 spark camp. was so engrossed

with every one of them.. very interesting personalities and i love to see how no one is spared to be vulnerable. also surprized with Karl as i thought he is the one who will be left out as he is the oldest but maturity has its own charm. lovely

-finally able to walk around and appreciate the sun on my skin again. 

-re do the perfect contentment in the present guided meditation by purely being. able to recalibrate towards inner peace.

07/17

-our partee lasted even after midnight. and i felt obliged to also have sex with the host and the other guy, who is partly from Bohol. i also find him handsome and sexy. since i dont want him to feel left behind, i also do it with him and even have him burst inside my mouth.

-its monday morning and i still have work later that night. woke up with rj cooking some noodles and hugged and kissed him before l left. it was

really a great session..

07/16

-its sunday and i had this insistent partee invite from this guy from bagong silang. it will be his treat. its with his tropa and when i get there i was welcomed by a good looking guy. his name is rj from 

pampanga. he is definitely my type from the start. so the moment we started, all of my attention is on his. he is totally hot and our sex is spellbindinf. with a tinge of portrait of fire and hand maiden. last time i had that was with max from novaliches, last year in December. rj came on me twice. hopefully we can still do it again in the future.

07/15

-1st day of of spanish class!

cant contain my excitement . it feels different as its my first

post graduate class that really earns certification and hopefully my sure ticket to 

spain. i almost got late and always get astonished with the beauty of ayala district specially inside the ayala triangle.

-we had marina luz of instituto Cervantes as our professor and she is columbian. i made 2 new friends who came in very late

-my doulingo and que hora es pre classes paids off as i somehow

able to catch some of the phrases marina made. as she 

purely conduct her class in 

Spanish. bien trabajo!

-my Saturday night is no longer dedicated for clubbing, as i felt exhausted after the class

07/14

-it keeps on raining for the 

 past few days. just simply get buried in my bed and hibernate

-reread/re listen to kafka on the shore this time by murakami..

07/13

-after 3 years of free mobile internet from my company since the pandemic , they cease and cancel it. now im buying my load and got frustrated how i consume it fast from work, youtube and and social media. now i refuse to subscribe to it more often. so now my 

passa tiempo back to what i love before, novels. i reread sand of times and what better way to traverse spain than Sidney Sheldon's wild imaginings 😅.. it bringing back the joy of flipping through the crisp pages of

papers

07/12

-been able to sleep wonderfully, straight and uninterrupted for atleast 8 hours..

-minimize hooking up and im now starting to fantasize/wishing a constant buddy

07/11

-trying to savour the little things and have that good feeling last long or much longer.

07/10

-enjoyed watching bjork live in 

paris and amy winehouse in 

london via youtube while doing my claims items. i felt productive at work 😅

07/09

-watched the mexican psych thriller: veronica 2017

marvel olga surina's performance. 

-had facial and massage. just wonderful. slept the whole night.

07/08

-reunite with lorraine and monette at bicutan.. gosh it feels like yesterday once more..been 5 years since weve been together

-walk around BGC and along edsa Guadalupe.. got facinates with seemingly floating islets of water lilies streaming along the Guadalupe river

-do simple acapella videoke at home, love to sing: our day will come by amy and cry me a river by angelie jordan.

07/06-07

-watched spanish horror film: 

el orfanato

-miss walking by the beach

-it keeps on raining nowadays, just laying on my bed

-friday, meet brent once again, we had samgyup at uptc. gosh he is really tall and cute. so he is 

frm ilocos and talk about his family and how he work here as a nurse in diliman doctors. i wish we keep on seeing each other in the future.

07/05

-after having a great sleep i felt resurrected. i have to regain my life back. able enroll to instituto Cervantes and process my papers in up Diliman. had a great talk with ma'am Gilda and talk about Sarah tario. i hope she will get back and finish what she started in UP Dil.

-talk with mamu and share my great news.

07/04

-wasnt able to sleep for two days. this was the hardest session I had. worst anxiety and grumpiness. everything is think about was negative. i am too afraid for almost anything. tried all means but wasn't able to sleep until late at night. thanks with the help of proper meal, mj, hot milk, magnesium and nightol. i have less body ache and head ache 

07/03

-it might because of the full moon or the idea that i will have a long weekend ahead, i become restlessly lunatic and crave for partee n play session.

finally meer a former flight attendant from grand central residences. it was one of the best sex.

-not in the right mood and not conditioned to meet russ and his friends.. i have to cancel my supposed meet up with them

-went for another round of 

 partee n play at Taguig but id didn't go well. it turned 20cc into waste. but i enjoy watching porn afterwards. i felt

too wasted/toxified and thinking i really need to stop this.

07/02

-finally watched little mermaid on the big screen with mocha at hand. had massage after. it was just complete me time.

07/01

-had my very first dentures in north Fairview (molar dent Lab). i have it straight from a lab technician who already have experience offshore (middle east) i got it more than half the 

Price from the dental clinic (25k vs 8k)

-meet this guy from Luzon ave. had sex and we went for a walk and had food trip at knl and maginhawa. it was a wonderful late night bonding

06/2023

06/30

-nothing much, just simply do nothing. i don't feel anything special lately. 

this video make me realize about happiness tho:

https://youtu.be/GF-xvBXgqa4

06/29

-sang hello dolly and remember how me and my father used to sang it together.

might sing it at russ' together with amy winhouse our day will come and angelina Jordan's cry me a river

-re read/listen to audio book hardboiled wonderland and the the end of the world. and struck with these lines:

"..tuning in on details, on the minute details of the world. snails and the sound of the rain and hardware store displays, things like that.."

06/28

-i felt a tingling sensation in my spine when me and my mother talk about my father's bouts of mental issues specially when he turn from dr jeckel to mr hyde. with such strangeness, my mother recount her conversation with my deceased grandma, the late mother of my father...when my grandma said, my father was tormented (gi daut) by his 

previous lovers (some of them might have cursed him as he hurt them badly, even died in vain.. may God bless their souls.. )

-watched the restored version of himala with mamu. we marvel nora aunor's acting and how cringy the mystery of faith and beliefs..

06/27

-accompanied my mother in 

pasig since kuya carlo, jess and avy went out of town for the holidays. she is suffering frm allergies and hopefully with my 

presence she will be fine.

06/26

-was the huddle in charge and had an activity about perspective. optical illusion. had fun on doing it and was all smiles whole day and had a wonderful time walk around the technohub garden

-visited carri and Jerome's team at building b, i missed our bonding at Zambales 

06/25

-just had a boring Sunday and simply slow down. went for crusing but it wasn't worth mentioning. enjoyed a sizzling

pork chop near maginhawa

-watched an episode of la casa de papel to improve my Spanish vocab

06/24

-had a great time at qc memorial for my first pride in the Philippines. my first pride was in taiwan. the drag queens, the party, the empowerment, it sent spark within me that i can carry it all through out

-was suppose to attend the

 elephant party at timog but it was packed. i love how my co denied walk in guests as they exclaimed: yes! magugulat mama ko na umuwi ako maaga! such a way to humor such dark disposition.

went to rapture instead and just got stoned and enjoy the music kaso it was so hot and i cannot fully dance. might as well sleep 

06/23

-had a conversation with russ over messenger. i tried inviting him over for the pride event i. q.memorial but hes heading to malabon tonight. we talk about our recent bjork exchanges also told russ about ricardo lopez as how intense his adoration with bjork however the intention was not that pure. i also share my plans in going to spain and he wish me best of luck.

 he mention how her songs meant different way in a different time. we also talk her most recent speach at a university in Iceland. Russ told me about how monks passes their wisdom orally. sent my appreciation and im so glad we have each other who we can talk about things with such declaration! we end with all laughs.

06/20-22

-went through bjork's old live 

performances and at this time it was her post-homegenic resonates me. realized that this is the time when bjork is so thrilled of sharing her full potential.

-thought of chai and russ. still wondering if only they are ok then i shouldn't be suffering frm being caught in between. i figured out that's why i dont visit neither of them due to that conflict 😅

-just get lost with my thoughts on

06/19

-went claire's resto: Sol's kitchen and had fun times with claire, justin, sam and the bday boy cese.. sang limang dipang tao for the first time 

06/18

-swam early morning, saw the sunrise by the lagoon.. still a beautiful scenery.

-able to climb the mountain trail at anawangin cove. 

-there is this a certain tree that i hugged for some time, as i havent seen her for a very long time.

-done my usual yoga at the very peak of that mountain, making sure to have my focus as a little imbalance can send me off to the cliff'

-exhausted from the trip slept whole night 

06/17

-went to Zambales with carri, jerwin, jerome and his team

-met a triathlete hunk by the beach, we end up having cr fun. he looks like derek ramsy gosh.

06/16

-met brent , 5'10 23yr old baby face with a body of a man. amazing physique. had sex with him and gave him. a massage after. watched him sleep beside me. he have the most beautiful armpit ive seen. cant help but take pictures of it. (ref: brent1 and brent 2)

06/12

-felt recharged. 

06/11

-dedicated my whole weekend just inside my bedroom. allowing myself to simply do nothing, allowing myself to get bored and try to replenish my excitement/happy hormones 

-puffed some with russ' stash while watching princess mononoke. what a marvelous way to get transported to wonderful world of studio ghibli

06/10

-i reread my previous miniscule entries and this is what i needed at the moment, come face to face with sadness, look at it once again clearly as it is, i burst on crying at day 19:

 https://hotmug.blogspot.com/2008/09/august.html

-had my customized cacaocoffee and with such

 perfect moment, i bathe in the rain.

  

06/08-09

-these days, i just want to be bored and sad. yes, u get me right. i just felt i need it since i am always preoccupied and always happy.. i felt i have overused all my feel good energy and hormones so i need to recharge it or atleast attain a certain balance

-at this point in time i had nurture good interaction with my colleagues at work and really having a great time with them. getting busy at the side by learning spanish and even watch this film: Regressiva

-i also miss writing a proper blog as all do recently is just recounting my days, very formalist rather than a heavy mixture of analytical with heavy doses of emotional and psychological.. i am loosing that sense of abstract, that certain blend of dark swirls of 

nothingness and oneness. im loosing it to the extend i have no proper reflection of it and might have lose it entirely, but i know its still clinging somewhere.. with all the modern day distractions,

maybe i m need to try with all my might to simply sit with it and come face to face with it.

06/07

-felt overwhelmed today. its raining hard and got solace from the drenched birds taking refuge from our roof. and here i am, super anxious of my work, of my finances and future endeavors. i am also too worried as trying to make ends meet then i saw this homeless guy feeding on what appears to be restaurant excess. i felt i have no right to complain there are always others who have much worse sitiuation than i am.

06/04

-still having hangover with

 jap as i think about him first thing when i woke up..

-heading to russ' place to celebrate jay-r's bday.. let's see what's in store for us tonight 

-itv

06/03

-mark abargos invited me over at obar and had a great time. way better than at rapture with mondia.. i mean it was just the two of us (mark and i) and no other strangers who have other personal motives. so it was pure fun although mark is mending a broken heart and i hope me as a companion and listener able to provide him some sort of relief.. 

-met jap, half ilonggo and 

kapangpangan in obar. was kinda drunk already and being with him made me kilig.. had breakfast with him and had morning takk with him. super kilig when i kissed him before saying goodbye.. hope to see him again 

06/02

-enjoyed my time at work as i learn spanish lessons both from duolingo and Spotify podcast.. its way easier

compared to japanese. as Eunice told me, its better to take spanish lesson at Instituto Cervantes as they are directly connected to spanish embassy so i might enroll there rather than in UP European languages since the latter have limited slots 

06/01

-felt inspired by Eunice as i talked to her about teaching in baguio and she is heading to spain as a teacher as well. that gave me encouragement to venture overseas as i felt ready this time.

05/2023

05/31

-this one inspired me a lot today:

https://youtu.be/dK2km_x9-as

as i thread along wrong turns, there is hope finding the right

path for myself.

05/30

-watched the animated film, the little prince at upfi.

it's one of those moments i didnt regret waking up early.. it's a long since overdue but it hits so hard as its this time when i am being swallowed by the corporate world and i have to remind myself and not to forget. i cried so hard and left me being hopeful..

-an old acquaintance saw me. the tranny at the end corner of our street. she said i look morena.. i was about to tell her the adage black is beautiful but too much black is charcoal. but my head is shuffling. as it calculated this statement instead:

being dark is beautiful

but too dark, is a nightmare

i end up saying nothing and just smiled at her.. 😁

.05/29

-continue with my senspai is annoying marathon. i first started with the manga version and fell in love again with the world of illustration. beautiful imagery and that ticklish feeling of having a crush. takada senpai is such my type 🤭

-bonding with mondia, a way to make bawi with him last weekend since i felt i was so mean to him (i told him hypocrite and let him know his friends as bulok) ahaha but i did not apologized to him because it is what it is.

05/28

-woke up with slight hang over. went to chowking for breakfast but they did not follow my request to have an extra milk. took the halo2x spoon to compensate for it. 

-went to kuya's place and bond with mamu and and family.. used my podium points to buy groceries and skincare for my mother.. then watched 

polite society with my sister in law and kulitan with my nephew, baby avyyy....

-family day, it is

05/27

-went to rapture with john mondia.. its been a while since i partied in cubao. was super drunk and somewhat enjoyed the night minus the too much crowd and not so good music. kind of irritated when john mondia's friend insist on going to timog. walked out and headed back to cubao but my long term crush msge so i went to shaw. only to find him so haggard and doesn't appear at par with his pics.. the night is more of 

dissapointments than fun but not all weekends are that great. it was a weekend afterall

05/26

-walking home from work while continue re-visiting veruscka's blog. a needed encapsulation of that certain feeling that once there and always be there. 

-its starting to leaf through rainy reason again and i can feel the cold damp breeze on my face. fire trees bloom against dark clouds. dark damp poignancy, ignited..

05/25

-watched ammonite. certain unearthed within me and unlocked. such a wonderful back to back movie for the world to come. although this is less powerful but kate and soarcee's performance was such a treat

05/24

-performed for our opening salvo while claire sung "ako ay isang serena". a farewell to summer and prelude to the lgbt month. 

-hosted our town hall meeting

-fun night at work

05/23

-watched the world to come and it hits a certain spot and i wailed all day long.

05/22

-went to russ' place to make up from yesterdays even though i haven't slept yet

-it was really heart warming to see kaori. and also meeting sni for the first time. brought them my treasured finds from boracay. the shell looking coral from puka beach for kaori and the algae laden blue coral for sni. i am so glad they are happy. when russ came out i also brought him the pearls i found in la union and the biohilia-esque red coral from bantayan. like even myself i was so surprised with the four shores ive been just this summer. like wow.

-then treat them with cacao frm cebu and even facilitated a cacao ceremony, it was purely magical and wonderful letting their hearts open up.. it was swift and sweet and unifying. -then kaori made an asian noodles for us and then russ let us watch "burning"

-i kept on laughing with joy even when i got back to my room.

-and finally, i was able to sleep 

-i am happy

05/21

-parteed with gensan guy. it was soooo good i have to pay it back with sleeplessness and body ache. he is a grower and hard all day and night long.. 

 plus its his gv.. he came inside me twice.. gosh..😁 in fairness, that surpassea most of my sessions 

-not in the right condition so i have to miss meeting russ and sni, his friend frm Taiwan.

05/19-20

-went for grooming, facial massage and haircut

-felt productive and attained well being.

05/17-18

-slept and regained needful rest. sleeping in my room is incomparable, slept like a baby

-watched joel lamangan's hindi tayo pwede and was affected regardless of its negative review 

-slow down and just embrace the coming of rainy season

05/16

-was suppose to meet a spanish filipino guy but i end up with this hung who stayed in seabird. the robust i took made me so horny that every lick he made in my body moved me to ecstasy. and his huge dick make me loose my mind.

-going back to manila. i felt my stay in bora was enough. was about to meet two guys for sex but i end up making love with the sea as my grand finale .

-read through this twitter thread

https://twitter.com/culturaltutor/status/1658395657172918274?t=6V5GdALsQwEa9Az8YU5siA&s=19

"Those with power or wealth always fear losing them and never have peace of mind; those who pursue fame are pursuing an illusion; physical pleasures always leave us unfulfilled and wanting more.

Nothing external can make us truly satisfied or truly happy"

05/15

-im starting to feel the heaviness of my last remaining days of my stay here in bora.

-feeling ko nman super worth it and solved sya, specially i had my 2nd encounter with the ojt guy.. sobrang gwapo nya pala sa malapitan, daks pa...if mey mattress pa ako, malang nabuntis ako since sagad at putok nya sa loob.. tangina! 

05/14

-puka beach whole day 

-super amazed with the fishes where ive seen beautiful angel fish and discuss fish also some rare parrot fishes. there is

this spot where there was an attempt to build something and it became a ruin which eventually became habitant for marine organisms.. if only i have a under water camera, i could have taken pics of these wonderful creatures. my highlight is the baby cuttlefish just right on my face. ahaha

-ojt guy cr fun.. totally hot.. yummy and daks

05/13

-party with seaman student frm shoretime to epic

05/12

-rainbow cafe with bora1

-explore the depths right across station y, near asya and amazed how beautiful the marine life compared to station 2

05/11

-met this guy whom i kept on msging. and he is worth the wait.. handsome and super huge. felt my hole gaped as he is a deep fucker and huge. my ass definitely had a good pounding i almost give up and finally he burst after he removed the condom and fuck me bareback. then he cum on my face and mouth. (ref bora.3.daks)

05/10

-meet seaman student guy and had sex with him again. he is definitely huge and yummy.. his male physique is extraordinary 

05/09

-woke up sore as just now i was able sleep well and long. after spending so much fun times with the new found gang and with Cha', i believe its gonna be calmer days ahead of me..

-lazy day

-its been a long time since i have sex. thought i would end up zero but meet a seaman student from Iloilo.. hunky and mey dating. he wont share his pic even i tried persisting.. but gosh he is huge and would like to have 2nd orgasm. i burst like crazy and if only my TL is not looking for me i could have stayed for the 2nd blast. 

05/08

-2nd day with cha and we had breakfast then proceed at bama where we had some drinks by the beach. met this african guy from chad. he talks about most Filipino got shy with black. he is a handsome and charming guy so i assured him he should be able to find his way to anyone's heart. i never saw such happiness painted on somebody's face as his as he marvel the beauty of the boracay shores

-hugged cha as she about to take a nap not knowing it is our final hug before she come back to cebu and later in Japan.. such a swift yet sweet moment with her.

-watch sunset as people pass by at station 2 as kokoy look alike joined me. i felt it took a toll on me now being constantly with friends for the 

past few days and the thought i still have more than a week ahead of me here in boracay gave me this certain after glow that this time i will enjoy it on my own.

05/07.

-had so much fun since ive been in bora, last entry was may 2...

-woke up seeing the bunk of dharcy empty and somebody else is occupying Emerson's bed.

-Cha ferrer arrived in Bora and in we spent time catching up on these locations:

 *mayas

 *real coffee

 *station zero

 *ruins

 *diniwind

 she had a long day so she have to retire early

-went to om. bar with this guy frm gr who looks like kokoy with his hair. just partey with his new found friends and we got so drunk with a premium grade tequila. i really loge the dj and her playlist are boring but she made it so good. had a great time

- i am super drunk so i went midnight swimming with the full moon. medium calm crystal water, white sand its sssoooo blissfully good.

05/06

-ive been in a middle of so much happening and so much fun that i felt there's a need for re centering. 

-but the universe seems want me to enjoy the ride as our group went to s.2 had a great swim. then we went to newport coast then to keyhole. 

-i found the cove very peaceful and nice for snorkeling and harvest some sea urchin and had uni for dinner

-saturday night so went party

starts at rainbow lounge and then went to epic. i found myself dancing with this group from Australia (i believe based on their accent) when we found the center dance floor boring.. and thats when the real party begun.. ahaha so much fun..

-then later i found this hairy guy who works in bora and we went to bulabog area for an outdoor bareback fun. (ref: bora2) i like his smell and i came while he fucks me. that was intense fuck under the coconut trees.

-went night swimming.. alone by the beach, full moon, white sands, with post party music and lights, in paradise.

05/05

-discovered a shortcut frm shoretime dormitel to the beach. it was a beautiful cove. done simple workout and yoga.

-super wonderful sunset

-then during the night, met this local guy who is nearby almost 6 footer (ref: bora1) we did it around the cove as if it was the jurrasic park of puerto galera

-met new friend, dharcy, a trans from pampangga. she became my instant beshie introduce her to emerson and then 2 fellow dorm mates from bataan and she brewed a new adventure for the group for tomorrow: key hole.

-dharcy and i went to this drag 

performance at rainbow lounge and cafe, awesome slaying queens!

-at night, bonding with emerson and dakki over drinks.

-drinking while listening to live accoustic. currennt trend is uhaw by dilaw. he sang it as a real good singer

-dakki is now leaving and going back to davao.. i found myself sad and will miss him. hopefully we can meet in mindanao as dharcy and i planning to meet in siargao.

05/04

-able to swim station 2 and explore the ruins of station one.

-suppose to meet the yuppy for a coffee treat, (the guy who help me going accross bora) but he was caught in a meeting 

-falling in love with dakki as he gave me a mojito treat. i dunno but he appears to be straight 

05/03

-heading to bora, flight was delayed.

-found this yuppy and he guide me how to maneuver in bora. it was a stormy day and the boat jumps with the waves as other passengers scream. it was a hell of a ride 😁

-settled late and was super tired.

-fun started with meeting emerson even on my first day in bora, a fellow cebuano and i accompany him around bora since its his first. we had a very long talk with his endless life stories 

-my VL was not approved so i end up working but good thing there is this guy, a new found friend of emmerson and i really found him cute. his name is dakki from davao

05/02

-woke up sad as i will be leaving elyu and havent got the job post i was confident to get. well thats how it is... 

-say see u instead of goodbye with zyris and mark.. it was such a remarkable stay in circle hostel

-having the beetles "let it be" 

playing on the bus.. a whimsical reminder.

 05/01

 -saw this cute guy also staying at circles. ive seen him looking at me. he is tall, moreno and well formed biceps. he is wearing a mustard colour muscle tee shirt. so when i check in gr who are a foot away asked them if they wore the same color. and one said yes. and it was him! we managed to meet in my side of ward and even have him inside my bunk. we did it inside my cot. gosh he is so hot and huge. even took 

picture of his package. although he came too quickly but i was able to consume his entire manliness and came with his d* inside my mouth

are we at the beach or in a museum?

i felt compelled to share one of the highlights of my latest trip.

i already told them i am kinda anti-pop but my new found tribe is so hyped to visit the latest trending spot in boracay. they insist and i said ok.  The Keyhole is so far away and secluded we have to haggle for our trike fare. so meaning it takes so much money and effort just to come face to face with this "iconic natural attraction".

only to find that it is cordoned.

like what?! are we at the beach or in a museum?

while my fellows were just contended in taking  pictures outside the boundary my innards are revolting so i go beyond the yellow chain and just simply be the child of the universe and "be with" the wonderful rock formation.

then just few seconds, there is no surprise one of the security guards approached us. 

oh well.. i am so very prepared for this and told him about the book of Genesis, that God made them all. natural wonders shouldn't be privatized.

of course i let the security guard made his nonsense sop spiels while we slowly vanish... since i am done with my mission---with a huge smile on my face.

fin

04/2023

04/30 

(need more details 04/27-30) un able to write as it happens as too many events happens

-last day of april. meet this cutie guy just across my hostel. we just had some drinks and good food upstairs (forgot the name, right above fatwave) we have this beautiful view of the beach while we talk about having sex. we dont have a place so i said we might try the outdoors just behind our hostel. outdoors it is. we went to this bushy trail and had sex in the middle of thorny bamboos. we got so much scratches after we reached orgasm together. crazy month ender!

04/28-29

-im really having the time of my life. no time for sleep. after my shift i meet regie again and we went for a day tour with his new found friend as well. we went to the northern part of san juan. 

-went back to elyu and just chill with regie. seeing him so tall, lean and muscular, sexy and he is with me just laying across kabsat. i felt lucky and having the best summer. 

04/27

-such a treat from work as i was given two days off. actually its an SL and what a way to unwind enjoying the good vibes and great waves of la union...

-start spending my day usually having free fallen mangoes from the hostel grounds talk with zyris, the hostel manager. walk and get stoke with the

   powerful waves, swim, eat halo2x, food trip, have beer. meet someone new. gosh.. this is the life! 

-finally meet regie, the 6 footer guy. I've been msging him since i got here in elyu and finally have sex with him. gosh our sex was intense and he is huge. we had dinner at fat wave after. 

04/26

-arrived in elyu past 2am. the staff in my hostel are already asleep. went to the beach and was astound with the powerful waves 

-walk from the love la union signage to urbiztondo and had an amazing sunrise and marvel the surfer. i went ahead and swim with the crashing waves. 

-if sta fe cebu is more of a cat, la union is more of a dog: playful, intense, rowdy and intense. and the way i enjoy it here is more of the feeling rather than how u see it.

 -able to sleep and woke up energized. went to the left aide shore and marveled another version of the surfing beach. i love it better. less crowd wonderful sun.

-had ice-cream near kabsat and ride with the waves while having sunset. just marvelous

-met a local frm san Fernando and had sex on the beach 

- then also met this elyu_guy (see references) frm San juan who is more of my type. been msging him all day and finally able to meet him. went to this ruins near the san juan market and it was a great sex. able to cum this time. after, we had some burgers and he show me around the town plaza. had a marvelous time with him

4/25

-went to carri's place to greet her happy bday in person. brought her the buwad frm cebu of to her mom. vcall with joshua who is now in Malaysia. hugged her tight and later im leaving to elyu without her. heading there on her behalf 

4/24

-woke up with raprap and say my good byes.. i will miss this bearded child 

-thanked nanay maring for wonderful stay.

-read the good earth by pearl s buck on the trip frm tingloy going back to manila

-submit my hardbound to doc d, but she is on leave.

-went to cubao to do my usual facial, massage and haircut

04/23

-masasa day 2. woke up with the puppy named raprap. very cute dog with beard.

-karaoke acapella by the beach

-bjork soundtrip til sundown

anchor, harm of will.

04/22

-wind-riding with russ to masasa.

-had an amazing stay at seafront at nanay marzing.

-amazing sunset, 2 black crows wind gliding, blue king fisher, sun kissing the sea. eidel fitter quarter moon and venus.

-mutual core landscape 

-mj smoke. dancing at the sea, fears, dark walk along the cliffs (too complex to write about, might edit) such an adventure 

04/21

-recently, i am being tried with circumstances that doesn't go along with my way.. particularly with my holiday overtime which was not fully approved since i didnt take the quota. then a final submission for doc d. but she just left mins ago. such a downer. i really still have to re-practice my acceptance muscles.

4-20

-really cant sleep due to extreme heat.

-need to be out of town so i booked trips going to elyu and bora.

-was suppose to be with carri on her bday in elyu but she can't make it.

-will be seeing cha ferrer in bora while she visits her hometown cebu after years of years in japan.

4/17-19

-tried making bawi with sleep and rest

-i missed my room

-do guided meditation and walk

-noticed im having less porn or having the need to be fucked by someone.. 

-just having this lingering me time and just simply feel the present moment.

04/16

-visited russ since he is under the weather.

-brought him the sun dried fish from bantayan and prepared him the soupy mongo x shitake mushroom with alugbate and malongay and buwad.

-chilling at sbux when i went though my memories and saw pictures of me with my gang in Puerto Galera when we were still so young and capable of partying as if there's no tomorrow. it was such a wonderful time travel. marvel the manila bay sunset after

-get inside rizal park for the very first time in my life. gosh been in manila for more than a decade but finally able to get in and not just passed by.

04/15

-been too lazy lately. haven't done anything since my vacation leave last april 13, Thursday 

-dinner with dave at UPTC. it was short yet i appreciate his time with me. 

04/14

-rainy days in summer

-watched mike de leon's itim at UPFI

-met this 5'11 guy from pasig. yummy armpits.

04/13

-im experiencing this magnesium induced sleephood. just wonderful ive been sleeping like a baby.

-msged russ, saying im just looking through my window with drops of Ruichi's passing..

04/12

-just done with my interview with Daniel, the hiring manager for instructional designer post. felt relieved and ecstatic after all the anxiety and preparation ive made.

04/11

-listened to devlin peck's podcast specially with his interview with Joanna how to land on instructional designer post. it was very informative and motivating.

04/09

-bday sex with samar guy

-michiko aoba easter lily

-meet dave, have dinner

-meet john mondia and his friends as we also celebrate his brother's upcoming bday.

04/08

-wake up in lobo. able to sleep more than 10 hrs. felt rejuvenated. 

-5am. walk with kf to buy pandesal early morning. something that i really like to do once in a province.

-breakfast at the beach. just wonderful.

-bonding with LA and taught him with my fishing (as a pet) skills, which i learned growing up in bantayan island.

-we walk through different beaches along malabrigo and found series of different kind of beaches. sandy, pebbly, rocky and even at the end point, where it was windy and they have this emotional landscape. i felt it was such a long day. felt ive been staying on the beach for 3 days. so going home with the Bautista is such a convenience and I felt our quick yet lengthy stay in Lobo so sulit.

-we had this special halo2x and they all greeted me advance happy bday. i always not celebrate my bday, but this one is an exemption. super felt wonderful.

-had this view of sunset in the middle of a downward road (as if its the edge of the earth) along san jose batangas, this appears to be the last sunset of my 37th year of my existence. was not able to take picture of it but was one of those surreal and memorable moment.

04/07

-went to lobo with kf

-i don't have enough sleep plus the trip was so exhausting. glad to meet instant friends. one who is from bicol and we talk about donsol. then the other one is Patricia, a tranny from Zamboanga who is going to masasa. both help us take alternative ride going to batangas city since most direct buses are no longer available due to the lenten season.

-finally reached malabrigo with wonderful weather and crystal clear waters

-brought pasalubong frm bantayan. and also we had some drinks before we headed to the beach and enjoy the refreshing clear water. 

-walk along the coral reefs and LA (josh' nephew) found a trapped puffer fish and we set it free.

-able to see the magnificent sunset at the lovers lane

-spent time with joshua and the bautista family in their beach house in malabrigo

-joshua is about migrate to work in KL so it is also a despidada for him.

-unable to connect to the internet so simply brush off double pay and just simply enjoy the long weekend. 

-slept with KF and just simply snuggle in his armpits 

04/06

-trip going back to cebu as our flight will be tonight

-we have the entire bus ride for ourselves

-i remembered i had a co seat mate from my bora batanagas manila trip when we do it on the bus then we even make out in a motel when we arrived in cubao. got horny with the thought. since i have the entire back side to my self, i play by myself and reached orgasm. read an article in webmd about the four stages of sexual response cycle. excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. but there was something wrong per dr emily nagoski:

https://youtu.be/eqX38J9ya1I

04/05

-savoring our remaining days here in kabac. languishing on sea food and biking along the sea wall.

-bonding with the ducay, watching blippi with xinxin, having coffee while popc and mamu are together. very ideal scene for a family in province

-this entire stay is more of family, it made me remember of the old days when u had no choice but be with ur family during summer break.

04/04

-went to sta fe from kabac for a bike trip. 22kms and i made it in 2 stops in 2 hours. crazy exhausting but exhilarating.

-pitstop at kermit's for their coffee and brazo de Mercedes. just complete yumminess.

-i was late for work, and i need at least an appropriate workstation to set up my laptop, saw this wonderful clearing but it turned out to be a cemetery.. nah, would go straight to kota instead.

-its wonderful to bike around sta. fe, remembered when max, mint and gerald bike along sta fe to bantayan road. it was crazy

-finally meet this hot tour guide and got satisfied with his hugeness. huge cock in my mouth, yummy smell of his balls and when he fucked me, i got stretched. i came while he fucked me and then when he is about to explode, he thrust his huge cock to my throat where his semen go straight to my esophagus and take all of his cum. that was intense and made me so horny satisfied.

-worked at kota with palesen and under the moon

04/03

-woke up at tria. i had a vivid dream of in a romantic relationship with someone. i dont recognize him but he is neither dave or kf.

-once my hangover is over, breakfast with tri and we talked once again. i just love how we talk without any judgement or whatsoever. she is indeed my soul sister. lovely lovely moment.

-enjoyed my first ever tuslob buwa and basked into the beautiful sunset of patao. where the sun really kissed the sea and bade farewell for the day.

04/02

-ive already lost my two charms, now i lost my skagen watch by the beach. i got to retrace my steps to look for it. as if trying to find a needle in a haystack. but gladly found it. i was in a verge of tears.

-just in time for sunrise. just wonderful.

-coffee by the beach. just perfect

-read sands of time at kota beach while enjoying a sumptous halo halo with coffee coco water latte

-back in kabac, i love hearing the voices of my family. my mother, my father (who just arrived) and my in laws and my pamangkin, xin Xin.. it is indeed amazing to be blessed with family.

-went to patao to attend don don's bday. able to hug tria tightly and blessed by mdme Victoria. it was an intimate wonderful talk over dinner and drinks.

-there was a potential straight guy on basketball jersey but we are too drunk to make out. passed out and woke up with a bad hangover. gosh

04/01

talk with russ

-chai, nocebo

-bjork

-nowness, wowness

-beer by the beach at kota

-saw this nice dining setup at the beach gazebo and call dave

-trubador washing moment at the beach.. sunset, clear water, moon, sky, stars. just exactly what i wanted.. what i needed. just here

just here right now.

-saw a dorsal fin.. its huge enough for either a dolphin or could be a shark..