06/2023

06/30

-nothing much, just simply do nothing. i don't feel anything special lately. 

this video make me realize about happiness tho:

https://youtu.be/GF-xvBXgqa4

06/29

-sang hello dolly and remember how me and my father used to sang it together.

might sing it at russ' together with amy winhouse our day will come and angelina Jordan's cry me a river

-re read/listen to audio book hardboiled wonderland and the the end of the world. and struck with these lines:

"..tuning in on details, on the minute details of the world. snails and the sound of the rain and hardware store displays, things like that.."

06/28

-i felt a tingling sensation in my spine when me and my mother talk about my father's bouts of mental issues specially when he turn from dr jeckel to mr hyde. with such strangeness, my mother recount her conversation with my deceased grandma, the late mother of my father...when my grandma said, my father was tormented (gi daut) by his 

previous lovers (some of them might have cursed him as he hurt them badly, even died in vain.. may God bless their souls.. )

-watched the restored version of himala with mamu. we marvel nora aunor's acting and how cringy the mystery of faith and beliefs..

06/27

-accompanied my mother in 

pasig since kuya carlo, jess and avy went out of town for the holidays. she is suffering frm allergies and hopefully with my 

presence she will be fine.

06/26

-was the huddle in charge and had an activity about perspective. optical illusion. had fun on doing it and was all smiles whole day and had a wonderful time walk around the technohub garden

-visited carri and Jerome's team at building b, i missed our bonding at Zambales 

06/25

-just had a boring Sunday and simply slow down. went for crusing but it wasn't worth mentioning. enjoyed a sizzling

pork chop near maginhawa

-watched an episode of la casa de papel to improve my Spanish vocab

06/24

-had a great time at qc memorial for my first pride in the Philippines. my first pride was in taiwan. the drag queens, the party, the empowerment, it sent spark within me that i can carry it all through out

-was suppose to attend the

 elephant party at timog but it was packed. i love how my co denied walk in guests as they exclaimed: yes! magugulat mama ko na umuwi ako maaga! such a way to humor such dark disposition.

went to rapture instead and just got stoned and enjoy the music kaso it was so hot and i cannot fully dance. might as well sleep 

06/23

-had a conversation with russ over messenger. i tried inviting him over for the pride event i. q.memorial but hes heading to malabon tonight. we talk about our recent bjork exchanges also told russ about ricardo lopez as how intense his adoration with bjork however the intention was not that pure. i also share my plans in going to spain and he wish me best of luck.

 he mention how her songs meant different way in a different time. we also talk her most recent speach at a university in Iceland. Russ told me about how monks passes their wisdom orally. sent my appreciation and im so glad we have each other who we can talk about things with such declaration! we end with all laughs.

06/20-22

-went through bjork's old live 

performances and at this time it was her post-homegenic resonates me. realized that this is the time when bjork is so thrilled of sharing her full potential.

-thought of chai and russ. still wondering if only they are ok then i shouldn't be suffering frm being caught in between. i figured out that's why i dont visit neither of them due to that conflict 😅

-just get lost with my thoughts on

06/19

-went claire's resto: Sol's kitchen and had fun times with claire, justin, sam and the bday boy cese.. sang limang dipang tao for the first time 

06/18

-swam early morning, saw the sunrise by the lagoon.. still a beautiful scenery.

-able to climb the mountain trail at anawangin cove. 

-there is this a certain tree that i hugged for some time, as i havent seen her for a very long time.

-done my usual yoga at the very peak of that mountain, making sure to have my focus as a little imbalance can send me off to the cliff'

-exhausted from the trip slept whole night 

06/17

-went to Zambales with carri, jerwin, jerome and his team

-met a triathlete hunk by the beach, we end up having cr fun. he looks like derek ramsy gosh.

06/16

-met brent , 5'10 23yr old baby face with a body of a man. amazing physique. had sex with him and gave him. a massage after. watched him sleep beside me. he have the most beautiful armpit ive seen. cant help but take pictures of it. (ref: brent1 and brent 2)

06/12

-felt recharged. 

06/11

-dedicated my whole weekend just inside my bedroom. allowing myself to simply do nothing, allowing myself to get bored and try to replenish my excitement/happy hormones 

-puffed some with russ' stash while watching princess mononoke. what a marvelous way to get transported to wonderful world of studio ghibli

06/10

-i reread my previous miniscule entries and this is what i needed at the moment, come face to face with sadness, look at it once again clearly as it is, i burst on crying at day 19:

 https://hotmug.blogspot.com/2008/09/august.html

-had my customized cacaocoffee and with such

 perfect moment, i bathe in the rain.

  

06/08-09

-these days, i just want to be bored and sad. yes, u get me right. i just felt i need it since i am always preoccupied and always happy.. i felt i have overused all my feel good energy and hormones so i need to recharge it or atleast attain a certain balance

-at this point in time i had nurture good interaction with my colleagues at work and really having a great time with them. getting busy at the side by learning spanish and even watch this film: Regressiva

-i also miss writing a proper blog as all do recently is just recounting my days, very formalist rather than a heavy mixture of analytical with heavy doses of emotional and psychological.. i am loosing that sense of abstract, that certain blend of dark swirls of 

nothingness and oneness. im loosing it to the extend i have no proper reflection of it and might have lose it entirely, but i know its still clinging somewhere.. with all the modern day distractions,

maybe i m need to try with all my might to simply sit with it and come face to face with it.

06/07

-felt overwhelmed today. its raining hard and got solace from the drenched birds taking refuge from our roof. and here i am, super anxious of my work, of my finances and future endeavors. i am also too worried as trying to make ends meet then i saw this homeless guy feeding on what appears to be restaurant excess. i felt i have no right to complain there are always others who have much worse sitiuation than i am.

06/04

-still having hangover with

 jap as i think about him first thing when i woke up..

-heading to russ' place to celebrate jay-r's bday.. let's see what's in store for us tonight 

-itv

06/03

-mark abargos invited me over at obar and had a great time. way better than at rapture with mondia.. i mean it was just the two of us (mark and i) and no other strangers who have other personal motives. so it was pure fun although mark is mending a broken heart and i hope me as a companion and listener able to provide him some sort of relief.. 

-met jap, half ilonggo and 

kapangpangan in obar. was kinda drunk already and being with him made me kilig.. had breakfast with him and had morning takk with him. super kilig when i kissed him before saying goodbye.. hope to see him again 

06/02

-enjoyed my time at work as i learn spanish lessons both from duolingo and Spotify podcast.. its way easier

compared to japanese. as Eunice told me, its better to take spanish lesson at Instituto Cervantes as they are directly connected to spanish embassy so i might enroll there rather than in UP European languages since the latter have limited slots 

06/01

-felt inspired by Eunice as i talked to her about teaching in baguio and she is heading to spain as a teacher as well. that gave me encouragement to venture overseas as i felt ready this time.