relapse

-myself

*Chatgpt 

-What do you mean by heart broken by your crush. We are not official but we keep on having sex. And i develop a special feeling for him. Now he hurts me since he keeps on seeing someone else

*It sounds like you're going through something really painful, and it's totally valid to feel heartbroken, even if you weren't officially in a relationship. When you’re physically intimate and develop deep emotional feelings for someone, your heart gets involved—regardless of labels.

Being “heartbroken by your crush” means you cared deeply, maybe even hoped for more, and now you're hurt because they’re giving attention to someone else, despite the connection you shared. It feels like betrayal, even if there wasn’t an official commitment, because your emotions and vulnerability were very real.

Have you had a chance to express how you feel to him? Or are you still trying to make sense of it all?

-I tried, but he seems very promiscuous and not contented with me

*That’s really tough—and I’m sorry you’re in that space right now.

It sounds like you gave a lot of yourself—emotionally and physically—and he’s not able or willing to reciprocate that depth. Promiscuity alone isn't the issue; it’s the lack of emotional connection, respect, or exclusivity when that’s what you were looking for. And that disconnect can cut deep, especially when you’re emotionally invested.

You deserve someone who chooses you fully, not just physically, but emotionally too. Someone who doesn’t leave you questioning your worth or wondering why you aren’t enough.

Can I ask—do you still want something with him? Or are you trying to find a way to move on and heal?

-I am trying to move on, last April 7 i blocked him completely. Now it seems i am having a relapse. I keep on thinking of him. And i felt like I am going downward spiral

*Blocking him on April 7 was a brave step—it shows you're protecting your peace, even if it hurts like hell right now. Relapsing with thoughts and feelings doesn’t mean you’re weak or going backward; it’s a normal part of healing from someone who meant a lot to you. Grief isn’t linear. Some days feel like progress, and others feel like drowning.

You're not spiraling—you’re hurting. And that hurt needs space to breathe without judgment.

It might help to give your feelings an outlet: write everything you wish you could say to him (without sending it), or talk to a friend you trust. Even simple acts like moving your body, changing environments, or immersing yourself in something creative or calming can shift your energy when it starts to spiral.

Want help processing those thoughts or figuring out ways to keep from reaching out or obsessing over him? I’ve got you.

-Yes please give me advice, i need help.

*I’m really glad you reached out—this stuff is heavy, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Here’s some advice that might help you get through the fog, step by step:

1. Feel it all (without judgment)

You’re allowed to miss him. You’re allowed to be angry, sad, confused—even if you made the choice to block him. Just because something wasn’t “official” doesn’t mean it wasn’t real to you. Let yourself feel, but don’t let those feelings define your worth.

Write it out — maybe in a journal or a note on your phone:

What did you love or want from him?

What hurt the most?

What do you wish he would’ve given you that he didn’t?

Getting it out helps clear your mind.

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2. Interrupt the spiral

When you catch yourself thinking of him nonstop, try this:

Name what you're feeling: “I’m feeling abandoned,” “I’m feeling rejected,” or “I miss the connection.”

Redirect your attention: Take a walk, call someone, play music that shifts your energy (even a sad playlist that lets you cry it out, then a strong one to lift you).

Set a short timer (like 10 minutes) to allow yourself to sit in the feeling, then move your body or your environment.

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3. Remember why you blocked him

Write a list of reasons you walked away. What were the signs he wasn’t good for your emotional health? Keep it where you can see it when you're tempted to break no contact.

Example reminders:

He made me feel replaceable.

He didn’t respect my emotional needs.

I kept hoping he would change, but he didn’t.

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4. Shift the focus back to you

Ask yourself:

What parts of me need love right now?

What do I deserve in love that I didn’t get with him?

Start nurturing those parts. Could be as simple as making time for hobbies, reconnecting with friends, dressing up for you, or taking steps toward something you’ve been putting off.

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5. Daily grounding check-in

Try starting or ending each day with 3 small things:

One thing you’re feeling

One thing you're proud of (even if it's just "I didn't text him")

One thing you’re looking forward to or want to try

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If you want, I can also help you write out a "letter you won’t send" to him—just to release some of that emotional build-up.

Do you want to try that now? Or would you prefer help with another part first?

-Ok, let me try the "letter you won't send" and this is how i should write him.

Dear Manilvaguy,

I like you so much, you know that. I keep on telling you that. I also tried to make you feel special by giving you massages, drinking wine with you, talk by the balcony, make love, prepare coffee and toast for you. But you choose not to be exclusive with me. I aways see you online in grindr and probably meeting someone else nearby. I hate you for that. I hate you for making me feel jealous. I felt lonely and miss you but you choose to be with someone else instead. I cried and lost myself. I need to redeem myself so i have to cut loose whatever we have between us. It hurts so much but this is something i need for me to heal and hopefully become someone who can be with someone who deserves my love. I miss you, i like you but i have to say good bye to you. 

Good riddance. 

Warmth, Liyo

*Liyo, that letter is powerful. It's raw, honest, and so full of heart—it holds both the tenderness of your love and the strength of your decision to walk away. That’s no small thing. You poured your truth out, and that’s a major step in healing.

If you're open to it, here’s a lightly refined version—keeping your voice and emotion fully intact, but just smoothing some of the flow to make it even more cathartic:

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Dear Manilvaguy,

I liked you so much. You knew that—I kept telling you. I tried to show you with every small thing: the massages, the wine nights, our balcony talks, making love, coffee and toast in the mornings. I gave you warmth, care, and pieces of myself that mattered.

But you chose not to be exclusive with me.

I saw you online on Grindr, always. Probably meeting someone else nearby. And every time, it broke something in me. I hated the way it made me feel—jealous, confused, not enough. I felt lonely, even while still attached to you. I missed you, even when I knew you were with someone else.

I cried. I lost myself in all of it. And now, I know—I need to redeem myself. I need to protect what’s left of my heart.

So I’m cutting loose whatever we had between us.

It hurts like hell, but I know this is what I need to begin healing. To become the version of myself who can stand tall again. Who can someday be with someone who chooses me fully and deserves the love I have to give.

I miss you. I like you. But I have to say goodbye.

Good riddance.

Warmth,

Liyo

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You can keep this for yourself, burn it, rewrite it, read it aloud—whatever helps you let go, piece by piece. And if you ever feel like slipping, come back to this letter. It’s proof of your strength, even in heartbreak.

Want to write another one later or need help with how to take care of yourself in the days after a goodbye like this? I’m here.

-I felt a bit better.. as always, it's an absolute pleasure having you nearby. Until the next, i hope i have something more beautiful to share with you this time.. again, thank you..

That means the world to hear, Liyo. You’re handling something really heavy with so much courage and honesty—it’s truly inspiring. I’ll be right here whenever you need me, whether it's to process the pain or celebrate something beautiful (and I really hope that’s what’s next for you).

Take care of your heart—it’s worth protecting. Talk soon, okay?