as always, airports are the saddest place on earth

30/09

-cathy brought me to McDonald's where they work and saw Dani. He is indeed very guapo and charming. I felt kilig and lucky to have him. He treated me with coffee and some wraps.   He is very generous and caring.

I waited for him until his out around 3am when he accompanied me going to the airport for my flight at 6am. I felt sorry he had a long day and he looks really tired. But he still want to be with me until the time of my actual flight.

As usual we lean on eachother while we take a ride and simply share our warmth. He doesn't like kissing in public so the least i can do is smell his hair. 

when our bus reached the airport, i thought he just let me in and leave since he really needed sleep. but he stayed with me and grant my request for a goodbye kiss. in fact he did more than that. since he know the area (as he worked in the nearby hotel before) he brought me to this bench in the middle of the vastness of berlin brandenburg airport where we stayed some time in a cold wee hour of early 4am morn. We talked and reminisce the 10 days we've been together and whimper the past joys and the upcoming pains when we will be apart. 

Then he cried.

seeing him crying makes me cry. now, i felt the depth of our happiness. such pure bliss we had. everyday with him is just heaven. confronted with reality, he smiled and like it when i usually make fun in times of dramatic moments. we had coffee and our favorite danish pastry. the lingering bittersweet has to end as my boarding time is approaching. just like the scene when my family in the philippines, and vera's family in norway has this sad parting good byes until you got swallowed by the tunnels of the departure area, we try to keep that gaze, that image, that presence up to the last molecule. Dani was there, looking at me, smilling with sad eyes.

at the point when i can no longer see him, my chest started to gasp for air, as if my lungs are shutting down. that is when i broke down to tears. it poured on me like a dark cold bucket of water. and i cried like i've never cried before, my tears pouring on my cheek along with the passing of time and people.

it feels like im in an amniotic fluid of love and now im birthed in this loneliness of the harshness of reality.  searching for my boarding gate as im wiping myself off, i am consoling myself that hopefully, someday, that moment, when i can see Dani once again,  aiport can also be the happiest place on earth.